Can a meddle, overprotective parent ruin their child's relationship and life?

[Anonymous]

Long ago, my mother's hurtful words were ''I gotta keep you away from him, I gotta separate you from him''. I was 19-20 years old at the time, was dating a decent guy (hard worker and not into drugs) whom had already introduced us to his family and tried to help us out with a hard situation.

Suddenly my mother turned on him for no reason. She changed suddenly into an antagonizing bully, gossiping endlessly about him and meddling too much. She made the decision (one I didn't want) for me to go to the airport, taking me with her back to my homecountry. Once I went to the airport, I sealed my fate of possibly never seeing him again. I had the chance to stay and fight for my relationship but I had no balls at the time.

Outcome:
He broke up with me recently because he doesn't have enough money to bring me back and it's very slim we'll see each other again. We're both in our 30's now (I'm 34 and he's 37) and childless. He used to hate my mother for so long for ruining his and my life (I couldn't even cook nor clean a house till age 30), for slowing down my skills, for ruining our future of having a family, etc.

Updates

+1 y

He has by now forgiven my mother but will never forgot what she did, how she acted back then nor those mean words she said ''oh when my daughter goes back to her country, she'll find a way better guy there''.
Many years later:
I never ever fell in love again and I didn't find another diamond. That was my good guy, my diamond right there and I let him go. I had no balls to stand up for myself back then.

Updates

+1 y

Till this day my now ex boyfriend (best friend) thinks my mother was being very selfish, thinking of only herself and her emotions (That ''I gotta separate you from him'' is the opposite of acting like a loving mother) and not caring one bit about what makes me happy.

[Twalli]

My sister's ex was almost her fiancee. He wasn't because of his mother. She's also the reason they eventually broke up. Funny thing is, if his mother wasn't the way she was they'd probably be married and happy. Both of them are still good for each other and even though they're dating other people, they haven't had a better relationship yet.

[Asker]

Yeah that sucks. Now even if I get into another relationship, it won't ever be the same.

[Asker]

Interesting how she kept claiming she acted out of love for me and because she wanted my best interest. Well I think the opposite. If it was out of love then she would've focus on what made me happy and left me alone to make my own decisions. She thought about herself when she did that.

[Twalli]

There are two types of parents that try to end relationships. Those the emotionally bond to their children and those that want their children to have a good spouse. My parents are the second. My sister dates at least two. shitty guys after that relationship. I think both were divorced and had at least one kid. She was quite literally the best thing they could get in their lives. They knew that and treated her like that. She needed it, but it wasn't a healthy relationship. Now she's dating a guy that's also divorced, but actually got a college degree and can get a decent job (he might have one now, but for a time he was a game streamer, and they make less than minimum wage, although they don't have to pay for much. They get housing, food, etc.)

[Pterodon]

Yes.

[Asker]

Indeed. No wonder he was holding grudges towards her for many years. In his mind, she'll always be the person that separated me from him forever, that ruined our lives. He had to even teach me how to cook and gain some streetsmart. I was at nothing. My mother taught me nothing (that got him super mad; that she didn't teach me useful skills) and was relying on a wealthy man to marry me.

Meanwhile he just recently has a new girlfriend (he doesn't love her though, he loves me still but it's unlikely we'll be able to reunite; my case went from good when I was there to nearly impossible once I stepped on that damn airport) because our case is so hard and he's getting older. He wanted a family with me long ago.