Do other married men find themselves in this position?

[Anonymous]

A couple months ago I overheard a conversation between my mother and her friend. Her friend is in her early 50's and got married at the late age of 35.

She had her first child the following year (age 36) and then twin boys at age 38. She claims to be happily married and that he's a great man, cares for/loves him, never cheated but she's not in love with him and never found him sexually attractive. She admitted to fantasizing about her two past lovers during intimacy. I saw the man once and he isn't attractive at all. He's a decade older than her, a bit overweight, awkward in conversations and just not someone a girl would fall madly in love with.

Does this happens to other married men? The woman never cheated, stays married to him and takes her vow seriously but she's not in love in him and isn't sexually attractive to him? He's just her last minute, safe option that she got in her 30's because her past bfs never proposed. Basically she accepted her fate of permanently settling with him.

Updates

+1 y

He doesn't know that she's just settling for him. He's not exactly the man she ever wanted as first option but it's what she got.

[Summeroflove]

Hard truth. Many people aren’t honest about why they got married and waste someone’s life. Why? They are getting older. They want kids, they want someone for financial stability, who makes them feel safe, who gives the benefits of having a relationship, for appearances, and they frankly know time is running out before they hit menopause and their chances of having kids goes down. So they manipulate someone.

Fantasizing is emotionally cheating and we all know if the right opportunity come about that most people would act on it if they knew they would never get caught.

Many men are cheated on. Especially narcissists. They know that the drama. The toxicity. The games… they know that will never lead to a serious relationship. But they also become very bored in stable relationships. If they can’t cause issues and drama inside of it. They will likely cheat and will cheat anyways. Heck, even if they married someone whose toxic. They would cheat with people who aren’t. They aren’t ever happy.

[DavidRaul]

Sometimes we settle for what we think we deserve

[Asker]

That woman admitted getting him was better than nothing. Her time was running out and she just got what was available.

[DavidRaul]

Yeah that's what i meant. She thought she deserved him because she had no options left. The truth is that she should have waited a bit