Should I tell his wife?

[Anonymous]

Just found out the guy I hooked up with (three times) 9 years ago is married and has actually been married for 10 years! He didn’t have social media but I came across his picture on his wife’s social media celebrating their 10th year anniversary. That means that when we hooked up he was already married for a year… I don’t have any proof or texts because I no longer have my old phone/old number. I also saw that they have 2 daughters together. On one hand I feel obligated to tell her but I also don’t want to ruin a seemingly happy family and break their daughters’ heart… Should I just leave it alone then?

(We have since gone no contact ever since the last time we hooked up, it was all very casual and I’ve forgotten about him plus I’ve been in a happy relationship ever since then. That is up until he popped up on social media and caught me off guard - my boyfriend knows about all this and told me to stay out of it).

Yes

No

Other

[HollyK21]

Honestly at this point stay out of it. You don’t have anything to approach her with if you were to do so and it was such a long time ago. Maybe their first year was rocky, maybe he’s cheated with other women since you or is doing so right now. Who knows. But if I were you I’d rather leave it in the past, it’s just not worth the energy, especially nearly a decade later.

[Asker]

I will stay out of it. I was feeling really guilty but even if he was cheating then the fault’s all on him. He wasn’t wearing a wedding ring and told me he was single… I’m just wishing the wife all the best from afar

[Kelly6]

No no no.

Stay out of it, its not your relationship, after all some couple even do some kinky sex which might include this.

So stay out

[Asker]

Oh you’re right, some couples do have unconventional sex lives. I guess I shouldn’t beat myself up too much, will definitely stay out of this

[ThebestIndian]

Let it go. Do not be a reason to break his relation. If he tries to get in touch with you, let his wife know

[Asker]

That’s a very reasonable way to go about this. I just feel really guilty but I definitely don’t want to start unnecessary drama. Thanks for sharing your input!

[ThebestIndian]

If you did not know he was married when you hooked up, You do not have to feel guilty

[Asker]

That’s true… I’ll just stay out of it then.

[chilldude33]

AI is right. Imagine how it would look

[chilldude33]

Rip my comment

[Asker]

Yeah I don't know what’s up with the numbers and all that jazz… but you’re right. I don’t want to start any drama, it’s been almost a decade and who knows maybe he could’ve confessed to her

[chilldude33]

I think it bugged because I used emojis. My comment said AI is right. Imagine you come out of the wood works and say "um, actually, this one time 10 years ago..."

[Asker]

Ah okay thanks for clarifying! I guess if it was much more recent like within a year then I’d most likely will let the wife know but since it’s been almost a decade then I’ll just let it go

[AI Opinion]

Ah, you're in quite the emotional pickle! Your instinct to stand up against deception is admirable, but a lot has changed over time. Nine years is a long time and this could just bring chaos into their lives, reigniting past issues that have since settled. Besides, it's not your circus, not your monkeys! Your life is thriving; let the 9-year-old fling rest in the memory vault. Embrace the love you're currently bathing in and keep living your best life, heartbreaker! 😏💖

[seeyounexttuesday]

Mind your own business.

[Asker]

Logical and reasonable!