Search Results: do people really change

28F, I haven’t dated someone in years & haven’t met someone from a dating app in over a yr. I’m at the point where I just don’t feel the desire to be active on them & use them kind of sporadically throughout the week. I’m really worried that years down the line I will regret being as isolated as I’ve been, considering I don’t have a social life. I don’t want kids & when it comes to friendships, I don’t put myself out there either. I just don’t have the energy to deal with people, most friends I’ve had throughout the years I’ve cut off. Im not one to settle with people’s bs for the sake of not being alone, I’m quick to cut people off when they do things that bother me after an extended amount of time. With dating, I haven’t had sex or masturbated in years. I find men attractive but sometimes I wonder if men like me. I’m told I’m cute/attractive & getting matches on the apps have never been the issue. It usually just doesn’t work out & it can go both ways, I never get approached by guys that’s always been my reality. People are a lot of work & relationships are too much work at times, I’m kind of apathetic but my anxiety takes over at times. Maybe the right person will change everything.

I’m sure many people go after peopke when they are uncertain bc with all the advice on acting like you DO like someone when you don’t and acting like you DON’T like someone when you do, how can anyone really know for sure. Usually takes time 🤷🏻‍♀️ but I’m wondering how common it is for people to go after someone once they have been explicitly told NO. I’m not interested in a relationship.

I know I have said this many times and it was always taken as a game or worse, that I just don’t understand my own feelings 🙄 each time I said it I went it. There were times when I was uneasy but recognized i may want to try and I’m gonna have to go real slow, and this was very different from “ no absolutely not” and sone tones it was bc I didn’t want a relationship and wasn’t into the person.

Sometimes I very much liked the person but did not want a relationship. It’s really awkward to tell someone you don’t want a relationship when they don’t ask directly but Persue you anyhow and each time I had to wait until they said something or Reyes something out if respect bc I didn’t want to assume, so I really encourage people to be DIRECT. It saves everyone time & dignity.

I never became interested in a relationship based on the person changing my mind. It was based on when I had decided I don’t disapprove of being emotionally intimate with someone and for me that’s rare.

Anyhow, I’m my case people obit ever benefited being upfront. Inversely I’ve never had luck being upfront. It’s taken as a game or they play games, oh well. In my perfect universe everyone is direct and they get their kicks from fun stuff not d*cking people around. One can dream 🤷🏻‍♀️