Search Results: love friend''s boyfriend

I'm 40, and recently broke up with my boyfriend (47) of 11 months. We had hundreds of days filled with highs, he is social, charming, has a lot of friends, loves going out, having fun. He was very sweet, romantic and caring during these times. There were red flags that I tried to rationalize- binge drinking multiple times a week, crippling debt from student loans and cc (>200K), no career motivation and health issues that started popping up (probably from drinking). We had 6-7 arguments over the last year, that I thought were heated but never out of control (and always under the influence of alcohol). The next day we'd both apologize and move on. I realized he'd get overwhelmed then, and sometimes even at the smallest disagreement or when I needed to vent (when both were sober). I showed concern about his health and debt and the stupid fights that happened while drinking. Asked him to cut back, but he was super defensive and in denial. Fast forward to the new year, we were going to move in together and he was going to propose. He suddenly started acting disinterested and cold and last week suddenly declares he doesn't want to move in together. I'm taken aback and ask why, and he brings up the fights and that it's too frequent. I ask if he's overwhelmed with all his issues, and he admits he is, but keeps blaming me for the fights. I say I'll work on being more understanding and only bring up stuff while we're both sober and in a calm way, but I can't change the past, only do better in the future. He's reluctant to accept my words and I finally ask in frustration if he wants to break up. He says he doesn't know what wants, but needs time on his own to think. Over the next 3 weeks, I don't hear from him and he ignores my call and texts, forcing me to text and email him an official breakup note. Rationally, I know he's not good for me in his current state, but my heart still loves him. I want to know if a man like this can change. Does he deserve a second chance?

I'm in a loving relationship. No friends unless you're sister counts and person you barely text counts. I have a part time job that gives me like 8 to 12 hours a week. No pets and in a two bedroom apartment.

My boyfriend loves doing his projects they take up all his time and I'm glad that he has something he loves to do. I do as well. I love video games, art, watching shows, listening to books and crocheting. But I never feel like I get enough attention from him. Even if we spend the whole weekend together and he doesn't do his projects. Like I get all of his attention.

But somehow I just feel like anytime I spend with him, isn't enough even if we spent the 24/7 together. I know I shouldn't feel this way. But I don't know how to not feel this way. I keep myself as busy as possible. But nothing is ever enough. How can I feel like it's enough?

I have tried to make friends but it's so hard to do and then I feel like all the friends I have ever had just leave me. Should we get a pet so I can focus on something else besides him? Or just deal with it? Or do something else that will make it feel like enough?

Please help. I cannot afford a therapist so I come to you guys.