Why do guys stop talking to you after you reject them?

[Anonymous]

Had a guy friend I knew since 9th grade, met him through a mutual friend. I thought he liked my friend. Few years later everyone's telling me he liked me. He finally got the courage to ask me out, in which I said no. He slowly stopped talking to me after he was acting like everything was ok. Another guy asked me out about two months into me starting high school, I told him no and he considers me his best friend now. The other guy recently tagged me in a memory on social media about me and him and I commented but he never said anything. Before we were kind of flirty but I thought he was joking, I was, me and my guy friends would do that sometimes so I thought nothing of it.

[MrOracle]

Imagine you get lost in the woods and haven't eaten in 5 days. You are STARVING. Not a moment goes by where you aren't thinking about how hungry you are.

Finally, you are found, and you ask for food. You are told that they didn't think to arrange any food right then, but people will be cooking for the next 4 hours, and after that, you'll be able to eat.

Then, they give you a choice of where to wait: in the kitchen, where you have to watch and smell them prepare food for 4 hours before you get to eat, or outside, where people are talking and passing the time.

Almost anyone would pick "outside", because wanting food so bad, and then having to see and smell it for 4 hours before you can eat any is TORTURE, and why torture yourself when you can go outside and let others distract you from your hunger? The time will pass much more quickly that way.

That's something like how he feels. He really likes you. He WANTS you, but you rejected him, and now he can't have you romantically. Being "just friends" when he's "hungry" for a relationship is just like waiting in the kitchen while others prepare food while you starve - it's TORTURE. So, if he can't have you, then he's better off being far away from you, where he can put you out of his mind and not torture himself wishing and being jealous and miserable.

If you are hungry, and need FOOD, you aren't going to be happy with just a glass of water - that won't stop the craving for real food, and it might make the hunger pangs worse. That's how it would be for him to be "just friends" with you - his desire for more would only make him more miserable.

Guys have NO interest in being "just friends" with girls they are romantically attracted to for this reason. We aren't talking about a guy who just meets a girl for the first time, decides she's attractive, and asks her out - he barely knows her. Rather, I'm talking about a guy who has known you for a long time, and spent time around you. If that guy asks you out, he's been building feelings for a long time, and he's not going to be interested in "just friends."

[Deedee35Gee]

If someone had offered you sardines instead of lasagna, and someone gets angry because you have turned sardines down? What do you expect them to do? Grind it up a put it in the lasagna hoping not to notice? Think about it! What do you expect the consumer must do about something that don't quite fit their appetite?

[MrOracle]

To answer your question more directly, if you know a man likes you and you don't feel the same way, LET HIM GO. Don't try to maintain a "friendship" with him, just so you can keep using him for attention. End your relationship, or at least back off to "acquaintance level".

Having guys in your Friend Zone is cruel and certainly isn't helping him at all.

[think_logic85]

Lets switch the question around, if you were interested in a guy and you finally mustered up the courage to ask him out and he looks at you and says "NO". What would go through your mind? Let me give you a couple

- Am I not good enough for him?

- Does he not find me attractive?

- I feel so embarrassed to talk to him again

That is why they ignore you after you reject them, now coming back to you, they asked you out and you said "no", If thats what you did, you don't need a wizard to tell you why they stopped talking to you, if you were interested in a friendship or their feelings you would have approached it like this " (name), please don't take this the wrong way, I am not interested in a relationship with you, I really like you as a friend and i would want to keep you in my circle and i really hope that doesn't change anything between us", that is how you handle things "if" you were expecting to remain friends with them.

You can't just crush feelings of someone and then expect them to be friends with you, you have to respect them as well (not saying you are a bad person or anything), but it also matters how you handled things.

[Asker]

Actually after saying no, I said "we can still be friends right?" He said yes. He should feel the least bit of embarrassed because our friend group just has issues, solves them and pretends like it never happened. No bringing it up or making anyone feel awkward

[think_logic85]

If you were in his shoes or any other human being, out of politeness of the situation anyone would say "yes", as you can tell he didn't really mean it.

You can give him some space & time till he's ready to sort out his feelings and approach you again as a friend, but thats up to him, I think you have made it clear with your intentions on being just friends.

The rest is up to him, many of the people would break contact after that, that is why it is better to think before you speak and look before you leap.

[Asker]

Though my post is from long ago I found the perfect link that explains girls feelings and is a defense against guys complaining about being friendzoned.
pinterest.com/.../?source_app=android

[CheshireLokiison]

The girl from Pinterest is proof that no guy is ever good enough. When are women going to realize that men DO NOT WANT FRIENDSHIPS? She literally just listed all the guys she curved then had the audacity to call herself a victim. She just shamed guys for wanting more but clams she is not at fault. Stop hanging out with guys if you don't want intimacy!

[Deedee35Gee]

Men and women don't think alike. If we were rejected it will be disappointing but that's kind of like a kid not getting to pick the chocolate donut with sprinkles because they were all out. No big deal there's still others in the box just as good even though it's not what you wanted.

[Izzex3]

Eh, I don't know that's just how some are I guess?
This one guy told me that we couldn't be friends anymore if I rejected him.
And I had to distance myself from my old best friend because even though I told him no, he was still all over me and rude to other guys.

[Anonymous]

Because he wasn't trying to be your friend. You don't want what he wants, so he's moving on?

[aegea]

If he wrote you after you rejected him, he d be clingy.

[ak666]

Because the feelings are still there. Imagine being around a guy you absolutely adore only to watch him having sex with all kinds of other girls while the years pass you by.

I'm one of the few guys that have lots of female friends whom I previously asked out, but the reason I can be their friends and spend time with them a lot still is because I asked all of these girls out when they were barely above "acquaintance" level. I had no feelings for them when I asked them out besides, "This girl is hot and seems nice", so it wasn't like I cared much when they said "no" and started getting boyfriends of their own.

[GingerGuy]

Because it's awkward and uncomfortable and/or they're embarrassed. Same reasons you would if it was reversed and you were rejected.

[Daynada]

True!

[Asker]

No, it wouldn't be the same reasons for me, not if they don't bring it up again.

[GingerGuy]

That or it's too painful. Talking to you just reminds them they like you and you don't feel the same.

[Anonymous]

no possible relationship = not interested anymore, doesn't want to be friend zoned.
and its why guys eventually dont ask girls out, because girls just never want us.
any why we wait for a girl to ask.

[AnonKuma]

1) Because you rejected them so they don't have any reason to approach you anymore
2) Might be to awkward
3) Embarrassed

[AleDeEurope]

He wanted a relationship, not a friendship.
You weren't in the same page, so there's no reason to keep talking to you.

[evenlift]

There's no point in continuing to associate with someone who wants different things.

[Flow_like_the_wind]

It's hard to speak to someone who doesn't want you.

[StickStickity13]

Because it's a distraction, it's best to move on and find that girl who likes you

[Touglyforfemales]

Why waste the time and energy? If someone rejected me like you did I would lose all contact.

[orphan]

would u wanna continue to talk to someone who's not interested?

[anonman32]

well if we dont the chance of getting a reaction like this increases 'STOP STALKING ME CREEP'

[Marinepilot]

If y’all asked you out and you said, then you’re of no use or value to me.

[0Explosive0]

Well. This happened a while ago to me, just talk to him. They are just shy

[Deedee35Gee]

What does being shy have anything to do with how a guy feels after rejection?

[Anonymous]

Um because it hurts to get rejected.

[joe138]

It's because it's kinda awkward after that to us.