Search Results: break up is out of your control

So, I'm quite sensitive when it comes to touch & my boyfriend of more than 2 years is more on the other end of the spectrum. When he's sober, we arrange this well & are both happy, except for the occasional reminder for him to not break my neck when bear hugging me.

I want to clarify, he is a very kind soul, just clumsy, so it's always good intentions from him! But sometimes he accidently hurts me, which annoys me if it's too frequent & that's case when he's drunk. The more drunk/drugged, the worse it gets, as you simply loose control over your body. He tries super hard to give me my space & be veeery careful touching me then, but it's just not working. I'm kind of conditioned at this point that when he comes close to me drunk, he'll likely step on my foot/squeeze me too hard/poke his nose in my eye/get his fingers stuck in my hair, so I tense up as soon as he comes near me in that state. The worst part is that he's especially vulnerable & affectionate when drunk, but I just have to defend my space & tell him off & he can tell I'm not fond of him, which hurts him a lot.

I tried to avoid his drunk/drugged persona (he knows all of this, we communicate about it), but I also don't wanna miss all fun evenings with our friends. Moreover, it's a part of him (which he does not want to give up in this part of his life) and so I sometimes want to be with him in that state too. But it often ends in him being hurt & in a bad mood the next day, trying to recover from the rejections of the previous night and then he's the one needing his space, so I can't hug or kiss him to show him affection then, or to say sorry.

I know the most obvious solution is for me to avoid him in that state. But I wonder if anyone else made such experiences & whether you think this makes us a bad match/myself kind of a bad girlfriend, at least for him, that I can't deal with this? It hurts me a lot to hurt him and I hate myself in those moments for being so mean, I just don't know another way.

My boyfriend and I have always gone to the gym together but within the past year, his “boys” have been tagging along as well. I didn’t mind it at first but now it’s getting exhausting… they talk so loud (even with noise cancelling headphones on I can still hear them), take up the entire gym, always taking pictures, take 10-15 mins breaks between sets, etc.

I mean I love them, they’re all super chill, but seeing them 4-5x a week at the gym where it used to be my place for “escape” is starting to burn me out. I’ve asked my boyfriend if we can just work out where it’s just the two of us but he said it’s a public gym and he can’t control when they’re gonna come (but then he always tells them the time and day of when he’s gonna be at the gym… he even invited more of his friends to work out together at the same gym, at the same time… it’s now a group of 6-7 boys + my boyfriend). I would love to hang out with them outside of the gym, but the gym should be a place to work out not to hang out right?

I offered to go to the gym separately so I can enjoy some quiet gym time but my boyfriend insisted that we go together. I’ve had stalkers at the gym in the past and my bf’s now a bit paranoid which is why we always go together. But it’s driving me nuts… I just want some peace and quiet… I feel bad for feeling this way, but I can’t stand it anymore :(

P. S. I’m also an introvert so hanging out with loud extroverted people 4-5x a week drains me lol