Search Results: age gap

My (30F) guy (50M) and I have been together for close to 8 years now. He catfished me into thinking he was younger but because we mentally connected first, I overlooked the age gap. In recent years, things have taken a bad turn. I don’t know if it’s because he is dealing with the loss of his dad or learning how to be a caretaker to his 88 year old mom but he snaps very quickly lately.

We are long distance and fight a lot more than normal and because he is my first experience, I am unsure what is normal and not okay. When he gets mad or jealous, he says horrible things — he has called me things like slut, whore, stupid bitch, etc. Recently, he has been mad about how I financially support my family who he considers freeloaders. I have never asked him for any money but he doesn’t want me to spend mine on them either. He has also critiqued my weight in the past and made comments about stretch marks and said I need to look better and at my age he was very good looking.

It’s hard because I do work on myself and I’ve never commented on how he looks even though he is balding (understandable at his age and not an issue for me) and not exactly in great shape. He is just very critical. But our most current fight relating to my family was the worst:

When he threatened to send XXX pics of me to my family, I freaked out and told my sister. He is mad that I went to my sister and “threw him under the bus” because those threats were between me and him. He called me useless and said he wishes he had used and disposed of me.

I told him I’m done with him but today he is acting like nothing happened. Is this all normal? Is this how couples fight or is this emotional abuse? He laughs and says I’m being dramatic when I bring this up.

1. Who approached first?

2. How big is / was the age gap?

3. How is / was your experience with him?

I 23F have been with 32M since November 2022. His last relationship was with someone one year older than me which should have been first my red flag.

I have introduced boyfriend to a handful of friends. He becomes so drunk and high (unbeknownst to me) that he essentially becomes mute! If he does manage to muster out a few words his speech is very slurred. I had to carry him home to bed and would pop back out to continue the night on with my own friends on both occassions. boyfriend has never seen the issue with either night and doesn’t understand how it would embarrass me.

My friends were more than surprised when I revealed he was 32 and they were very quick to say he comes off as very young and immature. The last thing I want to do is introduce him to my immediate family out of fear he’ll embarrass me AGAIN!

His house is filthy and he’s spoilt! Mummy and daddy have paid his bills and insurances up until this August. When it came to paying his first electricity bill and car insurance renewal he was none the wiser and needed guided help. He has a degree in IT and software development.

He has been driving more than several years and inherited his car basically brand new. His dad always did the insurance and brought it to the garage for repairs and paid for them. Mummy has even offered to clean the house he also inherited several times but thankfully, boyfriend says no.

I asked him to help me clean his house one Sunday after I woke two hours early to get started and he give me the “you’re not my mum” and “stop annoying me” speech yet suggested another time I come out a day early to clean while he worked. The house is filthy, destroyed in mould, and smells of damp. Instead of buying new pillows for the bed, he wants to try and wash them first (despite being covered by mould and pillows being cheap).

Even when we text, he types like a child. He’s 32 but it’s still ‘bby’ not ‘baby’, ‘meh’ instead of ‘me’, and the conversation isn’t a whole pile of stimulating typically.