Is it okay to express your negative feelings to your partner everyday?

[Anonymous]

Hello !

Do you think it's too much if you feel the need to talk to your partner about something that hurts you?

What about if you need it often and they don't have the power to deal with it?

In this situation.. who needs to make the change?

I always talk to him what bothers me ( sometimes it's something about him) and I'm expecting him to comfort me.

When the topic is about him, he often gets defensive though, and I get that because it's a natural human reaction but I strongly feel the strong need for him to comfort me cuz only then I can feel better. The partner is the person we have most expectations from after all...

[StarWarGirl]

No, it's NOT OK. You need to understand it's normal to have problems in anyone's life. It's ok to share problems sometimes what actually is important to talk about but if you keep doing it on daily basis, he will lose interest in listening it. And so even when there would be something like serious problem he may ignore it thinking it's just your habit.

Other side, you must remember he is also a human being he is also going through his own life problems. And in that situation if you overburden him with your problems he will just feel irritated to be around you. So you must sort it out what's important to share what's not.

He is being defensive because he is irritated of your habits of complaining about each and every thing. But if this is his nature then he is wrong he should be listening you. Also as you are telling that you do complaint on daily basis, by that I feel like there is more chances that there is problem is in you that you always see and notice negative sides only because nobody in this world can do have this much complaint to do on the regular basis unless their perspective is itself towards negativity. Try to see positive sides also. And I have not seen how he defend himself so I can't judge that is is really being right about how he is defending or is he really being defensive wrongly? I can't trust your judgement as you have habit of seeing only negative sides of everything.

And lastly, it's wrong for you to have all expectations from your partner always in a relationship. Relationship is all about partnership. He isn't your Aladin to fulfill all your expectations but it's about sharing our responsibilities. It's about helping eachother to deal with each other's life struggle together.

I'm sorry if any of my words hurted your feelings but you need to realise some facts that only I have tried to do.

[ZamerZ]

Your partner isn't your mental health treatment facility. You need to stop with this. HE'S NOT YOUR THERAPIST. I've been in that situation and not only is it uncomfortable to have to deal with negativity everyday, it's also impossible to not be crushed by the weight overtime or to help you. You need a professional and stop draining your partner like a vampire.

Everyone needs to vent in a while and that's alright. But constantly trauma-dumping on your partner won't only drive them away, it will make them resent you. Nobody likes to be with someone who constantly drags them down, whether that is mood-wise or with accusations. I'm not saying that you shouldn't resolve conflicts when there's something that you need to talk to him about in your relationship, but unless you give more context, it sounds to me like you'd nit-pick every tiny thing and then expect him to console you.

That's not how this works. I suggest you work on not relying to your partner in order to feel better and more secure as a person. Go and look for a therapist, girl. There's clearly a huge pile of things that needs some work.

[boggboss]

Its fine to vent and tell your concerns to your partner when it gets to the point of them becoming your therapist u will end up doing damage to the relationship and driving them away

[boggboss]

In that case u need to learn to deal with some things yourself or get therapy

[jahaims]

If you are being hurt daily you are either a moron who is sensitive or have a partner that doesn't care about you.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Navigating the swirling waters of communication and feelings, love! 💘Expressing your feelings is key in a relationship, but it's like seasoning a dish - too much can be overwhelming. It's vital to create a healthy balance where sharing is about growth and support, not just venting. If it's a daily ritual to dwell on the negative, it might be time to sprinkle in some positive vibes. Remember, your partner is your cheerleader, not your therapist. If he's getting defensive, it might be the delivery rather than the message itself. Try wrapping those concerns with love and understanding. On the flip side, if the emotional backpack you're carrying is too heavy, seeking a professional's help can be enlightening. It's not about who needs to change but how both can evolve. Remember, it takes two to tango in the dance of love! 💃🕺

[Blue_Brady]

My friend did you just say everyday? That's not okay at all, who wants to hear negativity everyday, that's draining and emotionally taxing.

[Ms_Facesitter]

It's okay to let them know if there is something that needs to change, but if you're going to beat him down every day, why not just be single?

[NetherlandsNar]

It's okay IF your partner is OK with it. But it seems like he's had too much.

[In_Trance]

You can only do that for so long. Something's gotta give.

[Anonymous]

You can overwhelm a person when you make them your emotional dumping ground.