Search Results: settling for someone

Just a FYI I am both unmarried and don’t have kids. I actually want both but I have just never found the right person for that. There was one person I met years ago who could of been that person but it didn’t work out. She happened to meet me at a specific period in my life which was the wrong time.

Anyway get how becoming a parent can radically change your life. I have nieces and nephews and I observed how my brother went from a carefree assholish “bro dude” to a hard working responsible adult very quickly. He tells me that although he sometimes misses his bachelorhood that overall being a dad and getting married really is the best for him. Also he wasn’t serious about his career/education but he actually completed college a few years after his daughter was born. Him and his wife actually make a decent income with their combined salary.

My sister has become a mother too. She works in education and surrounded by lots of leftist unmarried women. Yes her and her husband are overall very happy they have become parents.

Anyway I don’t want to pot calling the kettle black given my bachelorhood/fatherhood student. However I could settle down with the right person. But if I don’t find her I’m also at peace with that possibility.

But seriously does being unmarried and lifelong childless seriously appeal to many people? Maybe it does in your 20s. But a part of me regrets not settling down with someone earlier.

So I’m 29 and I have never dated anyone before, I have also never been in a relationship obviously. I’m asking this because I get the feeling that if I start dating now, most of the girls in my age group will have settling down in mind when they’re looking for a partner, it seems like the fun phase of dating is over after your early 20’s and most wanna get more serious and settle down after that, but am I wrong. I have the fear that I’m gonna come across a lot of girls who want to settle down, something I’m not even close to being ready for since I’ve never dated and it won’t work out. To be fair, I also wouldn’t want to date someone who’s looking to settle down just like she probably wouldn’t be interested in dating a guy who isn’t ready for that. Do you think this will be an issue?

It's often that you'll hear people say to "never settle" when it comes to dating. People also criticize others for being too picky--like telling a friend that they're pushing away great people over a long checklist of qualifications.

So my question to you is: what should we do? should we settle for someone who doesn't meet our original expectation for a boyfriend/girfriend/spouse, or should we wait it out and hope for that special someone that we've always imagined to come along?

Just as some thoughts:

Merits to settling include: making it easier to get into a nice relationship. Giving an ordinarily overlooked persona a chance, and breaking the trend of leaving "average" people alone and dsingle, in favor of clamoring after the people that everyone else already likes.

Merits to never settling include preventing a relationship with a dissatisfying partner, avoiding regrets in your relationship, and being absolutely certain that your choice of partner was the best.

So what do you think?

Also, listen to Bo Burnham's song about it when you get the chance. You'll laugh. It's called "Lower Your Expectations."