Search Results: ways to meet people

There is an attractive younger woman I meet at my local CrossFit gym a few months ago. After getting into a several friendly conversations with her I one day asked her to get breakfast.

She smiled at me and said “thank you but I have a bf”. I responded that I respected that and I wouldn’t ask again (while smiling). I believed her at the time and appreciated her handling it the best way possible. She was polite but direct. I didn’t pick up on any negative body language.

Since then I’ve ran into her several other times in class (including a small class with just her, me and the instructor). I act courteous. I’ll give a quick hello and goodbye after class. I even occasionally help her rack heavy weights and move machines (I help other people w/ this too sometimes).

However I don’t start conversations with her anymore. I don’t want her thinking I’m okay with a friendzone or stroke her ego too much by giving her additional attention. However I do act polite to her because she was respectful by how she rejected me

But she’s the chatty type and I’ve overheard her get into long conversations about what she is doing in grad school, her vacations with her friends and her weekend plans with other people. Not once has she ever mentioned her boyfriend. Never. I am starting to wonder she gave me a well intentioned lie.

That doesn’t mean I’ll keep trying if she’s single. She’s obviously not interested in me that way and that’s okay. We both know where each other stands.

But I just wonder why she lied to me about having a boyfriend.

Usually these two things go hand in hand, and most girls say they like guys who are direct and/or confident. Genuinely good shy guys hear about this, and they work on being direct and confident, but sometimes, girls think the guy is a player because he's one or both of these.

It's perfect if the girl and guy just understand each other with no insecurities, but it isn't always as easy as it sounds. No guy loves that someone lacks trust in him, especially when he has done nothing wrong, so how can a guy meet a girl without worry about rejecting and at the same time not losing her trust?

Do you see how this process is so difficult for guys? I personally find this process absolutely fascinating, but I'm kinda weird in that way, and I know a most guys don't feel the same way. I am not saying it's definitively more difficult to be a man, but I know there are plenty of people who would say it's definitive, and to not acknowledge this issue for guys is just plain wrong.

Guys, you can feel free to chime in too.