Did I miss the boat on the most fun time to date?

[Anonymous]

I’m almost 30 and have never dated or had a girlfriend, I feel like shit most days because of it. In addition to that, I get the feeling that I completely missed out on the best years of dating (teens and 20’s) since most people say that’s the best time of your life when it comes to dating since most people are just dating for fun and playing the field. But when you get to your 30’s, everyone has settling down in mind and isn’t really dating for fun anymore. As someone who’s never dated, I’m obviously nowhere close to settling down and I feel like I’ve gotten myself into a bad situation where I’m still trying to play the field and have fun while most people my age are looking to settle down.

[Ευδεμονια]

I can relate a lot with your words, I had some (failed) dates until I was 18, then I stopped for almost 10 years. I focused on school and work only, also because I’m introvert and I’ve difficulties at emotion expression so I’ve shielded myself in this situation. Nowadays I recovered and I had few dates this last year but I lastly decided to definitely stop to not have to suffer anymore. Sure I feel like I’ve jumped a whole decade of dating and fun. After 25/30 years old people have to focus on work and to make a living, there’s more mental maturity and there’s sure less time for fun than in 20’s.

[Asker]

Well you still have more experience than I do lol. I’ve only ever been on one date and haven’t had sex since losing my virginity. Honestly at this point, my biggest concern is that no one will even give me a chance since so many girls see a guy at my age with no experience as a big red flag.

[Ευδεμονια]

I have experience only in rejections since I’m still virgin and I haven’t neither kissed.
Sure not have a minimum experience is a red flag and find a woman that accepts a man without any or with low experience is almost impossible. They’re very ruthless in general and they don’t forgive you for that. I may sound harsh but this is my personal experience, and this brought me to stop dating. I hope for you a better future and to find a woman really appreciates you for what you are.

[Asker]

So you have been rejected specifically for being inexperienced and you stopped dating because you couldn’t find anyone who would look past it? Yeah since we both obviously know that the vast majority of girls in our age group have experience, they aren’t interested in dating someone with no experience and don’t want to be a guy’s first because they feel like they’ll have to teach him a bunch of stuff that most other guys his age already know, and apparently they’re also concerned that he’ll become way too clingy because he’ll end up getting too attached since he’s never had a girlfriend before her.

[Ευδεμονια]

It’s exactly as you said, I couldn’t express it better, I relate with all you said. I’ve been rejected also for being unexperienced, obviously it wasn’t the only motivation. Plus I’m introvert and shy and have a rigid mentality so all this is sure a deterrent. As you said, since I’ve been always single, I tend to affectionate a lot to girls, I tried to control myself and this instinct but they notice that thing and gave me shit for that. I also decided to stop dating because I take very bad rejections since I have low self esteem and self acceptation issues, so it is a safe choice to stop hurting myself. I’ll deal with the pain for being alone, but sure it is better than being rejected.
I don’t want to encourage you to take the same choice, since it’s better before having some dates to realise that, I wouldn’t have decided that if I hadn’t dated. Be sure to have your experiences before take this decision, because there’s always a little possibility you find a girl that accepts you with your inexperience… it’s very rare but it’s possible.

[HighValue]

Dating for fun (hook ups or short term relationships) doesn't necessarily lead to happiness. Many men made that mistake in their teens or early 20s and then had child support to pay throughout their whole 20s and most of their 30s too. There are consequences to people's actions.
It is best to think of long term when making decisions in life that matter and can affect you for a long time instead of just thinking of short term fun.

In my opinion, finding someone for an exclusive long term relationship with some common interests to enjoy together, and share in life's experiences together would be more fun than some short term casual stuff.

[Anonymous]

Dating as an adult can be super fun too. There are pros and cons to both dating in your teens/early 20s vs dating as a proper adult. Even as an adult in your late 20s you can still date as if like you were teenagers.

[SeekingVirginWife]

A man can never miss the boat, it is women that have their eggs expire by the age of 30, something women know very little about.

[moviedude714]

A lot of people feel that way unfortunately