Why does a male coworker who used to be really nice to me now ignore/avoid me after I found out he has a girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

What gives? Can’t we just get along? His avoidance is making work harder.

[aaron13547]

Reinvent the energy. Sounds to me like he liked you. I think the avoidance is his way of making the fact he likes you go away. This sounds silly but make him see you in another way and you'll fix the problem. Re establish the fact this is work not play and weather he likes you or not you gotta do what you you gotta do for work. I don't think the solution is for you to change yourself to accommodate the situation but change the situation so you both fit into it better.

[Asker]

So you mean he's avoiding me to stop liking me? How do you mean make him see me a different way, how do I do that?

[aaron13547]

Awareness. Ask yourself that question. I could tell you what I would do but this is your life. What i might do could be the wrong thing for your life... I don't fully understand the situation only you do. When I have a problem I break it down in to the smallest pieces I can and fix it one little thing at a time... I hope this helps. Good luck. You got this

[Asker]

Ok thank you I will do that and see. But from your perspective you think he’s avoiding me to stop liking or being attracted to me?

[aaron13547]

Yes I think he doesn't like the fact he likes you. I tell myself, People want to do the right thing... He's got a girlfriend and is acting different because he wants to do the right thing. His "right" thing to do is making your work life more difficult. That's the only thing wrong about it. So if I were you I'd try help him see he has to deal with his emotions and the consequences, the fact you work together isn't going to change. How to change for the better I'm not so sure of... But I'm confident you'll figure it out. (Don't call him out on it, that'll only make it worse) help him see past it without seeing it at all...

[Asker]

Great thanks this is really helpful, seeing it from a guys perspective. Yeah ok good to know about the not calling him out on it, so don’t ask him why he’s avoiding me?

[aaron13547]

You can ask him, but being a guy I'd say your probably not going to get a truthfully answer surprising him with the question. You might thou. I try to think how i want to make things go and shape what I have into that. Instead of directly asking him maybe work around him more making it uncomfortable till the question more naturally comes up. That uncomfortable feeling will having him thinking about it before you can ask. You are more likely to get a truthfully answer then. I think it's funny how we men think we don't have emotions by hiding them... lol I've enjoyed talking to you about this you made me more aware I've probably been this guy before in my past. Let me know how it all turns out. My Fingers are crossed for you with good luck.

[leahzrc]

All the men who have gfs at my workplace purposefully don't speak to me bc the gfs told them not to. Some men trying to respect their gfs out here and I am all for it. Taken boys shouldn't really be talking to me even the ones in long terms relationship He was my friend and when people gossipped about our friendship being more he asked me to give him back his gifts he gave me probably to respect his girlfriend. Really taken guys should only focus on the one they want to marry.

[leahzrc]

I actually just left this job bc all the men were being extremely rude to me bc I rejected them with my eyes

[leahzrc]

the singles ones that is

[leahzrc]

Basically think women shouldn't be working women should stay at home and men should do all the money making and men need to support one wife that they love and not cheat. This why women work, bc men aren't going to support a family they are going to support themselves in these trying times of society.

[Anonymous]

This has been going on for a while now, at this point you should really look into getting a new job if the environment has become that uncomfortable.

[SamWinchester058]

Maybe he was attracted to you and now that you found him out, he doesn't want you to think poorly of him.

[Asker]

Ah ok makes sense, what can I do though to stop it being so awkward?

[SamWinchester058]

Friend zone him if you don't like him? Or just ask why he's been avoiding you and take it from there?

[Asker]

I do like him, but respectful his girlfriend, I think he may get awkward if I ask him.

[SamWinchester058]

It'll definitely be awkward but the only way out is through.

[Mariogirl09]

He feels guilty

[Asker]

Guilty for his girlfriend?

[Mariogirl09]

Guilty for everything

[Asker]

Sorry how do you mean?

[Anonymous]

Okay, and?

[Asker]

Makes working together difficult