Search Results: ask for his number

So my dad saw me at his home 6 months back and hit my boyfriend coz he thought we both had sex and my dad said him to have sex with me after marrying me. Now after this, my boyfriend stopped having sex with me since 6 months, but we met outside. He cheated on me on weekends but never broke up with me - I saw his phone where he downloaded bumble and also when I asked him to show me his phone, he hid from me. He never used to hide anything like his phone or laptop from me before. But he always told me that he loves me, never cheated on me and waited for me at the station for 30 minutes just to meet me post work and he kept telling me that I should trust him blindly and not ask him to check his phone coz it hurts his integrity. I got one number while checking his phone and I asked her on WhatsApp. That girl showed me call logs of long conversation with him ( this time when I was sure of him ignoring me) she said that he was looking for casual sex for which she denied and blocked him. I confronted my boyfriend and asked him and he said me that he can't have sex with me so he asked her ( coz my dad hit him). I never denied him to have sex with me but he always denied me when I asked him for sex, saying he respects my dad and won't have sex with me before marriage. Since I was sexually deprived and frustrated, I cheated on him after the day he hid his phone from me. And I slept with 3 different guys. And I also told him that I love him and am monogamous. Right now he is in his hometown to fight for me for marriage and he always said me that I'm his long term girl. Since I also slept with guys hookups, I don't feel sad or guilty anymore. He said me we will court marry if his parents disagree our intercaste marraige. I may times told him to block me and he kept telling me that he finds me in other girls, he tried to but is unable to. I am also unable to go away from him but to satisfy my vagina, am sleeping with other guys coz my boyfriend will fuck me after we marry.

Let's call my friend S and my crush M. Basically, I got S to ask M is he was single, M said yes, and S gave M my number and a made-up name. I texted M to tell him that the name wasn't actually real, and we chatted about an assignment. When I refused to tell him my name, he ghosted me. I thought this had blown over already (it's been a week), but apparently M and his friends have been shooting S death glares in the hallway so clearly it hasn't. I don't want M to know that it's me because I'm super ditzy and unhinged around him (he turns my brain to mush), but I simultaneously want to tell him to fix the mess that I have created (and due to the hidden hope that he'll give me a chance). So should I tell him that it's me? If you were M, what would you want me to do? What's the worst thing that can happen, and is it worth the risk?