My boyfriend and I had a huge argument about his mother and he broke up with me?

[GipsyGirl]

My boyfriend has been financially taking care of his lazy mother since before I met him. He has two older brothers & neither of them wants to deal with their mother. I never understood why until I witnessed it myself. When i first started dating my boyfriend his mom was living with him. Once I became pregnant which was almost 2yrs into our relationship him and moved into a new apartment and of course he moved his mom into a unit in the same building. A almost tragic event happened that led to us relocating abruptly. Sidenote (Not only was he paying our rent but he was paying his mom rent as well, he’ll tell her to save portion of a check in case of emergency) at the time I wasn’t working because of the pregnancy. When he asked his mom for the money she was suppose to be saving she didn’t have it. 3yrs later & we’re back at square one. She’s staying with us & she is extremely OVERBEARING and don’t know or have any boundaries. I’ve expressed my frustration with my boyfriend but of course he’s used to her behavior & in a way enable & pacify the behavior. To the point now there’s tension in the house & it’s like I don’t have to deal with this. I told him i was going ti visit my family for a while to reset from this environment & how I didn’t think that when i started my own family I’ll be living with my in laws. he went off on me staying i was selfish & disrespectful pretty much taking up for his mom. The one that caused him the most bell during his entire life, she constantly chose men over him & gave him up. So it’s like you basically choosing your mom over my and your daughter. He also say I showed my trust colors how that was foul of me to say bc he said where am i going to put my mom where is going to go in a shelter” then told me that’s he’s disgusted & told me to go back home & stay there. I’m heart broken & in disbelief of his actions & choices. When i got back home i called him and it went straight to voicemail like he blocked me

[Guy13]

If you guys are 30 years old then this is craziness.

[GipsyGirl]

I’m 30 he’s 28 and his mother has been a problem even before me. Which frustrates me because he still doesn’t get it. This is why his two older brother don’t deal with her and repeatedly told him that she’s going to run you dry. What hurts most is him choosing her over me and his 1year old daughter

[BButterfly]

A woman should never compare herself to a man’s mom and play the card of either me or your mom because she’s gonna lose. No matter how much a man would love you when it comes to his family (mom) regardless of her actions, treatment, life style he would always choose her first which is natural. Think of what you really want and both of your actions, sit together if possible and talk it out honestly. If you guys choose to get back together then never interfere between him and his mom and instead focus on yourself, your daughter and your life.

[XHopelessRomanticX]

What’s his reasoning behind taking care of his mother? Is she sick and dying? Is she incapable of taking care of herself? Is it a cultural thing?

[GipsyGirl]

He has been taking care of her before i met him, it even was a problem in his last relationship which is wild that he doesn’t see a pattern. His reasoning of financially taking care of her was that she has no sense. Which is false because she’s very capable of doing things and she has no problem being nasty and sarcastic. He was the only one who got caught up in her trap. His older siblings been washed their hands with them moved out the state and living life with their family, his mother own siblings don’t even want anything to do with her

[Paul09]

I'm not sure what to say. That's horrible. You picked a idiot. And what's with people having kids after such a short time together? This is all messed up to me. He thinks he can change her, wants to change her or something. But he sounds just as crazy as his useless mother. Normally I'd say that's nice and sweet. But this story is so odd and the opposite of that.

[GipsyGirl]

It’s very odd and what’s even more odd is he very aware of his mother’s actions. Everywhere she’s lived/rented from she was out of because of her mouth & he not knowing boundaries. He even didn’t want her living with us, but somehow she’s there. His other brother’s warned him but he didn’t listen. His brothers didn’t want her around their families and now I understand why. It’s the fact he really decided to switch it on ME as if I’m the problem when he knows it’s his mother and to the point of a break up is what hurts the most

[Paul09]

Imagine his own mom ruining his life, and he doesn't know it? Is he brainwashed? Does he think he can change her? Does she have something on him? It is not making any sense. I'm sorry you are in this stupid situation.

[Gloree]

guys who always carry family problems on their head end up being bad partners. so I've noticed. they focus on their mum and dad and siblings and ruin their own relationships. I understand how u feel. I will say you should move on. he is toxic. he should pay child support. then you move on to a better life. either that or give him space. he will reason things out and make a decision. just ensure you're taking care of yourself.

[GipsyGirl]

I’ve tried every way to communicate to him that eventually it’s going to cause a problem between him and I. He insisted that it wasn’t and that i need to just ignore her like he does

[Truth0225]

What I feel is this, as soon as a man gets married and has a child, that woman and that child becomes his first priority over anything and anyone. So it’s very shitty of him to choose his mother over his wife and child.

[GipsyGirl]

I agreed with this wholeheartedly

[Truth0225]

That honestly shows his true colors, not yours

[GipsyGirl]

Exactly that’s what hurts because he tried to flip everything on me as if i was the one that was in wrong, and then to break up and block me smh

[Truth0225]

Well he is the one who lost because he chose his dysfunctional mother over his wife and kid. If I were you, I’d divorce him, and find someone who will accept you and your kid and be a grown man, not some little boy still sucking his mothers tit.

[GipsyGirl]

Thank you reading these opinions makes me feel a little better because here I am second guessing if I was wrong based of his reaction

[Truth0225]

You’re not wrong. And you can message me anytime if u wanna talk

[GipsyGirl]

Don’t say that you’ll get sick of me lol because i really can’t wrap my head around all of this smh

[Truth0225]

Lol I won’t get sick of you. Message me

[GipsyGirl]

Apparently I’m not cool enough to message you lol

[Truth0225]

Lol follow me and I’ll message u

[Truth0225]

It’s not letting me message, try messaging me again

[Dkc123]

The boyfriend/The son is the victim here.

I'm glad that you both seperated and I hope he finds a nany or a shelter for his mother so she can no longer need him.

And so he can go his own way and focus 9n his own happiness 🤣

[GipsyGirl]

How is he the victim?

[Dkc123]

He was stuck in between you two for providing and protecting And now he's free from u.. i hope! And gets freed from his mother..

[SexyRedd1966]

This is a tough one because if my parents needed somewhere to go I would always let them stay with me just like my door is always open to my children... I don't know 🤷🏿‍♀️

[spartan55]

He let you know where you stand in his life. Were you listening?

[GipsyGirl]

That’s what I took it as, hence the fact I said he choose his mother over me and his child

[spartan55]

Absolutely, so what's your next move?

[GipsyGirl]

I haven’t reached back out, and he hasn’t said anything else to me. Im just heart broken and emotional but trying to remain strong for the sake of myself and child.

[Anonymous]

Good riddance, should have seen it coming since she was a problem even while you were dating. It would have never gotten better. Go find somebody that's not a mama's boy.

[boggboss]

Not really sure what to say u essently told him to pick and he did 😅

[Hardworkingguy]

Well I have to say that I agree with you breaking up with him was the best decision. This guy needs to make changes in his life away from you

[GipsyGirl]

He broke up with me smh

[Hardworkingguy]

Well it doesn't really matter who broke up with who the important thing is that that particular relationship didn't seem to be going anywhere good for you

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

I don't know why he didn't just kick her out. My dad would kick me out if I wasn't paying rent.
I'm sorry he broke up with you

[PraviteliNahuiValite]

Is this a money problem?

[GipsyGirl]

Money problem on whom behalf? If you’re saying as far as his mom, she gets a check but spends it dumb stuff where her check can be used for rent that she can afford. It’s the fact she’s so used to falling back on him as if she’s his child