Avoidant girlfriend. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

My best-friend turned boyfriend and I have been together for a few months now.

Recently, all his negative traits are all I can ever see. It’s getting unhealthy since it pushes me to want to break up. I couldn’t help but feel that I cannot deal with some of his negative traits and if there’s a chance that I could, I’m afraid I would end up getting exhausted and extremely burnt out from him.

I feel like this is my avoidant side talking. He’s an anxious avoidant person by the way. I try to think of all his positive traits as I know the good ones should outweigh the bad ones but unfortunately, it’s getting really difficult.

I feel like I don’t want to do this relationship thing again or start over with someone else should things go awry with us that’s why I’m settling with him. I love him as my bestie. He knows my deepest and darkest secrets, great in bed, kind, and loyal.

Are those enough reasons to be with someone? Any advice on how should I proceed with our relationship?

[slatyb]

No, they aren't. It's not working. He's not the last man on the planet. He can be a friend, but it seems clear you can't form a harmonious partnership.

How should you proceed? Maybe couples therapy. Maybe you should separate and both get counseling. Your willingness to stay in a relationship that is making you miserable is a strong indicator that you need to work on yourself.

[Carolus]

Early signs that this relationship ain’t happening.

[rabbitzzz]

women ☕