Is it weird that I am 16 and have a crush on a 13 year old?

Question

I turn 16 in two weeks, I am born in 2007. I have a small crush on a boy in my drama classes, which is 13 (born 2010). I feel like a creep and like a p3do for liking him, because of the age difference (although it is not a big age gap, the maturity difference between 16 and 13 is huge).
It is just that, for my whole life, I have been ignored by guys. I have always been rejected and ignored, and I have had no friends. So whenever someone gives me just a tiny bit of attention in real life, I start to like them. This boy is the only one who actually interacts with me. He makes eye contact, he speaks with me, he laughs at my jokes, he is nice to me and just makes me feel seen and like I am not a literal ghost.
Now, what makes things worse is that he is very skinny, like veryyyy skinny with a small and narrow frame, he is a lot shorter than me, and he has this awkward voice that boys have at the beginning of puberty. He also has a round face and chubby cheeks. The point is, he is a lot younger than me, he is a kid and looks like one as well. I actually thought he was a 12 year old girl the first time I saw him. I look older than my age, and a lot of people have told me I have an "old soul" which makes me feel even weirder for liking him.
Now, I do not like him because of his age or looks, but because he does not ignore me like every other boy and man throughout my whole life. He actually treats me like a person, which makes me feel less alone and feel seen.
Keep in mind, I have also had a crush in the past on a 32 year old teacher, because he did not ignore me (because of his job but you know, I am always lonely lol). So I do not have an age fetish for younger people (I think). I just develop feelings for anyone that gives me attention.
Am I weird? What should I do? Am I a creep?

Tren58 · Accepted Answer

Hey girl, I just want to say that I feel for you. I remember those days of loneliness and crushed on anyone that gave me any attention at all. What I can say about that is to not put so much emphasis on the need for love. That’s when I finally could enjoy my teenagehood. Realize that this is a time for you to learn and grow. Figure who you are, and what you want to be important to you.

If meaningful connection with other humans is important (hint, it should be for everyone), read books, watch Ted talks, etc on healthy friendships. Being starved for attention is a really dangerous place to be. That’s what leads people into being in unhealthy relationships, codependency, anbuse and all that. Trust me and learn from others bad experiences to avoid them yourself. Learn about relationships (non romantic and as you get older add in romantic) and find out what your ideal is. Start emulating those behaviors, even if you have no one to practice on, do it in your head.

You are moving closer to adulthood, and I think you’ll have better luck making friends with people who are more mature and older. So, in the mean time, really figure out you.

As far as this 13 yr old kid, a friendship with him could be a good idea. It will be good to learn how to carry on a friendship. The cool thing about a belief is that it’s just a repeated thought. Stop telling yourself that you have a crush on him. Your brain and body is responding to your repeated thoughts. When you see him, treat him the way you would a kid brother and you should be safe.

Do you ever open up to your parents about your struggles?

4ngelic · Accepted Answer

its a little weird yea but its not pedo creep kinda weird. like the age is close enough that it happens sometimes. but honestly keep at that, just a crush. dont try to actually date him. if you were a year younger could be doable but 16 nope

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Ah man, I get what you're going through. It's tough when you feel like no one notices you, so I can see why you'd start to like someone who treats you nicely. But yeah, 16 and 13 is too big an age gap, especially at those ages where you're both still developing.

Here's what I'd say - focus on making friends your own age first. Join some clubs or activities you enjoy so you can meet other cool people. Don't put all your hopes on one younger guy cause that'll just end up making you both feel weird and uncomfortable.

As for this drama kid, I'd keep things friendly but make sure to keep some distance too so no lines get crossed. Maybe try hanging with him in a group of mutual friends your age so it stays casual. Who knows, in a couple years if you're both single maybe something could happen, but for now just concentrate on your own life and let things happen naturally instead of forcing it.

You seem like a nice person, so put that energy into real friendships instead of latching onto someone younger just cause they're the only one paying attention. I'm sure you'll meet lots of cool people if you join things you actually like. Try not to stress too much - high school is weird but it gets better, I promise!

RavVid · Accepted Answer

If we reversed the genders would it be ok for a 16 yo boy to like a 13 yo girl. Probably not.

But I get that it is the attention he pays and your loneliness. Now it is quite possible that might make a move on you! You should reject it of course and keep it platonic. There could be a lot of issues if you don't.

syncheart · Answer

"whenever someone gives me just a tiny bit of attention in real life, I start to like them." "I do not have an age fetish for younger people (I think). I just develop feelings for anyone that gives me attention."

I can really relate to those statements! My whole life I have been ignored by women. There is someone at work, that was very very nice to me, and I started getting feelings for her. Later she started ignoring me. I've been hurting over it for years!

You are still young, and got plenty of time to figure things out.

Bad_milk · Answer

Don’t go for the teacher lol, you’ll most likely get that guy in trouble and hell goto prison. As for the 13 year old, I’d say you have some time to hangout and do stuff, explore each other if you may, remember, at some point you’ll be 18 and he’ll be 15. Your on the borderline but id say it’s okay… for now lol

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

He's basically a kid bro but 3 year difference I guess is only weird now, you can't wait a bit longer for him to be a bit older 😂

ThrillSeeker01 · Answer

It happens all the time. Three years isn't a huge difference. And you have a connection, which is great.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

It's only a 3 year age difference. My parents were 10 years apart.

GuyKyle79AD · Answer

Who said your gonna go to 3rd base. Your young. Date and go to the movies. Eat dinner with mom and dad.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

No. You both are very close in age. My first girlfriend was 14 and I was 12.

Ryanianq1 · Answer

not crazy weird.

riverrat3 · Answer

You both will get older, go ahead and be friends

Anonymous · Answer

Not all that weird, just don't act on that crush.

In_Trance · Answer

Kind of

Is it weird that I am 16 and have a crush on a 13 year old?

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