Guy friend talks to me everyday and night over the past 8 months, so what are we now?

[Anonymous]

This guy friend I met through our mutual friend started talking to me everyday without fail since last July. He'll text me in the day time while he's working, sometimes call me right after work and another phone call at night. Phone calls at night usually lasts at least for an hour and ends when both of us feel tired. Our conversations isn't flirty and cheesy. Our topics are random little things from our daily lives like work issues, family,future career and even what we feel like buying.

He introduced me to his best guy friends and I'll join them sometimes for movie,dinner or meals. He rarely asks me out alone but we did went for dinners and movie alone sometimes.

During the 3rd month of this thing going on, I did asked him once in front of a few of our mutual friends after a few drinks about why he calls me every night and texts me everyday. He just smiled and said that he likes to talk and hang out with me. He felt that he could connect and talk to me comfortably.

When he was driving me home that night he told me he wasn't looking for a relationship right now. And he felt like he could talk to me. He often tells me he would like to start a family at this ideal age and hopes to get a daughter. And his ideal girlfriend would be fair, petite.( totally opposite from my appearance).

He'll be very dressed down when we're out and when I asked him why is he dressed so sloppyish he'll say he'll only dress up and put on cologne when he's wooing someone.

Are we purely friends or are we something else?

Normally girl and guy friends wouldn't talk to each other everyday isn't it? Though It's kind of nice to have someone to talk to everyday even though he isn't a boyfriend.

I often feel that I'm being used like a phone operator or an entertainer. Or probably I'm friend zoned right?

Updates

+1 y

I don't mind having him as friend though. He's almost like a guy version of me and he agrees to that too. We're comfortable around each other and I could be myself when I'm around him.


Perhaps this is the first time a guy friend is so close to me and girl being a girl would be thinking a lot. Is this considered as a platonic friendship?

[kelley4321]

Unfortunately, it sounds like he isn't into you romantically at all. It sounds like you're not his type physically since he outright told you to your face that his type was totally different from how you look. Doesn't sound like he was just saying that to share information. You had clearly inquired about where things were going and he tried a "nice way" of telling you it wouldn't happen by describing his ideal mate as someone very different from you.

If you feel like he's using you then maybe don't make yourself so available. It might be hard because you have feelings for him, but just don't respond when he calls or texts everyday. You don't have to stop being friends with him, but just making yourself less available will give him the hint that he shouldn't be bothering you so much. Plus it will help you get over him.

[Asker]

Thanks for the answer, his ex girlfriend was totally different from what he'd described.

There was this time when I couldn't attend his birthday as I was sick and he called & texted every 2 hrs to ask if I was better and able to go. I also felt very disappointed that I couldn't make it there.

Why does he wants me there so much?

[udolipixie]

Guy friend talks to me everyday and night over the past 8 months, so what are we now?

Friends.

Are we purely friends or are we something else?

Most likely friends.

Normally girl and guy friends wouldn't talk to each other everyday isn't it?

It's not normal in my observations as it seems guys are only interested in f*cking gals not befriending them so whenever they are friends with a gal it's because they want to f*ck her, want to f*ck her friends, or use her as a wingwoman to get gals to f*ck.

I often feel that I'm being used like a phone operator or an entertainer. Or probably I'm friend zoned right?

Considering he never asked you out and you never asked him out then yes you are "friend zoned".

[Asker]

Hmm, he did asked me out to cycle and have dinner after work. But I rejected both the last time as I was not feeling well and was busy. I've seldom initiate to hang out though. This is confusing..

[luvspider]

this has happened to me several times...for now I think he sees you as a friend,and its a good thing...it means you are a real nice person,if it doesn't go any where you can have some one you can feel comfortable talking to, and that's not a bad thing...

[Asker]

Yea, he's quite a nice friend and I could click with him well. I wouldn't mind being just friends with him.

[Nixalot]

Sorry, but it sounds like you are his confidante. I can't say for sure what is going on with his thoughts, but it really does sound like you are just his friend.

And that isn't true, my best friend used to be a girl and we talked and hung out pretty much every day for years. We both dated other people, never each other as she was basically my sister, but we would tell each other everything.

Its only friend-zoning if you are interested, if you aren't then it is just being friends. Guys like a girl's perspective on life every once and a while

[Anonymous]

I also have a female friend that I talk to pretty much,atimes for 2hrs! on the phone every evening and wejust talk about normal things but recently we talked about the possibilities of getting married and she said she won't be surprised if that happens looking at how our friendship is.

so I think something may develop eventually if you continue and that's if your INTERESTED!

[nitsuj86]

Your are just his female friend. He might like talking to you, but if you talk this much, and he thought you were attractive, you would already be dating.

You either need to get over it, or stop being his "friend". You are basically the nice guy waiting around for him to realize it's always been you. You'll be waiting forever. Men don't play those games.

He doesn't like you. I think you should stop talking to him. Tell him that's what girlfriends are for, and if he doesn't see you that way. Then you need your space to move on. You aren't friends if you are in love with him.

[TheThingALing]

"I often feel that I'm being used like a phone operator or an entertainer. Or probably I'm friend zoned right?"

You really think for one second that he really derives more emotional benefit from chatting with you for hours each night for the last 8 months then you? If he does then that's the first I've ever heard of.

There's always some weird outlier but I'd bet he totally into you and wants you to be the one who appears more into him the he into you so that he can maintain a more attractive role.

[TheThingALing]

He's telling you he wants to settle down. That's not what guys say when they still in the mode of just having fun with as many girls as they can. So I bet he hasn't been the most sexually active guy these last 8 months. Which tells me, he may be just putting on a front to appear like he can get whoever but in reality has some issue that holds him back

[Paris13]

He appears to just Think of you as a Good Friend. However, Time passes No One and One Never Knows how it Goes------He may fall in Love with you. You are NUMBER ONE RIGHT NOW. No other girl. And... He could be Doing so Right under your Nose. xxoo

[DermalPunch]

Nothing. You are his phone buddy. 99% of men's mission is to get all the benefits of a relationship without the responsibility of one. That's where you are.

[Anonymous]

uh you're friends... 8 months makes you think any different? really? doesn't mean he's romantically interested.

[Anonymous]

I'm dealing with this right now. What ever happened between you guys?
I worry about being an entertainer or ego boost to this guy as well.

[TheThingALing]

there's your problem right there

[TheThingALing]

Guys need to chase the women at the beginning. Then in relationship, roles should flip on who should be doing the chasing

[TooHot2Care]

HAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH 😂🫵🏿

[frenchy21]

his sees you as a friend , how do you see him and would like like him to be more ,

[Anonymous]

I had female friend like you i can call her whenever I want n talk hours but we're friends with benefits..

[EaterPeter]

At this point anything you two want. You may want to ask him clearly when not drunk

[EaterPeter]

Lot of us guys take for ever to ask out

[EaterPeter]

2 of the women I dated at different times. We were phone friends jist like you for 5 months before they got tired I guess 🙂 and said what next

[EaterPeter]

Try new kiss your best friend trend

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he's made you into his emotional tampon. Usually its chicks who do that to guys.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Sounds totally like the friend zone.

[LiamJHayden]

You are friends who talk a lot.

[cutepixiee]

i think you guys are just really great friends!!

[itsalyssaagain]

Your friend zoned.

[Anonymous]

It mean you both are sociopath