Is this fair or is my family being over protective/controlling since I’m a girl?

[JaxiCats]

This is long

So I live with my mom and grandma. I have a boyfriend who I’ve been with for a year and a half now. Anyway ever since introducing him to my family over a year ago they don’t seem to trust him or me with him… my brother would have his brother in law who’s the same age as us watch after us, anything that seems inappropriate even if it’s not everyone gets on us about and getting mad. My mom claimed that we could spend the night with each other just over his house and not all the time (obviously). Ask if I can and I immediately get refused. She then says (this was last year) that she wants us to graduate first and all that, okay so we graduate I ask again and she says no on the statement that my grandma is old fashioned and that she’s trying to slowly introduce her into the idea. Okay sure what. I then have a mental breakdown and I’m talking to my mom about moving in with my boyfriend (my family is no help to my mental health and they won’t listen to anything regarding it (I’m fine ig to them just shitty cuz I can’t be with my boyfriend which isn’t the case my attitude began before even dating him). My mom says do it slowly and all that, that she understands and stuff. So I’m over there with him a lot more often yet my family is upset cuz he’s not over here with us as often claiming that they need to get used to him being part of my life (they got mad at him a lot for stuff I wanted to do like staying out till 5am on prom night which I get but I was never given a curfew but according to my mom and his mom I had until 6am but the next day when he comes over to see me everyone gets mad at him making him cry and feel bad according to my mom and my brother and all that I had to be home by 2 am. While at prom my mom was texting me that it would be my ass if anyone was lying to her about that night. More time later my mom gets upset whenever I go to ask her if I can go out with my boyfriend and gives me a curfew like if I go out at 2 I have to be home by 8.

[WeirdoFriendly]

I wouldn't say they're being over protective of you. (Granted, I did only read half of what you wrote). However, my parents were the same way with my older brother. I suppose that parents just don't want us to make a bad decision. Even if we have thought it out or talked with our partner about it, they may think it a mistake.

Also, if you need someone to talk to or someone who'll listen to you, then I'd be happy to help you out with whatever you may need. Mentally or physically or parently.

I wish you well

[Chaser3232]

Legally being 18 you’re an adult, however you’ll still be put up with a lot of bullshit. Stand your ground, voice your concerns, and be an adult.

[JaxiCats]

My concerns don’t matter to them I’m usually told to be quiet or go on somewhere at least by my grandma. I’m always being smart or something towards her

[Chaser3232]

Until you start standing up for yourself, and showing them that you are an adult, things are going to go as they want! However, be ready for a rocky road and a lot of time alone from the family.

[JaxiCats]

That’s what I’m not ready for. I’m alone enough as is and my mental health is shut the last thing I want or need is that big of an argument with them and getting my whole family on me about my decision

[Chaser3232]

Find a professional to help you navigate this time in your life, check out your health clinic!

[JaxiCats]

I’m working on it now thankfully

[Chaser3232]

You come first, always remember that. Your mental health is paramount!