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My boyfriend and I have been together for the last 3+ years and we have had our fair shares of ups and downs. It’s still somewhat difficult to be in a relationship with him because he tends to keep the same unhealthy patterns going even though we have went to couple’s counseling about it.

Background: we met during undergraduate school when I was a junior and he was a freshman. I am currently enrolled in graduate school now, not working whereas he started his career after graduating in May.

The problem is that he lives 3 hours away from me and doesn’t like driving to a big city which is only a hour away from me to visit me. He prefers if I drove to him which I have done before but it costed me a lot anxiety driving and waking up early hours to hit the road to see him.

the last time he visited was because his friend had made a plan for a double date thing where he couldn’t really cancel. We went and he was worried about his finances the whole time. Then, we had sex in my car since he wanted it and didn’t finish me really. When I asked for him to do so, he claimed I was too “sweaty” now and didn’t want to do that. I was very upset since I felt used and he felt bad about it later as well.

recently, I was having back problems and asked him to help pay for my office visit since I was avoiding to go because didn’t have health insurance and he kept pushing me to schedule it. He said he would send money but kept asking if I could help in any way and I said “no hence why I asked you, you’re my last resource.” He didn’t send the money and I had to put it on my credit card which would be hard to pay off since my graduate program doesn’t allow me to work while in school. I’m not sure but I feel like I’m in the rude one when I just want him to do what he said he’d do and pursue me like how he’s supposed to. I tried to confront him about it but he kept apologizing and still didn’t send any sort of money to help. I just don’t know what to do.

Option A:
- Take out crypto at. 2.5mil but pay a few hundred thousand in capital gains tax.
- pay off all joint debt with partner
- buy a house with a basement suite to rent out when the market was the best it's been in years
- start a joint business with partner to receive opportunities for tax write-offs
- take your terminally ill mother traveling and buy things she needs to make her house safer and more accessible
- get a dog
- get married
- travel the world while being debt-free and making extra money from rent
- have amazing sex on every continent with high school sweetheart (who has only ever had sex with you.)
- have lots of time to commit to new business
- continue to get fitter with partner by doing yoga, skiing, swimming, gym, and hiking etc.
- spend time on your passions like recording new music in your home studio

Option B:
- do not pay off any debt
- Live with your parents instead of getting your own place and wank to porn 5 steps down the hall from your parents instead of having the privacy to have sex with your partner.
- Use your partner's credit cards until they're full
- finance a luxury SUV while your partner is sick in bed with Covid19
- let your terminally ill mother deal with an unsafe bathtub and broken bed frame and do not take her anywhere on her bucket list
- watch the value of the crypto drop and buy more at the bottom hoping one day you'll have 6mil
- end 8-year-long relationship with highschool sweetheart
- need to take a job as a music teacher and busk on the street for cash
- book hotel rooms every weekend and hook up with random girls
- do piles of ketamine and coke
- try to build muscle but mess up and just increase your appetite so you gain weight
- refuse mediation where ex was going to only going to ask for 1/3rd for the debt you put her in and go to court for legal separation instead - lose half, pay legal fees, and possibly be forced to sell SUV.