Do I choose my ex or current boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

So here goes nothing , I was in a relationship for 4 years with my high school sweetheart , we had a lot of problems in our relationship for starters it started off on a lie , he lied about his ex girlfriend he just broke up with her the same day he got with me. Then he lied about still talking to her. I probably should've left but I stayed because I saw something with him. During the 4 years he lied to me a lot about his where he was , he would say one thing but later the truth came out and he expected me to be okay with it. There was a girl towards the end he wasn't seeing her but she was his best friend who came out of no where but was sleeping with his male best friend , my ex kept going to visit her and sleeping over by her house which caused a lot strain between us in the end he broke up with me because I made him choose her or me. I begged him to take me back and he did but a few months down the line one night I went out with some friends and met someone who gave me different feelings and we kissed so i basically cheated in my ex with current and left him for my current. I kept going back to my ex even with my current, we slept together and wanted to go back but he fucked me over and told my current everything because he saw me on a date wit him. My current boyfriend was willing to stay with me and he did but things aren't the same. My ex is back and wants me back and I want him back coz I dunno if it's a trauma bond or what but we can't seem to leave each other alone we stop talking for a fewomths and then just find a way back to each other. He is the only person who gets me and knows the real me and hasn't given up on me no matter what. My current boyfriend is also a different race and religion from me so his mother isn't a fan of that at all and makes it known he is also a mummy's boy , I've had dates canceled coz his mother said he can't go or she needs him to go shopping with her when she knows we had plans. I dunno what to do honestly.

[PrettyPriya]

Honestly, all I really needed to read about was the lying. That would be enough for me to never consider dating him again. He seemed to lie a lot and have no issue doing it. He obviously doesn't have your best interest in mind if he can so freely lie like that.

Do you think he is going to change? I don't. You mention months of lying about things. The other part is he is lying about his ex. He clearly still has an attachment to her in some way and therefore is emotionally cheating on you as well as lying.

These are red flags and you need to just forget about him. Even in your details you indicate that you two aren't really good for each other but keep ending up together. He isn't going to change and will keep lying to you because he knows there is little to no consequence of doing so. You will go back to him even if he does. Just break the circle and move on. That is in your own best interest.

[Asker]

Any advice on the current boyfriend

[PrettyPriya]

That is a tough one. That is something that maybe you stick with and perhaps his mother will start to understand he wants to be with you. She may also get to know you better and things could change. Then again, they may never if it is due to some religious belief.

I just wouldn't bother with the ex. Just from your description, it sounds as if he doesn't know what he wants, willing to lie to you and has learned you will keep going back no matter what he does. I don't think much will change there.

I hope you are able to find some middle ground with your current boyfriend's family and they accept you. That would be the best outcome. Even if your boyfriend or both of you can sit down and talk to his mom. Just seems like there is more potential there to me. Hope things work out for you.

[Asker]

I've been with my current for a year and there's stil no change from his mother , I dint think she'll ever accept me and he won't go against her. Thank you for the advice though it did help a bit.

[PrettyPriya]

That is a tough situation. Sorry to hear it doesn't seem like it will ever change. I'm sure you are a lovely person and if she just got to know you better and she would get past whatever religious/race hangup she has, she would understand you are good for her son.

What a bummer when people do that and cloud a view of someone based on beliefs that shouldn't matter. Well, I'm glad I helped even a little. I wish you all the best.

[Changiis07]

It sounds to me that you should not go back with either one specially the ex. Just because he knows you and there is a bond as you say doesn't mean things will work out. If he was lying and all then there is no trust in that relationship. You can choose to stay friends but that more than likely won't work. It also sounds like you need some time to heal some time to be alone instead of begging anyone to stay with you. Once you love and respect yourself you won't settle for these men also work on yourself so that when you do have a good guy you are able to commit. I can give you advice but at the end of the day you get to choose what you want

[Man-O-Metal]

WHAT. THE. FRICK. Goodness gracious... This is season 2 episode 15 of ANY teen drama series. This is what's put at the end of the season to rekindle people's interest and leave a cliff hanger. You just wouldn't like anything I have to say so I will spare you the response and just say, I am sorry but I cannot help you.

[Iron_Man]

why do you take on new boyfriends if women like you always go back to the ex

[Asker]

Maybe because of guys like you who make us feel the ex was better than dealing with a close minded person

[Iron_Man]

Why me?

[Asker]

Why women like me?

[Admirahurrem]

It's a crazy mess and at this rate you might as well have an open relationship with your ex where your together but can see others , I don't recommend it as sometimes it gets stick but if your on and off then you might as well be open relationship lol no judgement

[Anonymous]

Do you or do you not respect your current boyfriend? Sounds like you are using him as a rebound/placeholder.

[truthisthree]

this is a giant mess I do not know how to answer honestly

[Guy13]

Sounds like you made up your mind…

[Asker]

What if it's the wrong choice?

[Guy13]

I don't know...

[boobliker]

only you can make that choice

[In_Trance]

Neither