Search Results: he's avoiding me

I feel bad writing this, but from the way he speaks to the way he chews his food to him talking with his mouth full midway through meals - I really struggle to be around him. It sends me into fight or flight, usually flight mode.

He breathes loudly, and thumps his feet on the floor to some imaginary beat when sitting on the couch. The thumping goes through me. When he talks, he usually talks at me and lectures me about something or goes on at length about something else. I try to avoid conversations because I could make a remark and he’ll then just keep going or tell some off tangent story.

He lacks awareness of personal space and sometimes gets too close when talking to me. Can be overly curious about what I’m doing and where I’m going. I’m also hyper vigilant around him and don’t like if he’s standing behind me and not within my line of vision. I also don’t feel comfortable showing any flesh around him. And although he comes off as ‘friendly’ to other people, I don’t like the way he interacts with teen girls. I wouldn’t trust him to be left alone with my daughter if I had one.

Why do I feel this way?

Am I wrong to be frustrated by people who do this? All my life all my parents have ever really done is talk ‘at’ me. My mum’s idea of a conversation is giving me a run down of her day whether I asked for it or not, a run down of what she’s watching if I walk into the living room, yet another update on a family member that I didn’t ask about or what she plans to do at work that day.

Not once in my life has she actually outright asked ‘how are you?’ or asked about my day. It’s exhausting to the point I just want to avoid.

Am I wrong for feeling that way?