Search Results: how to be more attractive

We’re currently in a dating app era & the idea behind dating apps seems practical yet you hear more bad than good things about them. Almost 30 & I’ve never been in a LTR, I have accomplished everything I currently want out of life but been able to find a quality guy. I’ve owned a condo & strive to eventually own a home in a few years, are dating apps to blame behind being single or is there more to it (aka am I the issue)? I’ve been told I’m attractive by all kinds of people for a good chunk of my life but I’ve never been approached in person by a guy I’d like to date (getting checked out doesn’t count).
The only times guys I find attractive have acknowledged me were on dating apps, it’s just there’s times where maybe I feel burnt out & can’t be bothered to end up meeting that guy in person.

Or when I feel like I have *options*/ I’m in a mood where I just don’t want to put in the effort. And when the app outlook looks dismal at a given moment (like now), I consider deleting & reinstalling at a later time. I get bored after communicating too long etc, it may seem like self sabotage topped with my terrible anxiety but I’ve never felt SO unsure about something in my life & that *something* is dating. Unsure if my lack of libido/lack of interest in being sexual might play a part (no health issues). There’s always that voice in the back of my mind that makes me think the right guy will change all of that but who really knows. I’m worried I’ll be shriveled up & when I finally have that drive, it’ll be too late to find a match. I heard an influencer say the other day that there shouldn’t be pressure or a rush to date, it’s an opportunity that’ll always be available.

TL; DR: Is dating hard for most? And is my case bad luck or someone unsure of what she wants?

My mom would always mention that this guy I’m attracted to gives good hugs and he smells good.

The story is my mom goes to her boyfriend’s church and her boyfriend wanted to find me a boyfriend. I never had a boyfriend or really got male attention… my mom on the other hand had many love stories… her boyfriend bought her roses every Wednesday when she 16…. Whenever she told her MANY stories I would get sad. She is more attractive. I don’t really look like her…

So he recommended a guy at church… he’s very attractive and a lot of girls like him… he has brought women to church…(I live away but I come visit from time to time)

He has been close to a woman in her 40s at church.. he was into her. my mom is in her 50s..

But I was so excited bc I thought he was attractive and I would dress up … whenever I talked to my mom about him she would get quiet. She also said that I should wait until I get my weight down. I remember “talking back “ to my mother before going to a church picnic to see him …she said “he deserves a girlfriend who is respectful “ … I didn’t go… I felt self conscious and decided not to like him

I do remember finally being introduced and he did glance back at me before walking out the door.

My mom is more attractive so…

im going to get some work done

I’m possibly moving to another country to make my family with someone from that other country.

I don’t know the language I just know some words. So i told him that while he’s at work, I’m gonna be going to school to learn his language

he quickly said no!
I thought he was joking so I laughed

he said no.
Because I could meet someone there better than him & leave him.

that never crossed my mind. I’m going there to make a family not to try to find someone else. I’m 39 years old. I can’t be wasting time. I look really young but I’m not young. If I were younger then I would understand him, but I just want to make a family.

he said I should find something to do in his flat while he returns from work. Also that I should not work because I have to raise our kids.

I agree with him mostly as I don’t trust random babysitters but I want to go to school at least for learning the language and to the gym to stay fit but after he said this I didn’t even mention the gym anymore

I’ve been single almost my whole life. I don’t really find anyone attractive around me and I almost never go out so nobody approaches me. I feel he is my only chance If I even want to try to have a family.

BUT does what he said sound Scary? Creepy?
I also notice one of the doors in the videos and photos he’s sent me, has multiple locks on it. I asked why so many locks on a door, it seems rather creepy. And he was insulted by it saying I think he’s a serial killer. I didn’t say that. But it did cross my mind.

if I don’t go to him, the chances of me finding someone fast and telling him I need to make babies asap! Is very low probably less than 1% most men would flee at the sound of me saying any of that. They would want to get to know me first and then see how it goes etc etc

don’t really have time for that. I need to make a baby asap.

so having said all that,

what would you do if you were me? After what he said. Is it very weird or just a little?