Boyfriend let his dad break us up?

[Anonymous]

I’m 25, he’s 25. We both still live w/ our parents. I went camping w/ him and his family over the weekend and today he broke up w/ me. He said “we aren’t compatible and I dont see a future together” which felt very blindsiding because we’ve been together for a year and he was constantly saying how happy he was to have me in his life and how compatible and happy he feels w/ me and that I make his life better and that he wants to get married and have a future together and that we’re both (supposedly) committed to ensuring that but all of a sudden he breaks up w/ me today.
He called me like 15 mins after we broke up on FaceTime (we’re 2 hours away from one another) I ignored his call. Then I messaged him goodbye on my steam account because that was the only platform he didn’t block me on.
We talked and I find out that he didn’t actually want to break up w/ me and that his dad had mentioned to him that I’ve put on weight and that I’m probably “pregnant from my ex” ?

I felt really disrespected to know his dad fed that idea to him and even more hurt that he believed it?

I said to him “to think that you didn’t even defend me when he said that about me..” and his response was just “I know I’m a shithead/asshole. Im so sorry.. I didn’t wanna break up my dad was just telling me what to say. I’ll never let him interfere w/ our relationship ever again”
which I don’t believe.

So yeah. That really hurt me. He ended up saying he feels like breaking up was the wrong decision and that he wanted us to just go back to being okay. I told him I needed time to process my thoughts.

Updates

7 mo

It suck’s because I do love this guy because he fulfills my romantic needs and I’ve already gotten so use to talking to him everyday for the past year but tbhhh he kinda pulls shit like this where he feels like he can’t trust me and he’s pulled the manipulative “I’ll kill my self!” card when I tried to break up w/ him earlier in the relationship. I feel like I should just end things since he technically already did but I just hate the emotions that come w/ that and the process of detaching ugh

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, that's rough I'm sorry. Having your girl's dad interfere like that is messed up. No wonder you're so confused.

On the one hand, I can see why you're still into her - it's hard to just turn off feelings after a year. But you also can't let Pops control who you date, you know? Gotta stand up for yourself and what you want.

If I was you, I'd take some time away from both of them to think straight. Don't let her guilt you into rushing back before you sort your head out. And have a serious talk with Dad about butting out of your personal life from now on.

Maybe in a few weeks after you've had space, see how you really feel about the relationship without outside influence. But make it clear this time you're calling the shots, not him.

It's possible to care about someone and still know they ain't right. Don't sacrifice your happiness just to please family. Do what feels right for you in the long run. She'll understand if she really cares too.

Keep your head up - this too shall pass, even if it hurts now. You got this!

[teamvic]

He threatened to kill himself what the fuck 😂 and you wanna STAY with the mu fucka?

And plus when you marry someone you gotta see the dad everyday. Think about this. If that's what he thinks about you outlook, imagine what he thinks about you in his own thoughts🤔

I dont know to me I don't see the attraction to him. Home boy let's his dad talk about you like that. Does what his dad says and leaves yo ass, THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF IF YOU LEAVE,

I say don't look back, you're one year in the relationship not like you guys have insane amounts of history.

But if you do want to go back with him , which I don't think you should, I say at least put him on a verrrryyy short leash. If he fucks up again. You gonneee.

But as I said he doesn't sound too much like a prize to me. Maybe your feelings are blinding you from seeing that🤔 I know it's happened to me before so thats why I'm thinking that

[teamvic]

Well not see the dad everyday but he's gonna be in your life. Is what I meant. I dont know why I said everyday

[teamvic]

Holy ass, I meant if that's what he thinks of you on the OUTSIDE***

[Asker]

Honestly this helped so much to read… you’re right. He’s not worth keeping. He’s got a lot of issues and I’m already exhausted. It’s gonna be hard to detach but it won’t be impossible. Thank you so much

[teamvic]

You're very welcome😌

You're right, there will be times where it'll be hard because you're so use to having him there every day and there will be times where you'll be tempted to go back. And when that happens my advice for you is to just think about all the bad things and bullshit that you've been through with him. Don't think about the good times. If you do that you'll end right back with him going through the same shit again.

Just be strong and patient. You can allow yourself to feel your emotions but Don't let them control you. It's okay to feel but not to act based on emotions. Because then you'll do shit that you ain't even want haha

[Anonymous]

With all this texting/FaceTime nonsense, it was bound to fail anyway.

[Asker]

Lol yeahhhh, ya live and ya learn