Is it normal to be sad you're not your partners ideal body type?

[Anonymous]

Recently, I had a hard time realizing that I'm not my boyfriends ideal physical partner. He says he thinks I'm beautiful even though I'm not his ideal and I fulfill him in a lot of other ways. He says we have compatibility in all the ways that matter. I still feel unattractive and apathetic about it. Why be in a relationship if your partner doesn't see you as the most attractive person?

[spartan55]

Again, where are you finding these colossal shitheads? I would NEVER say something like that to my SO. If I did actually feel that way I wouldn't be with her.

[Asker]

They are kind of everywhere unfortunately 😅

[spartan55]

No, they really aren't. You just choose to date them. Raise your standards.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes that’s normal to feel sad. I feel like most people want to be desirable. You may now worry that he’s lying when he compliments you

[BarryLiverstone]

What’s his ideal body type?

[Asker]

Yeah compliments don't hit the same at all. I feel bad because I know he's trying. I don't think he meant to hurt my feelings. Certainly regrets it now

[Asker]

A thin redhead. I'm a short thick, Hispanic girl

[BarryLiverstone]

Well short will not change. You can be healthy regarding thick. Why do you think he only likes red heads?

[Asker]

Pokemon. Always had a crush on Misty. I used to have an ED so I try not to diet too hard and my body composition is just wider than a thin girl. Weight loss is a tricky thing. I'm not too overweight for body comp.

[BarryLiverstone]

If you are not overweight then maybe get a red wig? The thing is he’s not going to date misty. He’s dating you. He wouldn’t have been your boyfriend if he wasn’t attracted to you. Right?

[Asker]

Yeah that's true. Hard to remind myself that actually matters. He was single for 5 years before we got together. He says I bring him peace like he's never felt.

[BarryLiverstone]

I’ll be 100% honest. As a guy, does his penis get hard? If it does, then throw away your doubt. Work on your self confidence and give him your love.

Sorry if that was gross

[Asker]

It's alright. Yeah we have a lot of sex actually. He says he always excited to see me and is very enthusiastic in bed.

[BarryLiverstone]

Well there you go. Nothing to stress about. Be sad for 10 min, then realize you are blessed and can be happy with him

[Asker]

Thank you 😊 this massively helped

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome

[Apple1996]

This is why I cannot be with a guy that has a type

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the classic dilemma of not fitting into the picture-perfect frame of your partner's "ideal" - let's unpack that! First off, it’s super common to feel a twinge (or a truckload) of insecurity if you think you're not ticking all the boxes in your partner’s eyes. But here’s the twist - those ideal types are often just that, ideals. They're like those shiny toys we thought we needed as kids until we found something much better – real connection and compatibility.

Your beau is singing ballads about how you fulfill him in ways far beyond the physical. That's like hitting the jackpot in the relationship world! Compatibility, shared laughter, emotional connection - that's the stuff of legends. It’s essential, though, to address your feelings of feeling unattractive or apathetic directly. These feelings are valid and worth exploring, perhaps through open communication with your partner and some self-love exercises. Remember, attractiveness blooms in the environment of appreciation and love—both for yourself and from your partner. Keep the conversation going, lovebomb each other with kindness, and who knows? You might see that this situation is more about expanding notions of attraction than fitting into a predetermined mold. Stay fabulous, and let the love grow!

[Asker]

Thank you, I appreciate your kind well thought out answer. I got out of a relationship previous to this one where I was emotionally/sexually abused. I despised myself and thought I was only around for the physical pleasure of others. My boyfriend is the first person to actually see me as person and love me anyway. I want to give the best I can for him, but I'll never fit into his ideal body type. I think that's what makes me the most sad.

[Bricealan]

Personally... he is an idiot for saying that!

People (women and men alike) make thoughtless and rude comments that they should keep their mouth shut about... Kick him to the curbe.

[jjj101010]

How did u find this out. R u guessing or did he tell u

[Asker]

He told me after a conversation about childhood crushes. He finished the conversation by saying he wanted to go to Ireland to f all the redheads there. I don't think he was trying to be mean

[jjj101010]

So maybe he would like u to dye ur hair?

[jahaims]

Weird thing to dwell on

[Asker]

Maybe? I found a lot of Reddit threads and articles talking about this very thing. So it's common enough for there to be content about it.

[jahaims]

Yeah, 8 billion people exist. People eat shit for fun, too. That doesn't mean it's not weird.