Why do guys still try to talk to you even after you tell them that you have a boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I recently activated Facebook because it was my birthday and I usually will upload pics and interact with a few people.

An old friend, that is probably like 6/7 years younger, who used to live next door from me when I was younger reached out. He messaged me- and I told him that I was deactivating my Facebook so he asked for my number. I gave him my number because I kind of look at him as family so I didn't really think anything of it. I don't look at him in that way at all so my mind didn't think certain thoughts.

Well, after he started texting, I noticed he started trying to tell me about himself and how mature he has gotten. He is a comedian and just jokes a lot so I don't take anything he does or says very seriously. However, I noticed he started flirting and trying to find time to hang and I couldn't tell if he was being friendly or trying to actually be more. I ended up showing my boyfriend the texts and he told me to stop responding because he clearly wasn't trying to be just a friend. So I told him very quickly that I was in a relationship because I wasn't sure what was on his mind. After that- it just almost seems like he became desperate. Every text after that was him trying to impress me... Here's a pic of my car and me, I make this amount of money, I wish you can see how good I am, I'm jealous of your man, let's just hang out as friends...

Even as a grown woman, I hate being mean... So at this point- I'm just no longer even responding with him because I don't know what to say. It's been 3 days and he's been texting sending "good morning beautiful" texts with no response everyday.

I know some people will say block him... Honestly, anyone who is not very close to me- I give them my google voice number and my direct notifications are turned off. I only know he's texted cause of my email that I just checked today.

I guess I'm wondering why do men do this?

[Wetdreamz]

I'm gonna be completely honest hear. You are the type of woman a guy can never trust. So many issues here.

1) you enable your accounts just to get a peak in and communicate when someone then disable after either cause you doing something sneaky or you just bored and don't have much to do.

2) you gave your number out to a guy who is not your family, boss, or coworker that has a legitimate businrdd need to have

3) you said I look at him as family which means there is either a lie somewhere in here or you really are inept

4) you said I Hate being mean to others which basically means you put others feelings above your husband's and/or there's another lie somewhere here

5) it took your husband to tell you ignore him because he clearly is looking for more, for you to a) realize this, b) block him? or is it, you realized it and didn't do anything about it on your own which should have been a very manageable task to expect of you

So, to answer your question, guys continue to flirt because girls continue to provide attention and actually enjoy the validation

Just like you enjoy the fact that I wrote all this and spent time on this question that you already knew the answer for But, I didn't answer for you, I answered for everyone else to see how silly you are

[Asker]

I enable my account around my birthday every year to post pics and to share fun experiences. Some people never deactivate their accounts so I’m blind to your concern or issue of me randomly activating mine? Again im MIA so a lot of people who don’t speak to me daily will DM me when it is activated. That’s also not something sneaky. My husband can easily go into my phone and see what I’m doing. I’m not hiding anything and if I was, my husband wouldn’t even have known I was texting him regardless. My husband knows I wouldn’t cheat which is why he wasn’t mad. All he said was just stop texting him, which I did.
However, I asked a question and instead you answered based on maybe an experience u went through. Looking at someone as family who isn’t- there’s no harm. We lived next door to each other until we grew up and went our separate ways. Even then we would always end up at same events because our community was so close. Not everyone has the privilege of living in a neighborhood where everyone knows everyone and everyone is very close because so many families have blended. However I moved out of state and was gone for years. So many people are always curious what I’m up, if I’m still around, etc. u turned your entire answer into saying I’m untrustworthy. Lol. If there was a slight chance u were right, I’d probably be hurt. But sense it almost feels like I’m reading something from google, I feel dumb even responding.

[Billlewis]

You'd better believe it -- but not for the reason you might think -- if I'm strongly attracted to you, and you tell me you have a boyfriend, I'll more than likely try to find a way to start spoiling you rotten. Really -- it's not about trying to compete with him for your affection, it's about playing the role which affords me the best ringside seat from which to, at least vicariously experience the intensely pleasurable act of having intercourse with you. ❤️

[Asker]

So basically they do it for sex?

[Billlewis]

While I can't speak for the other guys who are drawn to this scenario, for me personally, it's actually the distinct *denial* of penetrative sex that so moves me. The volatile combination of humiliation, sexual frustration and maddeningly neurotic jealousy lays waste to my very consciousness.

[Billlewis]

Here's a written piece that sums up my frustration quite nicely --
Guys And Ladies, Is Not Getting Any Pussy Sometimes Even Better Than Getting It? ↗

[Billlewis]

This one really gets me --
How Important Is Your Boyfriend's Climax? ↗

[handsomelad70]

Some dudes view a chick, even one who spurns their advances ( ESPECIALLY one who rebuffs them) as playing coy and with enough persistence, they'll change the lady's mind about them.

[Anonymous]

Some men pursue taken women because it is so much easier for them not to commit. They can come and leave anytime they want because they know you are already with someone. Same thing with men who sleep with married women.

[supercutebutt]

I think some guys think because we have 3 orifices it means there is room for them even if we have a boyfriend. It's apparently how the male brain works.

[MrDaveAPSI]

On an episode of cheers, Sam was trying to beat Henri, in how many phone numbers of women they could get. Of course they're not allowed to tell the women they're "competing", so, they had to come up with ways to try and get the phone number, only to then never call them.

The problem with the final one Sam tried to get, was, the girl claimed she had just gotten out of a relationship, and that if this was just some sleazy bar pickup, to just move on, because she's not ready for it. He lose the bet, but, later on, the girl came over to him and he said "I thought you were just getting over a boyfriend". She said "I lied. It was just a way to get to see what kind of man she would be dealing with, in Sam"

Her friends, then came over and they said "they don't do anything, alone". He walked out with all three and on the way out said "hey, henri, congrats on that, uh, contest, lol"

[jshm2]

To be fair he was just trying to strike up a conversation, not steal you from your man.

Stop thinking everyone talking to you is trying to steal you. You ain't that great.,

He was probably looking for a new joke routine of you for his show.

[spartan55]

Because they don't care about you having a boyfriend.

[Nikki1989]

Men don't care. Hell, most men that regularly flirt with me at work are married men.

[Friendlybro79]

Some men don't care.

[genericname85]

having a "boyfriend" means nothing. as long as you're not married, you're fair game to us.

[Wetdreamz]

Hey and if you get em, you doing the other guy a favor whether he realizes it or not. I will just say, some guys don't see it like that and will legitimately throw their life away by ending your life

[SolitarySolace]

Probably because they know women aren't as loyal as they claim to be

[Huntingnfishin]

Just cuz there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score!

[bobby_bush_eater]

Because he still thinks he can have sex with you/control you. It's very simple

[Booklover_90]

It blows my mind (and scares me a little bit) that people in this age group don’t know this. 🤦🏾‍♀️

[dudeinohio]

Many guys don't care. No respect for relationships.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Same reason why girls still try to talk to you even after you tell them that you have a girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

They don't respect your relationship. It's as simple as that.

[Anonymous]

He is trying to change your mind and make you fall for him.

[laly520]

1 they dont care

2 love to chase

[jahaims]

A lot of people cheat

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

Lack uh self respect.