Should I tell him I’m pregnant?

[Anonymous]

So I just found out that I’m pregnant. My ex and I broke up in January but continued seeing each other for our needs. I have infertility so I didn’t think i would ever get pregnant. When him and i were together for 3 years we tried to have a baby but wasn’t successful even with the help of a dr. I slept with him and only him the last few months. I know he’s the dad. I left him due to him putting his hands on me. I had a black eye and a broken finger. He went to jail for 90 days. We had sex in July 22,23,30 but in August he ghosted me due to me not wanting to be more than friends again. I told him i wanted to be friends and work on ourselves. He couldn’t handle that so he ghosted me. I don’t know if i should tell him or not. He has another baby that’s 3 or 4 years old. His first bm left him and moved to a different state so he hasn’t seen his son since he was a newborn. That’s breaks my heart because i want him to experience everything that he missed but then again why do i care when he put me through hell the whole 4 years we were together. My friends and family agree that i shouldn’t tell him. I feel like once i post the announcement that our friends will tell him and he’ll put two and two together.

Yes tell him

No don’t tell him

Keep thinking about it

Other (comment)

[pervertedjester]

I would say, tell him via posted mail. Just be clear to him that it's not an invitation to resume the relationship. Every man has a right to be a dad to his kids. He may turn out to be a deadbeat by all accounts but as long as the pregnancy wasn't forced, he deserves to hear about it.

[Friendlybro79]

This is a really tough decision. I want to understand why you'd sleep with him after being abused but I suppose it doesn't matter.

If he's abused you and gone to jail for this I think you should go to a counselor to talk this out. I'm not sure if any of our opinions in here are good enough to trust. Also you're going to find some that say tell him and others don't so this isn't going to help you at all here.

Go speak to a therapist if you're not already and talk this out. Good luck and I'm sorry you're in this tough situation.

[Rei13]

I personally think he has the right to know but doesn’t necessarily have the right to be in your life. As soon as someone behaves abusively they lose that right as it isn’t good for you or the baby. Ultimately you know what is best for you and your child, not a bunch anonymous people on a site.

[Anonymous]

First question is, are you carrying the pregnancy to term? Not knowing where you live, you might not have a legal choice or not be able to afford to travel to a state where you do, if you're even in the USA. So that's the first thing. If you're going to try and give birth, that's a different question. A lot of people will say he has a right to know. I think your first responsibility if have the baby is to decide what's best for it to have a good life.

Is he paying child support for his other kid? Doesn't sound like it, nor does it sound like the other baby mom wants him in the kid's life. You're in a tough spot. He sounds like a grade A fucking loser, and you don't need anything from him, though money will help. Welcome to your life.

[Anonymous]

wow you're a dumbass you fuck somebody who physically beat you, who dumped you/ghosted you, got you knocked up, and has a kid or expected kid with another broad. WOW congratulations on winning the dumbest contest award of all time and now you come on here whining bitching and complaining.. like seriously wtf do you expect any of us to do about the foolish choices you made. word of advice for you and that kid you're carrying inside of you GROW UP start acting and behaving like a fucking adult otherwise that kid will see how foolish your choices in life are and will mimick that as the piss poor role model you'll be for that kid

[Fireguy17]

that is a tough call.
If you do tell him he might just run away again, or possibly do something worse.
Is there some sort of counseling you can get that would be provided by your state or county, or private organization available, or your family.
That is tough to go it alone.

[Tortoise_Lover]

Oh boy you're not so smart... You fuxkd up and better own it and be the best damn mother you can be. Of course tell the father. The child will find out someday and search for his/hers father. Or don't and ain't wait for karma to strike. Your life. Your choices. Good luck 💕

[Static_In_The_Attic]

He went to jail & he gave you a black eye & a broken finger & to be honest you should cut all contact with him unless you are looking for child support.

Don’t let that joker back into your life.

[Drumlin2001]

Absolutely you should tell him. it's his child as much as yours. You should work out a plan to coparent.
Your friends are terrible people who do. not have your child's best interests at heart. You should find better friends

[RingOfFire]

I wouldn't tell him. He is a psycho and you probably won't get any money out of him anyway. He doesn't deserve to know. I also wouldn't want him to be around my child. You will be better off raising your kid without him.

[Jamie05rhs]

He's probably gonna find out. But yeah, you shouldn't tell him. (I'm sorry if this is an unpopular opinion.) I don't think he has a right to be in his child's life, let alone your life.

[artgorgeous]

So you broke up but not broke up. In this case you should tell him but not.

[Anonymous]

Bm1 had the right idea and should be all the warning you need. She moved away to escape. He physically hurt you and went to jail for it. Do you want that around your baby?

[Twalli]

Tell him, but also say that he isn't a father as of now, so unless he changes he will only be known to your child as "the sperm donor".

[Jmmmfi4]

You probably should...& congratulations you both ruined your lives getting pregnant so young

[Iron_Man]

What do you think of chorus?

[Iron_Man]

Of course

[In_Trance]

tell him