Search Results: being nice

Hi Ladies!

Ok, so true story, a good guy friend of mine once sat at our favorite bar and "outlined" all my attributes for me in a way that was just matter-of-fact, like a lawyer making a case for his client. In closing, he said, "... I've known all this since the first time I saw you. You just light up the room as soon as you walk into it, without doing anything at all. Any guy who can't see and feel that is nuts." He held up his Macallan and toasted me, which made me laugh and nudge him. It was very sweet and meant to get me out of the funk of the nasty things people were saying about me being a divorcee, etc.

Today's the anniv of his passing (RIP 2020, COVID), so he's on my mind. I didn't reject his incredible compliment, but I didn't really accept them and let them sink in till this month. Since this heart to heart five years ago I've had lots of compliments about different things and I always automatically deflect them as something kind the other person is saying. I don't take it to heart. Sometimes if a person goes on and on about something I did I'll blush, quietly thank the person and outline THEIR qualities, indicating that if I'm good at something it's because I have the benefit of working with THEM (which I also truly believe... no one really stands alone 100%). This morning I receive a compliment and I let it sink in a little... to my heart... and it was a great feeling. I think my friend sent this person my way with a kind word because I was feeling glum and remembering all our chats before he passed on...

Anyway, I got to thinking... how many of us don't know how to accept a compliment?

Take a moment to think about the nicest thing anyone's ever said to you. How did you respond? Did you ACCEPT the compliment or DEFLECT it?

I'm southern African and I have bad experiences with Eurasian people ( Europeans, Asians, horn Africans, north Africans etc.) full and partial descent except for Indian women only. I just can't relate to them and actively avoid platonic and romantic relationships with them because I genuinely believe African women shouldn't mix with them, they shouldn't even be friends.

I'm even planning on teaching my children to avoid interaction with Eurasian people unless they absolutely have to, I don't even want my kids intermarrying or being friends with them at all and I seem to have disgust towards African women who are friends with Eurasian people except for Indian women, because they seem to be very nice and I've heard less bad things from Indian women about Africans.

Do you think I'm wrong for wanting to willingly segregate myself from Eurasian people? If not, how can I be distant without being mean? If so, how can I be better without crossing my comfort zone?

I know i likely am, and i genuinely dont think he's interested or anything, and even if he was it would be illegal, but I've developed a big crush on the IT guy at college (he does exams aswell) . I've been there part time since last September (although I've been doing online courses before) at night class and now daytime for one day. My room at night class was on the same corridor as his office, and actually even when i first met him/seen him then i teased him about the last time i did an exam cos he took forever to get the password right 😂😂i actually thought he was a bit odd, bit of a dork at first, like he isn't even remotely attractive but still there seems to be something for me to be attracted to him, which is why im struggling with this/being around him. We spent a lot of time on our own organizing my exam and i need a specific chair for my health (back/tinnitus) and so i would have ventured into his room a lot, he never cared or said i wasn't allowed (im not allowed there in the other campus) there was an actual pinpoint of where it started i guess i seen him in a different light, im sure he was just doing his job but he told me something about my daytime course from his diary that he shouldn't have, gave me his chair for my exam to sit on and just generally been nice to me even though most people are sick of me😂😂

Anyway it was the last night of the course (2 days before my exam) and i was stood near the doorway of the room and there's a little bit of the room that has another door inbetween (there's a printer) and of course i only turned my head for a split second as he's walking past (and no, didn't even know he was there) u can guess it, im convinced there was an eye contact of some sort😂😂 and yet i know deep down it likely wasn't. My teacher pushed me to go see him regarding my exam and it actually felt so awkward and later im literally staring at him and getting distracted 😂😂

More on the update