Boyfriend broke up with me because of his parents divorce?

My boyfriend and I have been on and off for 5 years. recently we have been on for 2 years with a 15 day break up in the middle? Anyways 3 weeks ago his parents got their 2nd divorce from each other. I was at college (he's a HS senior) and I tried my best to listen and do what I could. The weekend of the split he came to visit and we were so happy and had so much fun and were so in love. The beginning of this week he was very tense and snappy and everything little thing i did was wrong. (liking a guy friends status on FB, I posted a picture with my friends and we were wearing bikinis). And he was just mad and he said he wanted to spend a day or two to himself. Well yesterday I came home from college for the summer and he called and he asked me to meet him at our local McDonalds and I said ok. We sat in his car for 2 hours and he was just pouring out to me all his feelings about his parents and I listened intently and commented when needed. All the while he couldn't look me in the eye when he talked. At the end he looked at his hands and told me that we should break up and he feels that we are "one sided" because he spends so much money coming to see me. (my college is 36 minuted to an hour away). then he said“you’re beautiful and i love you but i don’t even think i know what commitment or love is anymore and i wanna just be friends”. We have gone off before and the longest we were ever apart was 90 days. Should I wait and see if he comes around or are we broken up for good?(I'm currently doing the whole "No contact" thing)

Updates:
He called me today and asked me to try again and that he was wrong for what he did and he loves me

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd say just do what you're doing for now. He's going through a lot of shit. One of the most influential and important relationships in his life just imploded, so he's bound to feel pretty at odds with any kind of commitment to anyone.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Thanks for MH

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    • He's all outta whack right now. It's a fucked up time in life when your parents split. Mine just did a couple years back after being married for 20 years. Saw it coming since I was little though, so wasn't much of a big. Still though, had an effect.

    • this is their second divorce. once when he was 5 and got back when he was 12 and now he's 17 about to be 18. i feel really bad and want to help bc I wasn't so available while i was at school. and when he came to visit he was just talking about how much he loved me and how i was his forever. i just wanna help him and not see him suffer so much ya know?

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'd give him a bit of time... He's in a real hard spot right now. maybe when he starts to recover he'll be able to think over things better. Its possible that he might really need you to get through things and to help him :-/

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    • should I contact him to see if he's okay? if so when? We have talked in 2 days

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    • how do i do that?

    • Maybe just ask him "How are you doing? I'm worried about you." or something like that.

What Girls Said 2

  • He's apparently not taking it well and it could just be am emotional overreaction.. Just be that friend, and a good one. Keep caring and show him regardless.

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    • but should I contact him?

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    • He was kinda vague. We were best friends before we were together and It just seems surreal that he's "not in my life" anymore? but he wasn't clear on anything really, technically not even why he wanted to break up

    • Yeah just stay a friend,, just not an overbearing one

  • Sometimes one thinks that he knows his significant other 100% .. in tense situations, we tende to feel like strangers. You love him, you can't help him besides he is getting away from you. That what make you helpless. Rethink it again, he sees his parent falling apart, maybe he is wondering so what's the point of any commitment if in the end we break each others hearts. So he thought that he may hurt you and as said : "prevention is better than cure". But to you, you love him, and will do everything to keep him right? He is just confused and needs time. Be that caring one and give him what he needs. He will feel the need of you. Believe me. Guys are predictable creatures. Eventhough I know my bf better than himself, and how much I mean to him I feel the same panic every time we "break up". Still quiet and love him unconditionally until he realizes that in reality we get as much love as we give and every relationship is in our own hands. Wish you the best.

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