MARRIED MEN: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN THIS SITUATION?

[Anonymous]

My best friend saw this text in her husband’s phone to his coworker about some cakes that arrived for her at their job:

Him: [insert girls name] you have some nice cakes. *1 minute pause* in this Mastro’s bag.

Her: I do don’t I😇

Him: 😂😭

My friend and her husband are very loyal to one another. They don’t even believe in the other having friends of the opposite sex (meaning texting, hanging out, etc.) She’s pissed because he flirted with this girl but she doesn’t think he’s looking to take it any further seeing as though this is the only flirty text she saw and there was no other known communication afterwards. But now she’s gotten a bit insecure & hasn’t really said much to him for the past few days. He has apologized, explained and apologized again. He also says there’s nothing else for him to say/do. He even suggested going to stay with his parents (in another state) to give her some space (which she didn’t ask for).

Men, if you were him what would? If you were him and you see that your wife is hurt, crying and everything; she’s even telling you how she feels insecure, that she’s lost confidence in you, etc. What would you do and/or say? How would you remedy this situation if you were him?

This question is for men who actually think flirting while married/in a serious relationship is wrong.

Updates

1 y

Forgot to add that the reason he has her number is because he’s an assistant manager. So he has the numbers of all of the people who work under him.

[RavVid]

Difficult because he has done wrong and got caught. I don't think there are any magic words. There are some standbys.

1. Buy some expensive present as penance. In her view that probably increases the degree of the offence.
2. Deny it was flirtatious and claim it was merely humorous. Probably too late for that as he seems to acknowledge it was flirtatious.
3. Denounce the girl as a home wrecking trollop who was targeting him. Deflect the anger. This is plausible.
4. Buy you an expensive present; to tell his wife she has a good man who slipped up trying to be funny in a bad way and she should forgive him.

I think he has to endure purgatory till she has gotten over it. Not that she will ever forgive of course.

[Asker]

Lol! He did tell her it was just a joke but that did NOT fly. I don't know why he thought she’d accept that considering if she had said to a male coworker “You have a nice print….. on your wall (art print)” he would definitely not let her get away with saying it was just a joke.

#3. The “joke” was initiated by him so yeah that’ll make it worse because he’d be lying.

A mix of #1 & #4 is definitely the best way to go. I don’t need a gift but thanks for throwing that in there lol He is a good man but his so called joke went too far and definitely turned into a disaster.

She’ll forgive him but it’s going to take time. Now she’s dealing with insecurities that she didn’t even have before this.

[RavVid]

Yeah a mix of #1 & #4 is definitely the way to go.

I think you definitely deserve a present for saving his ass. The wife's/girlfriend's girlfriends can be a great asset in a relationship so he should be nice to you.

[Dormiensmortem]

I wouldn't be with a woman who forbids me from having female friends, because that's already reason enough to think that she doesn't trust me in the first place.
Now, if I did this to my girlfriend, I would have done anything I could to win back her trust. I would even leave if she wanted me to, because I wouldn't have deserved her.

[Asker]

I don’t know why you assume she forbade it🤔 It was a mutual agreement. They both knew what type of relationship/marriage they wanted to be in. It works for them. Nothing wrong with that and just because they chose that path it doesn’t mean they don’t trust each other off top. But that’s a whole other topic not relevant to this post.

Anyways, thank you for your feedback. I think you’re the only one that actually answered the question lol

[Gent207]

He's walking a fine line and without further proof of pursuit than any accusations are null and void. Forgiveness is a two-way street they both must cross or the marriage willslowly die from anger

[spartan55]

I'd be wondering why my wife was going through my phone to begin with.

[Asker]

Lol! You’d be more concerned with why she went through your phone than the fact that she saw that you were flirting? That’s interesting.

Anyways, to give a bit of the back story, they were putting their children to sleep but at some point her husband ending up leaving the room. She was looking for her phone but she couldn’t see (it was dark) & ended up grabbing her husband’s instead. At that point she started scrolling through his messages. What made her actually go through with it considering that’s not something she usually does… I don't know. People sometimes get a feeling about certain things I guess🤷‍♀️

[spartan55]

Riiiight it was all a big whoops... bullshit, she obviously didn't trust him before this happened.

[Asker]

Lol you can believe what you want. Thank you for your feedback

[Jamie05rhs]

My question is why wasn't he flirting with his wife? SHE's his flirting partner. Not random chicks. He's #fuckinup.

[Asker]

Agreed!!! Well according to him his intention wasn’t to flirt. He thought of a “joke” and sent it. He said it wasn’t until after he sent it that he realized it was inappropriate and didn’t go any further with it🤷‍♀️

[Jamie05rhs]

Hmm. I say make him eat an entire dinner of plain broccoli.

[Mate99]

That's considered as cheating

[Asker]

Interesting! So what would you do?

[Mate99]

I would never do that first of all. But if my SO is hurt from something then I'll never do it again

[ArtemisSilver]

LoL monogamy