I don't think you should tell... you are not the marriage police. That's for starters. Second, you are exposing yourself to potential problems. His wife may be a psycho bitch - she may actually blame you. And yes, it's very possible that you'll be splitting up a marriage and that's going to have very deleterious effects on any kids in that house.
If you want to feel like you've done something... sit him and down and explain to him that you're not telling his wife, and you're not having a relationship with him. And... if he wants to continue this kind of behavior with other girls... sooner or later he's going to be exposed and be responsible for the breakup of his marriage - and all the negative consequences that will have for his kid (s).
I've seen this happen many times... a girl don's her armor and charges the hill and tells the wife, thinking she's doing the right thing - and then the wife (who is in denial) actually attacks the woman trying to do a good thing.
It's unpredictable. If you were related to him or his wife was your friend, you might have a dog in this hunt. As it is... you really don't.
+ 1, you defs have good points, but I personally, if I were the one in the wife's position, I'd rather know. If my husband cheated on me, and wants to stay with the person he cheated on me with, then I think I might throw a psycho bitch attitude. If the person he cheated with, wants to break up with him once she realises that he's married; I think in that case, she's totally innocent, and I would appreciate it.
But you're completely right, it is unpredictable and the original poster doesn't have a responsibility or reason, other than moral obligation, to tell the wife.
Another fuckin' asshole that has no understanding of true love and sacred marriage. I continue hate saying this, but yes. Tell her. Until idiots like him understand the crap they're doing, it's going to keep happening.
Love your answer
Thanks.
Thank you for the MHGO.
He took vows and it's quite disgusting of him to ignore him. I'm currently in the same situation. I have his nudes and vids!! I told him I'm going to tell his wife and he told me it's not him in the video but some other guy I was screwing. He's denying it when it's clearly him and I recorded the videos of him myself lol. After we had sex a few times he turned into a bastard. I knew this was just a fling but he did some hurtful things. I'm trying to track his wife down through her job and give her the pics in an envelope. Yes I was sleeping with a married man but I never stood with his wife or took vows... HE DID. Not my problem. They have kids. It's better for parents to be divorced and happy than to be together and miserable. Kids aren't stupid and they will notice. Why should kids have miserable parents?
I think you should tell her. If you were in her shoes, I'm sure you would want to know. I certainly would hope someone would tell me if I was being cheated on.
I honestly don't know why so many people say "think of the kids." Um, why is it better for kids to have parents who are married and unhappy rather than divorced parents who are happy? Parents don't have to be married in order to be good parents to their children. Staying with a cheating spouse "for the kids" is probably setting an even worse example because it would just show that cheating is acceptable and should be tolerated in a relationship. I would prefer to set the example to my children that they should never stay in an unhappy relationship...
In my opinion, i think you should tell her. Even though he hasn't gone on a date with you or anything has happened between you two, he is flirting and sending nude pictures. If you were dating/married to someone would you not be upset if you found out they were sending nudes and looking for other girls online? I know if it was me i would like to know. Maybe things will go badly between them after you tell her but maybe she can also see why he is doing this and what is wrong with their marriage why he feels he needs to do this and they can work on things.
Absolutely tell her! All the guys on here saying it was only virtual and since you guys didn't actually have sex are living in a dream. Emotional cheating is still cheating. Also as for the kid - I'm assuming that the kid is young (I'm not sure how old) but the younger the kid is the more easier a divorce would be on it, rather than letting it go on longer and longer, cause she'll eventually find out cause most likely he'll keep doing it with other women. It's up to this woman the mother to make the best decision for the child, not you.
Seems like the oldest is 7-8. Youngest 3-5
The 3-5 probably wouldn't even notice much, the 7-8 year old will, but it won't be as much as a problem as say he was 13-18
Opinion
34Opinion
u If you were in her position, would you want to know? Once she has the information, it is her responsibility to consider her child while deciding what to do.
I would. I'd dump him faster than lightning can strike
Plus children shouldn't deserve an example (husband) of not respecting your partner
Yes, but even if they get divorced, he'll still be their father and they'll still love him. That's just the way it is.
