Search Results: should i sleep with him

So I just found out that I’m pregnant. My ex and I broke up in January but continued seeing each other for our needs. I have infertility so I didn’t think i would ever get pregnant. When him and i were together for 3 years we tried to have a baby but wasn’t successful even with the help of a dr. I slept with him and only him the last few months. I know he’s the dad. I left him due to him putting his hands on me. I had a black eye and a broken finger. He went to jail for 90 days. We had sex in July 22,23,30 but in August he ghosted me due to me not wanting to be more than friends again. I told him i wanted to be friends and work on ourselves. He couldn’t handle that so he ghosted me. I don’t know if i should tell him or not. He has another baby that’s 3 or 4 years old. His first bm left him and moved to a different state so he hasn’t seen his son since he was a newborn. That’s breaks my heart because i want him to experience everything that he missed but then again why do i care when he put me through hell the whole 4 years we were together. My friends and family agree that i shouldn’t tell him. I feel like once i post the announcement that our friends will tell him and he’ll put two and two together.

I have an Anxious Preocuppied Attachment style and he is a fearful avoidant, both 28. We had been together for 3 years before he broke up with me almost a month ago while celebrating our anniversary / my birthday. The month prior, he had moved to a new city due to being transferred at his job, so new workplace as well. His company gave him 2 weeks to move his whole life over there and he had to do the move while still going to work so he was highly stressed. The city is about 1.5hrs away by train from where I am (and he also was) and I have plans to go there next year for work, so we were thinking of going there together. So a long distance relationship would have been temporary and we would have seen each other once a month in person. He reassured me that everything would be okay and that we would absolutely make it work.

When he came back to our city a week after moving/starting his new job (for the celebration), he looked very stressed. His work week was hectic and he’d get home at around 9pm every day and go straight to sleep (about one message a day). At the hotel, where we were celebrated, he seemed to be in a terrible mood so I asked him what was wrong a bunch of times and also mentioned our future (moving in together eventually, which we’ve talked about before) and he said he didn’t know and couldn’t give me the answer that I wanted. He then came up with a bunch of excuses about needing to focus on himself and his career and not having the bandwidth to be in a relationship anymore. That he couldn’t cherish me. There was no changing his mind. I left the hotel and went back home.

The next day I called to make up and talk again but he was firm in his decision so we each apologized and thanked each other and that was it. He deleted me from IG and hasn’t reached out since. I have been in NC. I’m extremely hurt and am wondering if this is temporary or permanent? He broke up with me once before but came back after 20 mins apologizing. What should I do?