How do I deal with a mean and mocking aunt?

[Anonymous]

I was excited to go with my mom on a trip to visit her sister. My aunt is close to my mom but lives in another country. She goes back the US every so often. I calculated and I can say I spoke with her at times until I was about 16 years old. I am in my mid 30s and during my late teens early twenties when I wasn't working she wanted me to visit. She wanted me to visit and take care of my grandma who had alzheimers by this time. She also wanted me to care for my aunt who had her own children. It has been about 21 years now since I've seen her or even spoke. Im starting to thank God i didn't come over here for the past 20 something years. I would've loved to see my grandma but she wasn't here mentally anymore. I wouldn't have been able to deal with the verbal abuse. Now I've learned about narcissism and selfish treatment by others. I've been able to survive because i know not to let these things get to me. Even though she embarrassed infront of some cousins my age. It still gets on my nerves. I'm used to being around nice and kind people like my mom or my sister. I'm trying to contain myself until we leave. I've only been here for two days and her whole ordeal is me. She gets on my mom for making sure I'm okay. If I do something not her way she tells me I need to do it her way.

Updates

1 y

If I try to talk to her and genuinely want to speak she told me that I'm not a good speaker as her. She's an authoritive and strict aunt. I do feel there is jealousy with my mom and mine relationship. Doesn't have her child in same country.

Updates

1 y

I dont want to think that she's being mean to me because she's older and I'm younger. She asked me around the 3rd day of verbally abusing me if I would come back on my own. I feel she wants to come here by myself so I can do stuff for her in her house. I can stay here and do chores and care for her pets. I couldn't believe I'd probably come back but for my mom.

[Lurix]

Yo, dealing with a mean aunt is a whole vibe! 😩 Seriously, who does she think she is trying to tear you down like that? Just remember, you don’t have to put up with her BS! If she starts throwing shade, just hit her with a chill “Nah, I’m not here for that.” 😂 When she gets all sassy, laugh it off or give her an “Okay, Karen!” like it’s no big deal.


Stay close to your mom and sister; they’re the real ones, and you know they got your back! 💯 If she keeps bothering you, just take a breather. Go grab a snack or chill somewhere else until you’re ready to deal with her again. At the end of the day, her negativity is all about her issues, not yours. You’re dope just the way you are! Just focus on having a good time with your fam and let her hate slide right off. You’ll be outta there soon enough! ✌️

[Asker]

Thanks for the reply yes. I found it crazy on the third day she asked when I was coming back without my mom. I feel its a trap to make me work in her house. She has a young woman who works for her but I'm sure she doesn't pay her much. I just can't deal with the belittling and berated because I never experienced that in my life. She has one son but he lives in another country. I think she's jealous of my easy life and moms and mine relationship. This is how I've been able to not go off. I have talked back three times and she didn't like it. My mom also told her something about if I bothered her. I can only deal with this woman in small doses. I only deal with her because of my mom. Thank you for reminding me I am good just the way I am. i know that's her problem and not mine.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa girl, your aunt sounds toxic as hell! No wonder you've been avoiding her all these years.

Don't let her comments get to you - she's clearly just bitter and jealous. You do you, who cares if it's not "her way." Screw that noise.

As for coming back, hell no! No way are you becoming her personal servant after how she's treating you. You deserve respect.

Your mom knows what's up too, I'm sure. Just try to grin and bear it till you can leave. Stay close to your mom, she's got your back.

And seriously, don't feel bad for putting space between you after. Toxic people don't change. You did the right thing protecting your energy all this time. Chin up girl, you got this!

[Asker]

Thanks!!! I really appreciate you.