That's OK, but she won't suffee
You will open a can of worms with teeth. And like you say, the child is innocent in this, so why deliberately make the child a victim of his fathers crime. Let them sort this out, you shouldn't feel obligated to tell her as you don't know her, and your efforts will only be seen as an effort to cause trouble through sheer jealousy, so I would bury any moral thoughts of this beneath the sea and move on. His day will come and it won't be your fault of the outcome, because bad things can happen, no one knows how she will react, just look at Jim careys ex girlfriend. Do you think he would of done things differently if he had known her response to the split?
I'm not jealous for sure but I don't think she should be lied to when she is trusting he stays true. Regardless, I wouldn't be with him after finding out his lies
Most people here will feel the same, but its not your place to interfere with others relations. I don't mean this disrespectfully but they need to sort this out themselves, and she will find out eventually, because guys like this don't change, but when shouldn't be something your in charge of,
I see what you mean. Partly you have a point that's its not of my business. But how do I deal with knowing someone is doing their spouse wrong?
Everyone's actions are influenced someway by their morals. If you think it's wrong for the wife to not know, then perhaps tell her. You don't have to tell her face to face, especially if you think there's a physical risk of injury attached to tell her.
Personally I think it's better to tell her (and hence my post might be a bit biased hahaha), as during my childhood I was basically the kid in question. As someone has mentioned earlier, children aren't stupid, they know the general gist of their parent's dynamics.
To me, the kid is all the more reason to tell her. He isn't committed to the marriage, and you can bet he was doing this before you, and will do it again. That means that a split is inevitable, so better now than later, both for the mother and the child. As a child raised for a good part of my life in a home where my parents didn't want to stay married, but did for us kids, I can say that a child is happiest when his/her parents are happy. Kids pick up on the tension and hostility present in such an environment, and are better off in the long-run if the parents go ahead and split.
If it was me, then I would tell her. No one deserves to stay in a relationship where their partner is basically lying to them and, in my opinion though not everyone else's, cheating on them. She should have all of the information and be able to choose whether she wants to put up with it or leave.
Everyone wants to "think about the kid"... but think about the kid in terms of what type of father is raising him/her?
I think the wife deserves to know because this guy is obviously scum. The father is the one ruining this family.. not you. It's not a secret he can hide forever so might as well do it now before more kids are involved.
As a person who has been cheated on, the only thing worse than being cheated on (which is what this guy was doing), is being cheated on and not know it.
the chances are you are not the 1st or the only person he has done this with so if I were the wife I'd want to know.
cause you find out eventually. so what's better finding out after two days that there is a hole in the back of your pants or finding out 2 years later there is a hole in your pants
illogical is believing that being left in the dark about something is better than knowing about it and being able to deal with it
I'm an advocate for brutal truth. White lies won't help anyone and is just disrespectful when done to me. If i were the wife, i'd want to know what kinds of shit my husband has been up to, and then i can decide next on whether to stay together for the kid or kick his slutty ass out.
But many women are not like me, so...
Being on the other end I would much rather know than find out later through a third party. At least I could respect the other woman if she came forward, apologized, and explained what happened. It would have saved me a lot of heartache and stress that I didn't need or deserve if one of them had just come forward.
Plus it's much better for the kid if he grows up in two households that love him than one household that's too busy fighting each other to notice and care for him.
You need to approach the man and tell him if he doesn't tell her, then you will. Because if he cheated with you he'll probably cheat again. If he doesn't tell his wife, you need to. This is super serious. So the wife needs to know, but it would be about 1000x better if she heard an honest confession from him.
It's complicated... But maybe wait a while and then anonymously send her an email or something with the pics and a screenshot of text. Try to keep yourself as anonymous as possible. Be kind and just tell her that you would want to know if this was your husband.
She deserves to know because of the kid, maybe if he's caught out they can deal and he can change? Better sooner than later when she finds out he's been doing this for ages or something. Don't make her feel a fool, eventually this will come to light anyway.
Though this sounds reasonable - does she really know what kind of guy this is? If she does all that - can she be assured that he won't get violent with her? Or attack her life. Best leave this alone. If the married woman isn't a friend or relative, she really has no real reason to take the risk.
That's probably true, i don't know though eventually the wife will find out and probably find out about her as well, so who knows who she should be scared of? But safety first.
Does he know your work or home address?
If not, then think you should tell her. Just don't give her any way to find you.
