My husband talks down to me and calls me names?

Question

I’m a stay at home mother for the last 15 years. My husband is the sole provider and I stay at home to take care of our six children. When he is angry at me for whatever reason, he calls me names. His favorite includes calling me a loser and telling me I’m going nowhere in life.

I have and care for his children. I save money by taking care of them because childcare for 6 children is not cheap. Plus they have had the benefit of having so much time with their mother versus being in daycare while we both work.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel pathetic. I feel every single word that he calls me. I know that I don’t have much without him at the moment and that he has the career because I chose to stay home and take care of our children. I’m completely lost right now. What should I do?

ThePolishKnight37 · Accepted Answer

You are a mazing in my eyes. Have you tried talking to him. About helping out with going to work. You would probably only break even if you use sitters so not a good plan , unless he will watch the kids a few hours a week. If not there are place to call for help. Plus you would qualify for government help. Have you looked into that even now. they have government daycare money and facilities. Also remember things are tough out there and he maybe under pressure at work, try talking first, if that does not work, try to find an escape plan sorry to say.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Accepted Answer

It's not right for him to talk down to you, all his kids are taken care of well
they get fed, bathed, clothed, he needs a wake-up call.. It's sad that when
a partner does these things to you... This is a tough situation cause he's
the sole provider but I know my Mother ( late) made my Father give her
his paycheck for groceries and I believe he paid the bills, house payment
I'm sorry your in this situation, too bad there wasn't a way out but your
husband is being totally wrong to you:) Best Wishes

pleasestopthis · Accepted Answer

It seems he needs to blow some steam and you're his kicking bag. You can choose to stay the same way or get a job and change things. A lot of assholes use their advantage of being the bread winner to do whatever they like. You're not a loser, you're not worthless, you chose to be a mother to your kids and that's a valuable thing, too bad your husband can't appreciate that.

Shellyworld · Accepted Answer

Discuss with him. If you can't find a solution, then divorce may lead to a better path

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Have you asked him if he would rather live separate from you?

elvitto · Answer

You, or somebody else, has to teach your husband how important it is what you do for him. He is very blind not appreciating what you do for the family. I am a man and I can tell you, what you do at home is as important as what he does at work. As you pointed out he has his carreer because you hold his back at home. You are a team, both cannot do the same things. I feel angry at your husband now.
On the other hand you should not neglect your beauty and your feminity. That will help him open his eyes. He cannot take for granted what you do.
He is a looser when he fails to make you happy.

God bless your family. You have given him a family. That is beautiful and worthy of endless appreciation.

My advice is:
Talk to your man, and make sure you are as beautiful as you can get.

Levin · Answer

I suppose, whether he's consciously aware of it or not, everything he says is designed to ruin your self esteem, as you feel worthless. I guess this is empowering for him. It sounds like you feel powerless.

What is the state of the relationship? Can it be salvaged? If so, you could at least communicate. But from the sounds of the things he's saying, I don't know how much someone who is abusive can actually reflect on their behaviour.

Is it possible to get out?

Anonymous · Answer

You have to learn to love yourself and be the one who defines who you are.

You are responsible for your emotions. Think of his insults as invitations to think badly of yourself, you do not have to accept them.

It sounds to me as though you are doing a fine job, 6 children is no fucking joke having one is 3 full time jobs.

Its so sad to see women giving themselves and their lives to men who aren't worthwhile.

Interstate · Answer

Get a lawyer and file for divorce. How he treats you affects the kids, and patterns repeat themselves!! Get yourself AND them out of the house now before he destroys them with his behavior towards you. If you can get to court with a divorce lawyer, your lawyer can use his abusive behavior to discredit him and you can get sole custody. YOU NEED TO DO THIS. 30-35 years of age with 6 kids? Holy crap!!!

picromenis644 · Answer

You have to do whats vest for you and your children to make sure your safe do you have any relatives if so maby you can dovorce his ass but he needs to he put in his place but if you do jus make sure you have a place to jus in case he gets petty and kicks you out

Supplychain · Answer

I don’t know if you’re telling the truth, but if you are, obviously he’s a piece of junk and you should leave his ass

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Sounds to me like he doesn't deserve you! Kinda like he feels trapped by you. Give him his freedom!! Tell him not to let the door hit him in the ass on the way out!!

LiamSawyer · Answer

This is not a topic for public conversation. I feel for you and would be willing to talk about on private message. Feel free to PM if you would like.

Leavesbound · Answer

You need to divorce him and demand child support and alimony.

jirwin7979 · Answer

im a guy and that to me sounds like its time for a new guy

Sam_The_Savage · Answer

When you give others more importance than yourself that's the time you lost respect in their eyes.

Anonymous · Answer

He has anger issues and probably feels bad about himself and his lifew. I am sorry that he is taking it out on you. We do that sometimes

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

I'm sure I could come up with some names for him...

legalboxers · Answer

have a bunch of guy friends or male friends who would volunteer just to kick his teeth him

Anonymous · Answer

He sounds like an ass ngl. Talk to him and tell him how you feel.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Start with why you are fighting in the first place? Do you know how much pressure your husband has on him?

prettyboy57886 · Answer

Maybe he is irritated to work alone

Tututwerl09 · Answer

Ew please leave him

Anonymous · Answer

I think you should have swallowed all six times.

My husband talks down to me and calls me names?

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