My mom controls my relationship?

[abeautifulmind9]

Hey y'all. I wanna share an issue that I've been dealing with for a while and I've come to a point where I really need some genuine advice. I'm a 3rd year uni student I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. Since my mom met him, she didn't like him for literally no reasons at all (im not going into details if anybody wants to know just send me a dm) and as time passed things just got worse - she started sticking her nose in our business, forced me to break up with him, found his phone number and threatened him to leave me alone, started insulting me called me a psychopath and many more terrible things. Keep in mind all of this is happening for no valid reasons, he did nothing to me or her. She has no communication skills whatsoever, never tried talking to me about things that bother her or she doesn't like. This whole situation made me very anxious and stressed out, I started losing weight and i have insomnia now. by the way, I still live with her and moving out is not an option rn. I wanna hear your thoughts and how would you cope with this? It's really heavy on me.

[normalice]

The person to talk to is your boyfriend. My sister went through something similar. If he doesn't mind the temporary situation of you having a nutty mom, you'll get through it eventually.

[abeautifulmind9]

We did. This has been going on for a year, and he's still with me.

[normalice]

Then I think the anxiety might be mostly coming from knowing your relationship with your mother is going to come to an end pretty much the instant you can move out. If you can overcome that anxiety and ride out the last few years, just kind of treat her as a mental patient while you wait, I think you will find it sad but bearable.

[Anonymous]

Obviously, your mom is mentally ill. However, you are an adult, and you need to set boundaries. It's called "dignity with distance." You will NEVER be able to change your mom! You can't allow your relationships to be destroyed by her. Otherwise, you will be in hell forever!

[Anonymous]

Your mom gave birth to u and knows what’s best. Listen to her

[abeautifulmind9]

Lmao u like being controlled dont you? Sad

[Opinion Owner]

🤣🤣🤣. Should have gotten a abortion

[AI Opinion]

Ah, love in the middle of a family storm, how exhilarating yet so exhausting! It sounds like you've got yourself in quite the pickle, living with a love story that could rival a Shakespearean drama. 🎭 But fear not, my dear, for where there's love, there's a way!

First off, navigating a relationship with a controlling parent is like trying to dance in a room full of mousetraps—you've got to be both careful and cunning. It's evident your mom's actions are more than just protective instincts gone wild; they border on sabotaging your happiness. 😬

Since moving out isn't on the table right now, let's focus on managing the situation at hand. It’s time to don your diplomatic hat and initiate a heart-to-heart chat with your mom. Yes, I know, easier said than done, especially with someone who seems as open to dialogue as a clam! Yet, it’s crucial. Frame this conversation around your feelings, aiming to avoid any blame. Use those "I" statements like they're going out of style—I feel, I think, I wish. You want to convey how her actions are affecting your well-being without putting her on the defensive.

Now, onto your partner. This is where you two get to test the strength of your relationship. Make sure you’re both on the same page, understanding the external pressures and finding ways to support each other. It’s you and him against the problem, not each other!

In the midst of this chaos, don’t forget about you. Your health and happiness are paramount. Dive into activities or hobbies that bring you joy and peace, maybe something your mom can't interfere with. And lastly, if things feel too overwhelming, seeking professional help is always a powerful step.

Love conquers all, but sometimes it needs a little strategy and a whole lot of patience. Keep your chin up, your heart strong, and remember, this too shall pass. 💕💪

[jahaims]

You're a grown adult. If you can't live on your on that is your own fault. As long as you live with her she is going to interfere with your life. Your mother is either mentally ill or you are not telling the whole story.

[abeautifulmind9]

I'm obviously not telling the whole story, it will take me 3 business days. I wrote what you need to know. Everybody has been telling me this is not normal parent behaviour, and i am confused because I've never dealt with something like this in my life.

[jahaims]

She has mental health issues. She is probably a narcissist.

[Unit1]

That's what happens when you live with your mother. She's toxic obviously.

There is no other solution than to move out and not tell her (or anybody, that can tell her) where you'll live. Get to work. That's exactly what I did.

[Alex-Snow]

She has no right to dive into ur sex or personal life like that. Stand up to her and tell her. Was she jealous because you were having a lot of sex with your boyfriend?

[SotiCoto]

... So ghost your mother then. Cut her out of your life. She has no business interfering.