Search Results: how do i make her believe me

I know every couple’s dynamic is different & what may seem dysfunctional or not the usual for some might actually work for others. My mom and her boyfriend have been together since I was 8 (over 20 years) and almost the whole time they’ve been together, they get in verbal fights where they’re cursing each other out a lot/insulting etc. They bounce back quickly enough tho, another thing I’ll add is my mom is the breadwinner. This has always been the case, she makes the money & he takes care of everything else. He is very useful when it comes to handy things, has a ged but has a criminal record (he can’t work bc if the govt. tracks him then he’ll get caught for unpaid child support). She nitpicks at him a lot & he reacts, plus I know he can say ignorant crap that gets her heated too. It goes both ways, I know people looking in think they might sound miserable or that setup is messy but I do genuinely believe they actually love each other. Is this something that I’d want for myself? Absolutely not but I guess never say never? Is it normal for couples to get that heated with each other often? The thing is: my mom always comes across as positive and seems content. I can’t tell if it’s for the sake of her kids or maybe she’s really in a good place with this guy

I always think of myself as very straightforward and someone who appreciates the opportunity to be direct (direct in terms of honesty if not brevity) to make sure that things don’t get unnecessarily confusing. I suppose we can I say I believe very strongly in being direct. I absolutely have no interest in being evasive…

However, in practice, often times when met with specific situations, I’m surprised at how NON-ecstatic I am to discuss things. (Not thinking of anything in particular at the moment, I’m just reflecting overall)

I think I’m finding a discrepancy between my opinion of how direct I am and how actually direct I am in ALL situations. Of course it’s Fairly easy to be direct about something that you want to be directed, but of course.

And of course we’re all going to have behavioral practices that differ from our ideas of how we behave but I think usually there there’s a pretty strong overlap. Well I guess unless you’re totally delusional, but let’s take for granted most of us aren’t totally delusional..

I think im _not_ direct a lot more often than I think i am. At least I WANT to be. That’s important 😅

Anyhow, I don’t know what stops me… True, it’s uncomfortable but I think 78% of my life has been uncomfortable so I don’t see that as being the main culprit. I don’t know firsthand that information is way worse in the long run.

Maybe I’m fairly certain they’re not going to understand if I try to explain and so I’m just saving us both time by saying nothing 🤔 that’s possible.

29F and I’ve always questioned how almost every pretty woman I’ve come across is always in a relationship with an equally attractive guy. When I was chubby younger, I thought losing weight would solve everything and it hasn’t. I feel like regardless of what anyone else says, I’ll always wholeheartedly believe attractive women have no issue finding a partner & they have life easier. I’ve been told I’m attractive by a variety of people for most of my life, even when I was chubby. I’m not thin, 5’7 women’s US 10 so midsize but I have that thicker thigh/flatter stomach build. The only time I get attention from guys I find attractive are on dating apps and that’s not telling in my opinion. I’ve been told this guy looked at me/this guy found me attractive from other people but the guy never makes it known to me. And there’s been very very few times where I would see an attractive guy making eye contact with me or at least caught my gaze but I just look away b/c I don’t see the point. I’m anxious/reserved but a lot of people with anxiety are in fulfilling relationships