Search Results: okay to say no

It started with mutual attraction. The question came of if he's in a relationship he admitted upfront that he's in a fucked up situation of being legally married but due to immigration he can't leave until his citizenship is granted. It's already in the process. The person he is married to is on the same wavelength, they want to get divorced but they will wait until his process is over.

There is no issue in our relationship except this HUGE one. The reason I constantly feel torn on walking away is because he's the most amazing man ever, flaws and all. And I believe that what we have is irreplaceable. I walk around happy as fuck because of him but with a weight on my shoulder.

In honesty, the government system where I live is very fucked up and they literally treat immigrants like shit unless you are filthy rich. So for no logical reason other than being cruel even when you have all requirements met, they give appointments then keep rescheduling and putting it off. Realistically in my country the process of getting citizenship then residency takes 10+ years.

He doesn't want to start the process over in divorcing her and marrying me because it's been about 4/5yrs already and he finds it stressful to start over. I am telling him that makes no sense since he will therefore be chained to her for an indefinite number of years, unhappy and preventing us from having a free relationship.

It's a tough decision but when I talk about it he seems defeated. I say if he doesn't know what to do then that in itself is a choice. He says I don't understand because it's his whole life he's built here that he could lose by choosing to get a divorce before having his citizenship at least. I am concerned that we won't be able to raise a family because my biological clock is ticking. I also hate having to be okay with him living there with her and her family. We can't live together. We can't be seen. My family wants to meet him. Tell me your thoughts. It's almost been 3years.