I met this guy in my first year of college and we hooked up immediately. I liked him a lot but it was clear he wasn’t interested in commitment so I opted for friendship instead. While it was complicated, we became very close and spent a lot of time together. We were strictly platonic for about a year and a half, and this year our relationship became sexual again. We had a lot of disagreements and seemed to be incompatible. For some reason, we are unable to be apart for longer than two months without speaking. Whenever we see each other it’s like no time has passed. Everyone in my life says to get rid of him, but I know he has this affection for me despite not seeking commitment with me. How can a guy say you’re his best friend, that he has a unique relationship with you and the way he cares for you never changes whilst also being physically attracted to you not want to date you? Is it just a timing issue or should I actually end things with him forever? He is my friend after all, we have many mutual friends. Our Wires are quite crossed after all we’ve experienced together and how much we know each other. We’ve recently rekindled and I’m taking deliberate precautions not to see him too often or speak to him to often. He enjoys calling me, answers rapidly, and feels special because I call him pet names i call everyone else. It’s odd - he often alludes to the fact that I have qualities he likes in women but he consistently dates women that do not have these qualities and then complains to me about it, claiming he’d prefer to stay single when it really seems like he has monogamy issues. Are we really friends or in this weird permanent limbo? I’ve also known him for a while so I’m not at the point where I’m waiting around for him to date me or anything, I frequently see other people and am really focused on my career. It doesn’t affect my self esteem much - I’m just wondering what his deal is or if I’ll ever find out lol.
The weird in between of being friends and lovers - does it ever end?
