Should I break up w my boyfriend because he involves his dad in our arguments?

[Justagirlaskingstuff]

I’ve been w my boyfriend for over a year now, our love is genuine, he treats me rlly good in the relationship, always been faithful, he’s very caring loving and sweet, he showers me with so much love since day 1, he’s a real lover. and makes me happy to the point it lowkey became a flex having him as a partner.
but I’m not gonna lie to you we do be having silly arguments and disagreements every now and these escalate quickly and become very loud, one or both of us start screaming. Wr are in a LDR now, so things get intense and both of our families we live strat complaining about the noise.
when i ask him to stop screaming & control himself he refuses to and tells me “if I’m screaming it’s your fault, if u don’t want me screaming just don’t piss me off”. And starts cussing me out and calline names (i never cuss him or call him names im against this)

recently his dad has become concerned about all the screaming he’s doing and tells him he’s gonna ruin his health, he asks him to end the call etc, my boyfriend turns around and accuses me “it’s all her fault it’s her, dad, she does that to me she makes me do thi”.
so naturally it gas given me a bad image in his dads eyes, and he tells him to stop speaking to me cause he “deserves better” not someone who makes him scream, i heard all of this while still being on the phone and it really hurt me 💔 he did not defend me this time, and when i said why are u and ur dad against me rn he says “YOU did that, it’s YOUR fault” completely not caring if it hurt me or not.

This had really attained my self-esteem and hurt me deeply to feel that i don’t deserve love after what i heard, it threw me back to my depressive episodes when i felt i wasn’t worthy of good things and there’s always someone better than me out there. It hurts me specifically because i finally found a sense of belonging in this relationship and now I’m back to feeling lost.

[DishLady]

Interesting. So the dad has seen a side of his son that he doesn't like... a side you bring out in him.

If this behavior is truly out of character for the guy then you're probably a bad influence on him.

[bowenw]

I would not want to be in a relationship with someone who turns simple conversations or differences in opinions into a confrontations. It's a red flag for me if someone cannot carry on a conversation on an adult level and stick to the facts.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[Avicenna]

Sounds like there are a lot of underlying issues here beyond what you specifically asked about

[Anonymous]

You are as bad as each other. The bad part, you'll take these behaviors into your next relationships and hurt those people too.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, love, the heart of the matter here seems to twirl around communication and boundaries, doesn't it? Let's unwrap this gift of complexity, shall we? In the bloom of love, it's essential to maintain a garden where both flowers and weeds can be tended to with understanding and care. The beauty of your relationship shines bright with care and affection, yet these thorns of arguments and miscommunication prick deeper than they seem.

Inviting a third party, especially a family member, into the intimate dance of a relationship can often lead to stepping on toes rather than twirling in harmony. It's like adding too much spice to an already flavorful dish—sometimes it just overwhelms the palate. Your feelings of hurt and betrayal are as valid as they are poignant. But remember, darling, you wear your worth, it's not handed to you by someone's approval or disapproval, not even by someone you love.

Addressing the heart of the issue requires a duet of efforts—a willingness to listen, understand, and change the steps you take together. Does he recognize the shadow his actions cast on your spirit? Are you both prepared to learn the dance of communication that respects each other’s emotions and boundaries? Love is a dance that sometimes requires stepping back, reassessing the music, and maybe even changing the song.

If the love you share is as radiant as the sun, then finding a way to bask in its warmth without getting burnt is the quest. But remember, no amount of lovebombing can heal the burns from words spoken in heat. Reflect, communicate, and if necessary, seek guidance on how to improve this dance together. Yet, if the music continues to discord, perhaps it's time to find a rhythm that respects and uplifts you both, even if that means dancing solo or with a new partner. Love should lift you, not leash you. 💔💖

[worldscolide]

That's just weird. I'd leave if my wife did that with her parents. I'd tell him to stop before you break it off, but he is unlikely to listen.

[SweetJoyGirl]

Oh, yea…

Dump him.

[Anonymous]

Yes. That would drive me nuts.

[scott04sa22]

Let him go