My husband treats me like a queen in my face but talks badly about me to others?

Question

Multiple people tell me things my husband speak on behind my back and they all say the same thing but in person he treats me like nothing is wrong

Flatmanlewis · Accepted Answer

Okay. I see three completely opposite views on this. Without knowing a little bit of what he is saying, it’s hard to say.

First, he may be a jerk who is trying to fit with others and lacks the masculine strength to be the lone voice of opinion in a room. To be able to be the one guy who’s NOT bashing his wife of the cliché of having a ball-and-chain wife. This could be just him trying to fit in, or maybe he’s looking for a laugh at your expense. Perhaps he’s just the clown and doesn’t mind embarrass you or himself so long as people are laughing.

Second, maybe he is not saying those things at all but his words are being misinterpreted or outright twisted by people you have mistitled as sincere friends. I think in the first several years of our marriage we found a lot of people we thought were good friends turned out to be not the case so much. Petty jealousy and gossipers can spin and ruin friendships without any real motive or true reason. Some people just love to spread BS. This particular happens in coed crowds.

Third and most important if it’s true is he is venting out from a place of pure frustration about some behaviors you have. Either he is too scared or weak to bring them up with you directly or you have created a situation where he doesn’t feel safe to do so himself. He may be trying to seek out advice and or just how to process this with other men, if this is an all male audience.

In the end actions do speak louder than words and the way this information came to you may be a sinister manipulation to contaminate your seemingly loving marriage into a problem for whatever petty reasons somebody may have. Speak to your husband about what you feel / have heard / been told / whatever, and be willing to listen to what he has to say.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

That’s sad to hear , you are sadly Married to a two faced piece of shit , your marriage is sadly nothing but lies , if that is the case , What kind of things is your husband saying about you behind your back? Whatever it may be? it’s an indication that your husband doesn’t really value you or appreciate you , he just likes the convenience of you. But he really doesn’t Love you , he only loves what he can get from you , He can pretty much have this marriage all by himself, because you sadly don’t really matter to him , especially if he is bashing you behind your back , You should really reconsider your marriage with him and lean to leaving his ass and realize you deserve better than that shit. I have ended relationships with girls’ because of shit like this , your partner is supposed to value you and appreciate you , be happy that you are by their side , speak highly about you making you their top priority. It won’t always be perfect , no relationship is perfect , but when a partner can bash you and criticize you and belittle you to other people? That is a huge red flag that they do not appreciate you , you are sadly just a convenience to them, especially if you are hearing this from a handful of people. If I was you , I would start making my plans to leave and realize you deserve better than that shit

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I'd like to know what is is saying to other people behind your back.

What does he do? Go out and talk bad about you then come home like he hasn't done anything wrong?

Who knows what he's saying and whatever it is when you are around those people, they know what he said about you. That would be quite embarrassing. It's like they know something you don't know.
Plus if he's lying about what he says about you, you can't even stick up for yourself and say it's not true.

He even had the nerve to renew your vows then the people that were there were probably wondering why?
He probably knows that you're on to him so he renewed the vows to throw you off track from whatever agenda he has that he's hiding from you.

He cannot be trusted. He's a creepy husband and he's two faced. Yuck!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

That sucks.  Nobody would ever dare say something bad about my loved ones in my face.  What a rat of a man your husband is?  You don’t need him!

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Navigating through the waves of emotions, aren't we? Let me tell you, sweetheart, the contrast between your husband's actions and words is a massive red flag flapping in the emotional breeze! Picture this: One moment he's showering you with love and affection, making you feel like royalty; then, when your back is turned, he's painting a not-so-royal portrait of you to others. It's like a plot twist in a romance novel, but not the kind we swoon over.

Here's the deal—communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. It's time to pull those curtains back and shine some light on the situation. Approach him calmly and express how these revelations make you feel. Remember, it's not about accusing; it's about understanding. The goal? To rebuild that bridge of trust, making it stronger, maybe even adding some love locks on it. Who knows? With open hearts and minds, you two can navigate this plot twist together. Keep your crown adjusted, and let's turn this into a love story for the ages!

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Stop asking other people about you and your husband. If he treats you well, that’s all you need to know. If you’re not in a polygamous marriage, what other people are saying doesn’t mean sh*t. Particularly when their words DO NOT match your experience. It might be a different story if you felt like he hated you and then other people confirmed as much. Don’t let that nonsense in unless you’re ready for a divorce.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

More than likely, the other guys were complaining about their wives, so he's just following suit to fit in.

Not a good idea, bc as you can see, things tend to come full circle.

Good thing he built it well, because the dogs got a new roommate.

sheikalana · Answer

Your Husband might have an issue with conflict and is keeping a lot of things to himself. As a couple you should never bad mouth your spouse behind their back that's one of the marriage rules. You need to confront him ASAP.

laly520 · Answer

doubt he even loves u at this point ur husband is supposed to support u not backstab u

LaurenM1997 · Answer

Have you told your husband how you feel when he talks about you behind your back remember this sentence that I’m gonna tell you rn communication is key! ❤️

Joshydavid25 · Answer

When did you get married? I remember your stories about seeing if guys like you.. But, I mean obviously your husband is two faced, and actually hates his wife.. Or something along those lines..

JacobJordan · Answer

I wouldn't trust shit coming from anyone else unless it is recorded. Too many miserable single people that want others to be miserable. Get it in recording or assume they are lying

supercutebutt · Answer

I agree with the Love Doctor. It's time to end your marriage. :(

DishLady · Answer

So sit down with the guy and talk to him about it.

slatyb · Answer

This is very sad. He's basically lying to you constantly.

worldscolide · Answer

That's no good. That's not something I'd ever do to my wife. It's not something a loving husband does.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yeah, this is sad for sure, I would confront him.

bowenw · Answer

That is terrible. I think you need to rethink your marriage.

Jupiter1 · Answer

What an asshole! How could you live with that liar? 🤥

nawtee_me · Answer

If your hudband speaks bad of you at any time you should divorce him and make him pay for it….

MaxUsefull · Answer

your husband is wrong, in the same way that you would be wrong if you did the same thing to him

Anonymous · Answer

Is he just venting his frustrations to others or is it malicious?

Booklover_90 · Answer

Your husband’s a jerk.

NathanDavis · Answer

you're married now? congratulations (=

DJB72 · Answer

Two faced should be a red flag

bananathunder · Answer

sounds like an asshole...

Staximus · Answer

Who is telling you this?

jahaims · Answer

He doesn't respect you and is manipulating you.

eagle1951 · Answer

sounds like what cheaters do

butterly248 · Answer

Talk to him

My husband treats me like a queen in my face but talks badly about me to others?

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Yeah, this is sad for sure, I would confront him.

My husband keeps belittling me?

My husband treats me like a queen in my face but talks badly about me to others?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Yeah, this is sad for sure, I would confront him.

My husband keeps belittling me?

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