No he doesn't, he knows my state though
I wouldn't tell her, you don't want to be that girl who has to break it to his wife, and penitentially ruin their family even more. You only hear one side of the marriage, and all though he lied to you, it's best to just forget about it and move on. What he did was wrong, you didn't know- and now that you do makes you more aware of the situation and it's best to remove yourself as fast as possible.
You can expose him if u like but he will keep doing it ie cheating via on line and there will be some chick that does NOT care he is married and WILL date him - if u WANT to be bothered telling the wife TELL HER - one of these day she WILL find out u can't hide lying and cheating FOREVER...
Tell her. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You won't be the only one. In fact, you probably already haven't been the only one. Better for you to tell and not have her find out in a more hurtful way.
Not sure what you should do. Some people like to fake and pretend everything is fine and aren't looking for the truth and get mad when truth finds them. Some people say they would like to know the truth, but find out later that they actually don't, because they have no exit plan. It seems only a small percentage of the people who say they do already have an exit plan since day 1 and are thankful to the stranger for speaking up.
If it was just her and him then I would say go for it. But having a child involved... I wouldn't. You have to remember that some women are psycho and will keep the children away from the father's for little to no reason at all. If he told you to stop speaking to him then chances are she already knows or assumes and that is why he is stopping the contact. Leave it alone and move on.
What if he continues to cheat on his wife, has unprotected sex with some chick and gives his wife HIV or something? His wife should know the injustice being done behind her back.
This is my opinion. If that is how you feel then I respect it. But she has made it clear that she has never hooked up with this man. They hadn't even met up yet. So its safe to assume that he sparked things upbwithout any intention of going through with seeing her. Hence, why he backed out so close to when they were supposed to meet.
But why would he spatk stuff up? That's what I don't get. Like if he would've had a one night stand, I get it. But what does he get out of taking me for an emotional ride?
People spark up affairs for many reasons. In my opinion, one of the biggest reasons is because they are probably feeling lonely. They aren't getting the attention theybdesire from their husband/wife. Therefore they seek that emotional bond else where. They want to feel wanted. And most people will go to affairs rather than work out things with their partners. Which is cowardly, to say the least. Its pathetic in every way you look at it. But I'm passing that's probably what he was. He turned to you because he wanted to feel wanted and desired.
You can't do it, simply for the sake of the child
it confront the husband about it and that you will not tell his wife becuas ehe has a chil but if he ever does it again that you will tell her
at least thats what i would do
And he is doing it again...
well honestly its a very though spot, and you should do what you think is the best for everyone
To be very honest, i prefer to not give my honest opinion simply becuase this is such a fragile situations and dont want to toxicfy your opinion
So yhea..
He'll probably cheat with someone else if you let him get away.
The only valid point is that it will hurt the child when their relationship falls apart.
I think you should tell her. I was in this position with a guy last year. I was completely oblivious he had a partner until she contacted me. She was also pregnant with their child. She however took his side, I would never dream of interfering in someone's relationship like that. I felt awful about myself but I he was the asshole in the situation, I never knew. Just contact her and tell her.
Better to be hurt by the truth, than to be comforted by a lie. She needs to see he is no use to her.
Yes, you have every right to be angry with this guy. Actually I have another answer but then that would be the half truth and that's not right either, I think you shouldn't mention it, it's complicated.
If your wife/gf is cheating on you, wouldn't you like to know?
What are you going to get out of this? You have nothing to gain from telling her. Telling her will just enmesh you in drama that you don't need. She probably already know he is doing this but she is just trying not to think about it too much.
If your gf/spouse was cheating on you, wouldn't you like to know?
Almost certainly, she already knows which is likely the reason why he stopped.
Imagine yourself in her position. Would you want to know? I bet you would, so tell her.
Imagine you're his wife and some little trollop was doing this with your husband. Would you want to know?
I'd love to know!
I say tell her, if he's done it with you who knows how many other times he has done it!
Let it go and walk away. Only tell if you've kissed him, dated him, and/or had sex with him.
