Whats the best way to end it with a guy thats avoidant. Treats u good but also treats u like shit often?

[Anonymous]

Meaning he treats me really well and we are very close.

BUT:

But often puts no effort, i have to plan and push everything, prioritizes when I push it, holidays, dates, you name it. It's been 9 years I'm tired. Like if I don't mention a holiday and make plans, nothing happens he dies his own thing. He buys me nice gifts but nimot on the holidays and I have to remind him to ensure I get a good birthday etc

But I'm furious. How do I leave him blindsided and hurt. Because he's hurt me so much being dismissive.

[Anonymous]

You've been in a 9-year relationship with an avoidant man who treats you well sometimes but often neglects your needs and requires you to do all the planning and effort. You're tired of it and want to end things. You have a few options:
* "Blindsided and Hurt": End it abruptly and harshly. This might feel good initially, but could backfire or leave you with regrets.
* "Clear and Direct": Tell him calmly and firmly why you're leaving, focusing on your needs. This is the most respectful and likely to give you closure.
* "Gradual Fade-Out": Slowly decrease communication. This is less confrontational but can be confusing and drawn-out.
Consider: Your safety, your long-term well-being, and his attachment style (avoidant). Do: Write down your reasons, prepare for his reaction, lean on your support system, and focus on healing afterward. Choose the approach that will bring you the most peace. You deserve someone who consistently values you.

[Anonymous]

That is how all men are these days. I would stick with him you will not find better.

[Asker]

F that. What's the best way to end it sticking it to him?

[Opinion Owner]

I think you are making a big mistake if you leave him.