Search Results: boyfriend broke up with me

My boyfriend and his ex bought a two bedroom condo two years ago, the two broke up and are now living in separate bed rooms. They have decided to sell it but with interests rates so high they want to wait until rates drop or they may lose money and they live in a very expensive city. It driving me crazy. Should I give him an ultimatum?

Just found out the guy I hooked up with (three times) 9 years ago is married and has actually been married for 10 years! He didn’t have social media but I came across his picture on his wife’s social media celebrating their 10th year anniversary. That means that when we hooked up he was already married for a year… I don’t have any proof or texts because I no longer have my old phone/old number. I also saw that they have 2 daughters together. On one hand I feel obligated to tell her but I also don’t want to ruin a seemingly happy family and break their daughters’ heart… Should I just leave it alone then?

(We have since gone no contact ever since the last time we hooked up, it was all very casual and I’ve forgotten about him plus I’ve been in a happy relationship ever since then. That is up until he popped up on social media and caught me off guard - my boyfriend knows about all this and told me to stay out of it).

So, I'm quite sensitive when it comes to touch & my boyfriend of more than 2 years is more on the other end of the spectrum. When he's sober, we arrange this well & are both happy, except for the occasional reminder for him to not break my neck when bear hugging me.

I want to clarify, he is a very kind soul, just clumsy, so it's always good intentions from him! But sometimes he accidently hurts me, which annoys me if it's too frequent & that's case when he's drunk. The more drunk/drugged, the worse it gets, as you simply loose control over your body. He tries super hard to give me my space & be veeery careful touching me then, but it's just not working. I'm kind of conditioned at this point that when he comes close to me drunk, he'll likely step on my foot/squeeze me too hard/poke his nose in my eye/get his fingers stuck in my hair, so I tense up as soon as he comes near me in that state. The worst part is that he's especially vulnerable & affectionate when drunk, but I just have to defend my space & tell him off & he can tell I'm not fond of him, which hurts him a lot.

I tried to avoid his drunk/drugged persona (he knows all of this, we communicate about it), but I also don't wanna miss all fun evenings with our friends. Moreover, it's a part of him (which he does not want to give up in this part of his life) and so I sometimes want to be with him in that state too. But it often ends in him being hurt & in a bad mood the next day, trying to recover from the rejections of the previous night and then he's the one needing his space, so I can't hug or kiss him to show him affection then, or to say sorry.

I know the most obvious solution is for me to avoid him in that state. But I wonder if anyone else made such experiences & whether you think this makes us a bad match/myself kind of a bad girlfriend, at least for him, that I can't deal with this? It hurts me a lot to hurt him and I hate myself in those moments for being so mean, I just don't know another way.