When You Start Dating Someone Do Not Assume These 4 Things

[soz11122]

1. You are the only person they're dating.

Dating multiple people at once is normal and helpful to figure out what you want. This might make the person uneasy, I know, but it's something that needs to be tolerated and accepted...

2. You'll be able to change their mind about what kind of relationship structure they want.

Let's say you're monogamous and they are poly, you shouldn't assume they'll fall for you and abandon their relationship desires. You can ask yourself if you're willing to change, if not just move on.

3. If they don't send a follow up text after the date, it means they don't like you.

Yes, a follow up text can be reassuring, but there might be many reasons why they might not send one and it doesn't have to mean anything when you don't receive it. Just relax, follow up with them later.

4. You're going to hook up.

Take the pressure off the date and just try to connect with them. Stop thinking what might happen physically. Are you having fun? Does it feel easy to connect? Worry about these things. The hook up will happen when it happens.

[Moose304]

I'm not going to agree or for that matter disagree. I have found it better in my life and have always advised when asked, to NEVER assume anything about someone. This is why courtships should take years and getting married before you reach the age of 25 is a bit silly. For some reason as I was writing this, I was reminded of a Reddit story where a man was married to a woman that had an affair early on and got an incurable STD. She stopped sleeping with him and it ended in a divorce. I know a guy something like this happened. She was infected with an incurable STD and did not tell the man. They dated for almost 3 years. She kept telling him she was a virgin and wanted to save it until they got married. Thankfully a close friend of hers had a bit too much to drink and let it slip. He ended the relationship that night! In today's world never assume anything be they male or female. As Ronald Reagan famously said, trust, BUT VERIFY!

[Anonymous]

Great take! 100% agree with all points. One think I've noticed personally is that when I was only dating one person at a time I'd put a lot more pressure on myself as to how it was going. Particularly if I was horny, I'd get really keyed up about whether or not we'd hook up on a given date or not. More often than not, that does NOT lead to a good vibe and therefore makes any progress less likely.

BUT, then I discovered if I had another date scheduled later that week, I'd be much more chill because I wouldn't have all my eggs in one basket. That would enable me to relax and go with the flow on any given date and THAT led to a GREAT vibe which actually meant that things were MORE likely to work out. The best place of all to be in, is one were you can just relax and be pretty pleased with the outcome no matter what.

[BlackBeauty90]

@sudeoz

1) That is only common in North America. You guys certainly lack in respectability for yourselves & towards other people. Go to other countries, except maybe the UK where sluttish behavior by men/women is also common, and you'd be looked upon in disgust. Even in Europe - such as France or Italy - locals would certainly look at you in disgust.

2) Why bother wasting your time on a man whore or a slut? They will never contribute anything of value to an actual relationship & are generally not worth 5 seconds of time.

3) Nah, just means they're trash trying to hook up with someone else.

4) Sluttish behavior

[14JDPO]

I'm North American, and I can't agree with you more.

[Vegasrunner]

@BlackBeauty90 These all seem like great tips and it's good to see women giving practical advise vs some of the delusion I see on here on a daily basis.

[BlackBeauty90]

@Vegasrunner What is "great tips". On how to be a whore?

[Vegasrunner]

@BlackBeauty90 I respect women's sexual freedom so I can't speak to your whore comment. But the author is speaking in reality which is something that you rarely see young women doing these days. What's the part that makes her a whore?

[BlackBeauty90]

@Vegasrunner ROFL. Did you not read & comprehend what I said simpleton? This behavior is typical in the Americas. You go to Europe or other countries & such behavior would be looked upon in disgust, as sluttish whoreish behavior suitable for prostitutes.

[Vegasrunner]

@BlackBeauty90 I can understand your emotional need to express your frustration but it doesn't have any relevance to my question. Reading may not be your strong point.

