Search Results: how to know if he just wants a hook up

I told a guy friend that I've known for over 20 years that I liked him and how he makes me feel. He scares me, I trust him, he makes me nervous but yet calm and relaxed. He replied as it wasn't a bad thing but he didn't say anything more. We both are not ready for a relationship. We both need to work on ourselves after we both went through a hard breakup. We both have many things in common, likes, dislikes, trust, our children, priorities and so much more. We get each other. I felt a connection when we first kissed. I have never felt anything like this before with anyone I have ever been with. I told him so. We talked for 3 hours after this about anything and everything. In this conversation he warned me about getting rid of toxic people in my life. People who want to use me and only want me when they want something but when I need something. They aren't there. He said that he got rid of those people and his life is peaceful. He said I could still be friends but keep them at a distance and don't tell them everything. I asked if he was talking about a mutual person we both know. He neither denied or agreed. Yes we hooked up before this for almost 2 years and after this conversation.

A guy I work with that I have known for years and I have always had a playful relationship. We banter, joke and pick on each other during breaks. He and I started a casual fling with the understanding it wouldn't be a serious thing and that it had to end if feelings were attached. So, we go on this way for months, never hanging out outside of work except for hook ups. Feelings grow. He acts jealous when I talk to other guys, he goes out of his way to make me jealous. He lights up when I walk into a room, this warm, glowing smile on his face. He goes out of his way to look out for me, and a couple of times he says love you to me as we get off the phone, quietly like he wants to make sure I cannot hear. He goes through days where he burns super hot and cold, nervous and jittery around me. When I first say it back finally, he seems happy or giddy about it. I say it a few times, only as we get off the phone. The last time, he seems nervous, and does something to intentionally make me jealous afterwards. I get up the courage to ask him if it bothers him that I told him I love him. He asks me why, and when I won't tell him right away he says I shouldn't and flips it on me, saying what we have was supposed to be casual and why did I allow myself to catch feelings? He keeps asking why I love him but then apologizes and says I don't owe him an explanation. I finally ask him if he feels the same and he says no, that he's sorry he led me to believe he did.