Relationships
1 mo

When You’re Doing The Most

DizzyDesii

How would YOU define or differentiate between these five words— territorial, jealous, possessive, clingy, overprotective?

  • Would you consider some, none, or all of the above to be a toxic trait?
  • Have you or someone you were in a relationship with ever possessed one of these traits?
When You’re Doing The Most
When You’re Doing The Most

There really is no wrong answer since my good may be your bad, but when you define these words in the opinion section below, please do not provide some textbook definition. I want to know how you’d define each. I also want to know if you consider them a negative or positive trait to have in yourself or a partner.

  • I personally see territorial as a good trait in comparison to the others. To me, it oddly shows a form of care.
  • I don’t like to be clingy but I’m not against a partner wanting to be around me more. It’s just physically it can get a bit suffocating if there's constant hugs and cuddles.
  • A little jealousy is okay. I don’t consider it as much of an insecurity as others but at an extreme, it can become a tad creepy…
  • It can become creepy like someone possessive saying “If I can’t have you, no one can.” Thats when I’d start to feel trapped in the relationship.
  • I see overprotective as a good way of defending your partner, but it can become a bit much as well because some people begin to think/act for their partner almost as if they are trying to save someone from themselves.

THE TERRITORIAL PARTNER

It doesn’t have to be a pissing contest
It doesn’t have to be a pissing contest
Just kindly step in
Just kindly step in
And appear more confident than insecure
And appear more confident than insecure

When I think of territorial, I think of a confident and courageous significant other walking forth and standing in between their partner and someone who is trying to make a move on them. The territorial partner kindly asks the other person to back off. Some people become too territorial and it gets to the extreme of becoming clingy or possessive.

The one time I did not find a territorial partner attractive was when one guy constantly said “You’re mine” and he eventually asked if I’d ever be into golden showers… That brings me back to the dog gif above.

THE CLINGY PARTNER

Don’t Be a Stage 5 Clinger
Don’t Be a Stage 5 Clinger
Don’t Be a Stage 5 Clinger
Don’t Be a Stage 5 Clinger
Don’t Be a Stage 5 Clinger
Don’t Be a Stage 5 Clinger
When You’re Doing The Most


When I think of clingy, I think of an overly loving SO who is still in the honeymoon stage and doesn’t want to spend a minute apart.

Notice I said still in the honeymoon stage lol… I don’t think the clinginess lasts too long unless you’re dating someone too dependent or a stalker. The extreme of being too clingy would probably make me consider the person to be possessive.

This one ex became very clingy when he was suffering insecurity, self esteem and abandonment issues. He kept asking if I still loved him, if I’d ever leave him, and so on. He went so far as to try to forge my signature on a lease so that I’d move in with him.

THE JEALOUS PARTNER

When You’re Doing The Most
When You’re Doing The Most
When You’re Doing The Most


When I think of jealous, I think of an impatient SO having to standby and watch a dance instructor teach their partner how to salsa and they don’t like how handsy the other person gets. So they are tempted to step in and break things up… but they just sit back and watch annoyingly.

In my opinion, when the jealousy gets out of hand, it could also become a more extreme version of being territorial. Plus there appears to be a lack of communication in the relationship because the jealous partner often bottles up their feelings inside.

THE OVERPROTECTIVE PARTNER

When You’re Doing The Most
When You’re Doing The Most
When You’re Doing The Most
When You’re Doing The Most
When You’re Doing The Most

When I think of overprotective, I think of helicopter moms or a SO who feels their partner hasn’t shown that they are mentally/physically strong in certain departments. So the SO constantly interferes in an almost predictive combat type of way. Some may consider it controlling but I think It’s more about being so paranoid that your significant other can’t handle things themselves so you tend to step up/overstep.

My boyfriend and I sadly do this to each other. I think he is mentally stronger in terms of intelligence/street smarts and he thinks I am physically stronger. You can tell at times we have no faith in each other’s capabilities, because he’ll try to answer something for me as if he doubts that I’ll answer wisely. Or like I’ll be ready to physically defend him against any man or woman because I know he’s a bit submissive, doesn’t like confrontation, and can’t fight. It would be nice if this trait was just a way to balance each other out but it can definitely be seen as a negative if one interferes too much.

THE POSSESSIVE PARTNER

When You’re Doing The Most
When You’re Doing The Most
When You’re Doing The Most

When I think of possessive, I think of a SO who doesn’t want their partner leaving the house because they fear another will step in and replace them. I consider possessive to be the worst and a great mix of extremes of the other four words above. Its super toxic and perhaps even violent.

One of my exes was ready to fight a guy who kindly held the door open for me. The way he ran over and snatched the door from the guy and was like “She doesn’t need you holding the door for her, thats what I’m here for.” And then he jumped at the guy. I had to hold him back. It was pretty uncalled for and a major turnoff.

#FeelFreeToList

When You’re Doing The Most
Post Opinion
26 Opinion