[purplepoppy]

Dating multiple people at once is definitely not normal. If you want to sleep around at least be honest and not lead guys on by making out your dating them.
If you date a guy you date him only. If it isn't working out then end it, don't add another guy like he's a spare tyre.

[PinkRose24]

I think she meant dating as in just going out with the guy and getting to know him... no kissing or sex involved.

[Guy13]

Can’t argue with this common sense approach….

[integrale77]

Here's where I am on them points: -

1) I'd expect the other person to be up front about this but if things have gotten intimate I'd expect the the respect of some dedication the same as I would show her. After all unless it was first agreed I wouldn't expect they where taking things serious if they where sleeping with others too.

2) relationship type would be something established early on and if things are going to continue we are both happy with our choices.

3) text, WhatsApp or other messenger service/phone call contact is going to happen after meeting up time between saying goodbye and contact there is no hard and fast rule but hours shouldn't turn into days/weeks if things are going to continue.

4) it should never be assumed people are going to hook up but no harm being prepared

[QuadDamage]

Dating multiple people at the same time? 🤔

Jeez the kids these days have multitasking skills to pay em bills man!

Because I could've sworn when I was young, managing one person at a time was enough. And I have ADHD 😂

You either in the game or you're not, you cannot have 5 games at the same time and then choose what ever chess board you prefer because you're winning it. That's really low committing and not very sincere in my book.

But I'm old fashion 👍

[lilyanony1]

I'm like you.

[FilmGuy93]

I generally agree with this take. Casually dating multiple people at once is definitely not as normal as society would have you believe though. In my observation, the more common situation is that people will have multiple flirty/quasi-romantic friendships, but it’s not really “dating” per se.

[YourFavoriteFriend]

1. It doesn't help to "figure out what you want". Stop the cap. People just want to have more options and it makes absolute sense. I don't do it and hope the girl I'm dating won't but in any case stop trying to say it for something else than it is.

3. I don't agree

4. A lot of people may just hookup and never meet up again. Are they may have sex and continue. It isn't so rare as you think.

[ArtemisSilver]

I don't care if a particular woman decides she's not interested because there's a lineup and some of them are probably smart enough to see me for who I am and want to be a part of what I'm doing.

If it's just a get a to know you date then obviously you have other guys interested, if you tell me you want anything major, sex, resources, lots of my time then those other guys are gone or I'm out.

I'm the prize figure it out or take a hike lol

[anon1903]

Good advice! You'd think it's obvious but apparently many people draw random assumptions. The second one is the most annoying. Takes Aladdin's "I can show you a whole new world" to a whole different level.

[tonamimargaux]

I don’t understand how people can multitask. Multiple dating is just not my thing I like to focus on one person at a time.

[Anonymous]

Don't expect that they heterosexual either. Gay girls get with guys alll the time, even the homosexual girl uses a Dildo. She's not against penetrative sex, she just hates men. She will turn out the bedroom lights and pretend she is with a girl.

You're Just a Dildo in the dark to her.

P. S. She will want you to clean off your body hair first.

[Noahzaid]

This post is a mirror to how disgusting and open minded you are.

open minded isn’t a compliment by the way.

your mind is just wide open for any feces to come in.

[Noahzaid]

Poly my ass

[CA4444]

Mmh Im pretty sure I would only start dating if they are single, wtf

[aaron210419]

Dating multiple people at once is not normal nor should you tolerate it unless it's agreed upon by all parties involved.

[Rockstarrrrr]

All fair except the first one... Quite the opposite

[AdithyaR]

The only assumption I'd go in with is that they're not gonna like what they see 🤣

[Anonymous]

3 and 4 are helpful, non-banal, not-enough-made, points, actually.

[Marklaw12]

Yeah, a fish doesn't tell a Fisher man how to catch them. A Fisherman knows how to catch a fish.

[amrutha_prekshan]

I'mma not going to agree with it... I'll disagree with it... for a reason

[Andres77]

These are pretty good guidelines.