I had this guy friend of 3years who recently confessed to me and we’re now dating but I’m not sure if he’s making time for me?

[Anonymous]

I have known this guy for 3 years and we got really close in the past 4 months and he told me he always had a crush on me but had to shut his feelings down cause back then cuz he wasn’t ready and thought I wasn’t interested but now he confessed he told me he liked me few days ago and told me he loves me today. We had the talk and we decided to try and make it work. We both are so much alike and we get along very well. He’s 7 years older than me but i never felt that age gap. He’s a manly man who has his own business, house and car but he lives in a different country. He works in constructions so most of the time he has to do the job himself but he’d still talk to me and call while he’s at work. He used to do that before he told me how he felt as well. The question is, is this him putting efforts? Or is this just the bare minimum cuz I can’t tell this is like my very first real relationship so I’m not sure how things go.

[Oliverlogan263]

That's kinda tricky since he lives far away. On one hand it's cool he talks to you while working, but long distance makes it harder to really spend time together.

A few things I would look at - is he making plans to visit you? Or talking about closing the distance eventually? Just talking on the phone is nice, but you need to actually see each other too to really build the relationship. He should be putting in effort to see you, not just chattin on the phone.

Also pay attention to how he acts when you're together in person. Is he engaged with you, or on his phone a lot? Does he make you a priority over stuff like the guys? Little things like that show how into you he is.

Give it some time but don't forget about yourself either. Make sure he's making you feel wanted and not just going through the motions. Communicate what you need from him too. If the effort isn't there in person eventually, might not be worth it long distance. But hopefully he steps it up for you! Just watch closely.

[Asker]

He was actually coming to meet me but then things happened at work so he needed to cancel the flight and be there for meetings and stuff. He did say he got upset it didn’t work out and he still wants to come to meet me so I guess he’ll do that soon hopefully when things get sorted out at his work.
When we’re talking on the phone he’s really engaged with me sometimes he’d the one who’s talking all the time. He doesn’t have friends only his brothers so he’d still call me when he’s with them and sometimes he’d let his brothers talk to me as well but again we used to be close friends before. He told one of his brothers about us and his brother keeps to me about it in a jokingly way so I guess that might be something right?
The transition from being close friends to being in a relationship does change so many things between us so we’re still trying to get the hang of it and we try to communicate our feelings and emotions so we’re still working on that.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang, that really sucks his work stuff messed up his plans to visit. But props to him for being bummed about it and still wanting to make the trip happen soon. That shows he's really trying to prioritize you.

And yeah, sounds like he's pretty into you if he lets you talk to his bros too! Bros don't usually do that unless they're serious about a girl. Also cool that they joke about you - means he must be telling them good things.

I can imagine the friend to relationship transition is an adjustment. But it's awesome y'all are working on communicating feelings and stuff as it changes. Open communication is so important, especially long distance.

Try not to stress too much though - seem like he's putting in real effort so far. Give it time to develop naturally. And enjoy those phone calls! At least you can still connect even if he can't visit yet. Keep supporting each other dude, sounds like you got something good going.

[Anonymous]

Have you talked to him about this?