This is the same MO a guy follows when he dates a woman and he finds out she's taken.
tell her. if he wants to go behind his wife's back with another girl, even if it isn't physical. it is cheating and she need to know about it
Yes tell it on his ass. Its funny that guys voted no cuz they wouldn't want their ass to catch on fire either so i suggest u give him his own taste of medicine for being such a hungry wolves trying to score on ya 🎅🏼
I think it's your mistake, there are millions of cheaters and chance takers roaming around, but it's our responsibility to walk safe through a throny way. I don't know you like it or not but I'm telling this keeping you on priority in my mind.
My mistake? How? Asking him his relationship status and him saying he is single? he started Pursuing me, he was the one who messaged me initially otherwise I would've never met him. used a fake name, lied about his job and where he lived. Cooked up some story about an ex and how she cheated on him after a 7 year relationshipthat never happened because he has been married since he was 20! Lies lies lies
Will you buy an article which cost 100 rupees, but the seller say it cost 500rupees, and sale u in 500? Just bcoz seller said, would u buy the article? bhagwan (God) gave us something called brains, start using it damit. Bloody cheaters are everywhere to make fool of nice people n people who trust easily. Take care :-)
I do have brains and use them accordingly. If I failed in anything is to trust. So yeah lesson learned, no more online and men are just a waste of time
I have a life
Well if you were a wife and mother and your husband did that to you, wouldn't you wanna know?
Don't tell, you had cyber sex nothing real, newsflash.. Neither of you touched each other on the other hand she is his wife and they are having a baby.. They made actual love all you have was having sexual fun with techincal toys
Just the fact there is a kid involved. If he is a better father than he is a hubby at least the kid will have something to look forward to even if his wife dont
Just move on, it's not worth the drama. Be grateful that you weren't dragged into this mess, and let karma take care of itself.
I hope so, but karma can also be unfair
yes you should tell her that she's married to a man slut or a man whore or a man ho. how ever you wanna word it
Don't tell. Not much happened: a few photo's, that's all. Think about the kid.
Nude photos of himself. He wanted to meet once a month and said he would love to marry me. But perhaps you're right
I've been cheated on several times (by the same ex. And *really* physically, not by talking or pictures) I wouldn't have liked to hear it from anyone else than from her.
Why?
When a guy boasted to me in public that *he* had effed my crush years ago, that did really hurt!
I pardoned my ex but I hate the guy who effed my crush, *not* the guys who effed my ex.
(And I never was angry at my crush.)
@alibaba42 Indeed.
Well, he is talking to another girl now online, why not be honest with his wife? this is backstabbing trust
@alibaba42 Think of the kid? Really? Why should he hold the kid "hostage" in the relationship? That's a cowardly thing to do. It's like holding a figurative gun to the kid's head is what he's doing.
I can't approve the idea of sacrifying the kid in name of 'morality and 'purity'.
Well, you didn't know, I mean, I don't think you meant to be a homewrecker, I think you should still show her but, it's not your fault
What good would possibly ending a marriage do?
Just move on.
she needs to know now... or let her continue to live a lie
Yes tell her! What do you have to lose? Fuck that guy.
No, just let it go. It's a good bet his wife already knows; it's probably not the first time he's stepped out on her.
What would telling her do except make you look petty and desperate, and destroy his family. He was playing online, and he told you before shit got real.
He never told me... I found out!!!
Regardless.. it isn't your place to destroy his family. If he does it on his own, then he does it on his own.
You doing anything will just make you seem petty.
No, I just want to help her not live a lie. If that makes me seem petty then I sure feel sorry for people who think that way
No, it's not your place to tell her but it is HIS place to. If he doesn't, he's such a coward.
Do not tell her, this man has a bright future of cheating ahead of him. Do you want to ruin that for him?
I once was in the 'kid position', and i can say to you to simply dont tell her, it will bring a lot of problems to him. Althougt i think you should still say something to that man, its a shame.
Don't break his marriage up. You were the one gullible for being fooled by a faceless text based ghost.
Haha wow, in a way you're right. But I'm looking for single men, not married men that hide things from their wives, understand?
She will ignore you
If there's a child involved then no.
yes i think you should do it
She has the right to know.
Just leave it alone and never talk to him again.
Not your problem walk away.
His marriage is none of your business. Stay out.
Can't trust these hoes
You sound like a cheater yourself
Tell the wife.
You can also add your opinion below!
Holidays 
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Most Helpful Opinions