We were together for about 4 months. Seeing each other often very early on he told me he wanted me to be his girlfriend and took every first step. It’s rare for me to connect with someone. I was so happy. I’m 27 and he’s 36. He always expressed to me how he felt so comfortable with me and loved our chemistry. He was always super invested in my job and what I was doing everyday. He was also happy that I took such an interest in his work/hobbies. From beginning he told me his mother was terminal and I felt so bad and let him know I’m here for support. He didn’t discuss it more but occasionally I asked how are things and he always said she’s hanging in there. I saw him about a week ago when I slept over and he made the comment that if I ever wanted to end things and just be friends he’d be upset but he’d do it. This last week, He’s had more work and I didn’t mind this at all I told him it’s fine just lmk. We were meant to see each other Sunday for lunch and he was texting me as usual like everything was fine. He then told me that he feels with this extra work he’s not respecting my time and emotional investment and struggling to be a partner. I told him you can call me if you’d like and he did. He sounded so normal almost forced and said with more work & his mother taking a turn, he’s going to fly back to Indiana to take care of her till her end and I deserve someone who’s going to be present and take care of me. I was in total shock because he hasn’t spoke about any of this and I was in his bed a few days prior. I realized he made up his mind and I expressed tragedies like this are horrible but that’s when people who care support and I’d stick it out. He asked if he could reach out when he’s back. I ended it with I hope he spends quality time with his mom and family. I’m just so saddened and shocked because he took all the steps with me and opened my heart and although it was only 4 months he seemed so invested until this. I wonder if I was just a distraction.
He suddenly broke up with me because his mother is dying?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
He asked if he could reach out when he’s back, that alone tells me it’s not over. Just going to be on hold for a while. I think the reality of losing his mom just hit him, and hit him hard. It’s good that you’ve expressed that you care about him and are willing to offer him comfort. Did you offer to go with him to Indiana?
The hard part about all this is that even though you’re together, you haven’t been together that long, at least not long enough to be considered “family”. And that is who he is most likely going to be turning to right now. I sincerely hope that everything works out for your relationship, and I offer my deepest condolences.
Thank you, this made a lot of sense.
That is actually sad to hear. You weren't a distraction imho. Men sometimes just feel they're not able to deliver or give what their partner deserve. Most likely when their personal life is in shambles. So, that's what I believe he did there. If you really see yourself happy and together with him in future you should reach out to him or just wait.
My mom and friends thought this too. I’m thinking this may be likely.
Yeah I don't see any other reason why. Already he's going through a hard time and would take him some time to think normal again.
Not saying this in a rudely, but I feel like I’m a way you set yourself up. You convinced yourself that you were cool with this casual sex arrangement when deep down you saw potential with him yet settled for what he had to offer. Now you’re hurting because playing that role of going with the flow, being that passive woman didn’t pay off. I’m not telling you this in a judgy or condescending way, but I feel like an ending like this could’ve been avoided, even from the moment he told you he was too busy for a partner. I wouldn’t have even indulged the steps of courting, going on dates or whatever after I was made away that basically he wasn’t offering anything but a bit of attention and sex.
**in a way
Oh it wasn’t just casual sex i mentioned in the beginning we were serious which is why this was all a shock. Thanks for the opinion though.
Maybe that isn’t how you saw it, but from an outside perspective that’s what he was offering. The only difference is he apologized, made excuses and spun it in a way that you felt there was potential even when he took it off the table.
I’m not saying it was just about the hooking up, I’m sure he enjoyed your company but I just don’t think he had the intent to settle down, whether it was him busyness or his terminally ill mom. Even from the beginning this was a factor.