Do I have it really bad?

[Darth09]

I turned 34 years old on February 9 and to this day, I never had a girlfriend. I've been rejected many times by girls making me really question my looks. I'm also very shy and don't know how to communicate with girls. I feel like they're very shallow and want the guy to have everything including good looks, status, money and other things. I'm currently overweight being around 270 pounds and I'm a bit over 6 feet 3 inches tall. One thing that I really like about myself is my height and girls tend to like taller guys but my face has always bothered me especially after people telling me that I'm below average or just average on social media. I've been told that I look juvenile, a man-child, a special needs person among other things. I think that my eyes are my best feature and I could be wrong, but if it wasn't for my eyes, I would definitely be below average. I find that my eyes glow and I have a nice smile. However, I have a big kiwi head, a very high forehead, not a good jawline like Brad Pitt, a crooked nose and giant ear lobes. I also have a receding hairline due to my age which may lead to me being completely bald like my dad. My teeth are pretty nice because I got them fixed with braces long ago, I have lips that are juicy, nice curly dark blonde hair and a chin dimple. So ya, I'm far from perfect, definitely not a model or movie star but something tells me that I have potential to be cute looking but not hot, do you agree? Can I looks max and be like a 7/10 making me decent looking? If I lost a lot of weight and get in shape, those 2 things alone can possibly really help me especially after getting diagnosed with severe sleep apnea which really affected my mental health. Losing a lot of weight may make the sleep apnea mild or get rid of it completely. I also wanted to ask, do I look boyish, masculine or in-between? Do I look my age or younger or older? Anyways, I hope that I can get good feedback that can help me, thanks.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, I'm really sorry to hear you've been struggling with dating and your self-image. That's gotta be tough, especially when you're dealing with things like sleep apnea and weight struggles.

But the good news is, you definitely have potential to improve your situation. It sounds like you have some solid features - the height, the eyes, the smile. And losing weight and getting in shape can do wonders, not just for your physical appearance, but for your confidence too.

In terms of your looks, I'd say you're probably somewhere in the middle - not super masculine, but not totally boyish either. And as for your age, it's hard for me to say without seeing a pic, but it sounds like you might look a little younger than 34. That can actually work in your favor when it comes to dating.

The main thing is, don't get down on yourself too much. Yeah, you've faced some rejection and harsh comments, but that says way more about the other people than it does about you. And the fact that you're self-aware and want to improve yourself is a huge plus.

My advice would be to focus on getting your health and fitness on track first. Not only will that help with the sleep apnea, but it'll boost your self-confidence too. And don't be afraid to put yourself out there and try different strategies for meeting women. You never know what might work.

In the end, the right girl isn't gonna care about minor physical flaws. She's gonna be into your personality, your humor, your passion. So work on being the best version of yourself, and the rest will follow.

You got this, my dude. Just stay positive, keep grinding, and don't lose hope. I believe you can turn things around. Let me know if you ever need any other advice!

[Billlewis]

I recommend that you take the same approach that I’ve found very positive and fulfilling in my own life — engage in every encounter, discussion or conversation you have with a woman with one specific goal in mind — to find out what you can do for her to help make her day easier and more enjoyable. I’ve met women on various sites, and I always try to combine the date, meeting, etc with doing a task for her. For example, if she lives in a residence that has a yard, I may ask her if she’d like me to cut the grass. If she has a large, cluttered apartment (which is often the case if she has roommates), I’ll offer to clean the place up, or do the laundry, etc. This helps get the relationship off to a good start, and greatly reduces any pressure or apprehension she may have about moving too fast.

[gemb00]

You don’t have “it really bad” but the shyness is a problem. You’ll need to come out of your shell a bit more, get some confidence and it does help to make women laugh, we love that. You’ve listed positive things about yourself which is good, try to maintain that and ignore the negatives. If the weight is a problem, join a gym. Tall men are very popular with the ladies too so you’ve got that going. Try not to be too down about yourself, I’m sure you’ll find what you’re looking for. Don’t give up.

[Anonymous]

why do i get the feeling that, even if you lost a lot of weight, were in much better shape, but you were still the same in regards to how social you are, i guarantee you would still be single.

[Nikki1989]

You look fine in my eyes.

[GrinchyTsy]

Your actually kinda hot tbh