Search Results: let my people go

So I was kicked out of a group for exposing a man and people felt that I was “bitter” and called me “crazy” for speaking my truth on this man. It was a very invalidating experience.

Let me be clear on why I’m exposing him…

1. He did not respect my boundaries when it came to having sex and ended trying to use manipulation. I made it clear to him before we exchanged numbers that I wasn’t in a space to have sex or be in a relationship. He kind of wanted to know why etc and he wasn’t pushy.. but he said things he felt I NEEDED to hear… and at first I’m thinking wow maybe he is genuine and understanding. Looking back it was hard to see his “coercive behavior…” to get what he wanted and wanted to gain my trust. Even saying how can I make you feel safe

2. Subtle changes in behavior after telling him that I wanted to take things slow with him and gaslighting.. I did end up liking him and when I said that… that’s when it started taking hours for him to respond and then it went to days… only to get a “sorry really busy”…. But it kept happening and I confronted him and he tried to say that I needed to “heal”….. but it was strange behavior coming from a man who was trying to make me feel “safe” initially…

3. Disrespect… (devalue/discard) everything was cool on the date at first but then he became disrespectful and rude… he started asking when I last had sex, dildos, negging behavior and some insults.

4. Not being honest about his real name even on the date.. I asked him if “Craig” was his real name and he said yes… I get you want to protect yourself but he really did not want to tell me his name and seemed annoyed when I asked. It was very fishy

5. After the “date” i tried finding a “gf”…. Bc i felt like he was talking to someone.. he has no social media presence and keeps things private

6. He is possibly bisexual or closeted based on some things I found

I know it sounds like a really stupid question. My anxiety is typically pretty bad, even worse when it comes to working & social interactions. Prior to this job, I worked in financial aid for ~2 years. It started out stressful but I ended up getting good feedback from mgmt/my metrics were apparently one of the better on the team. I sought new work due to the workload at the time & wanting better pay. Now I’m in my 4th week & this is a school I’ve been trying to get into for a hot minute.

I’ve trained with the mgr & supervisor, both have told me I’m doing well & I’m not even asking for feedback (yet). Mgr felt the need to let the whole team know that I was picking up fast when I was first introduced to them. This job is more in depth vs the last job & she even told me that they only hire people with experience now bc of how much there is to it. Prior to this wk, I was w/ the mgr training & got that 1:1 attention. Now, they’ve thrown me into the deep end & I’m doing *work work*. I have SO many questions & just message the supervisor, too many unknowns. I have notes I took & training resources but still feel like I might need direction if I’m working something new, especially if I didn’t work through an actual scenario before.

I’m not sure if I’m expecting hand holding in the sense of wanting more extensive training or they’re just expecting me to ask as I go, as I work through a new task. The supervisor said that they expect me to ask a ton of questions & she said something today like “I think you caught onto doing an estimate quicker than I did when I was first training”. I know they wouldn’t lie to me & I guess that reassurance should be enough to get me through the brunt of it but it just never is. I REALLY WANT TO MAKE THIS JOB WORK.