Why do dating coaches say men should cold approach women if the chances of success are so low when a woman doesn’t know you and doesn’t trust you?

[Anonymous]

[Vegasrunner]

You're making the mistake of looking at it from a female perspective. Men don't need to have respect for women, to have sex with them. Also your comments show that either you lack experience with women or are a woman pretending to be a man. As a former Nightclub host on the Vegas strip for over a decade I can tell you for a fact that's not true at all. Most women concentrate and have sex w/ the top 20% of men. Are you aware that 1/3 men under 30 are virgins? How many women have you had sex with?

[skidawgkc22]

I had a dating coach on my podcast for a special February 14 episode, and his advice was exactly not this.

The example he gave was: you see a man and a woman chatting and you want to talk to her. Instead of talking to her directly, you should first talk to HIM and see what happens.

[Vegasrunner]

@skidawgkc22 That's the absolute worse pick up advice ever given to man. What was the name of this dating coach and what's the name of your podcast.

[yulbsari]

Wow! Total deception! If I was out with my girl, I would pick up on it immediately...

[skidawgkc22]

@Vegasrunner I never said I followed his advice.

Here's a link to the episode:

uncalledforpod.libsyn.com/saint-archuletas-day-special-with-dale-valor-pat-lamb-and-adam-mckeith

[Vegasrunner]

@skidawgkc22 Now I see your mistake this a random person w/ no following or influence to characterize him as a dating coach is a stretch at best. Why did you have him on tne show anyway, and where is a clip of him actually saying this?

[skidawgkc22]

@Vegasrunner He's the first person I interviewed. I had met him in a Facebook group specifically for finding podcast guests. I put out a call for podcast guests on this specific topic and he was one of several experts to answer but the only one to actually agree to come on.

[Vegasrunner]

@skidawgkc22 Gorcha. Fair enough. Now I understand.

[Jessica405]

They just believe in quantity. If a guy asks 100 girls for her number, they might get 1 genuine number, 49 made up ones, and 50 "rack offs".

I would never give any unknown person anunof my personal details.

[Vegasrunner]

@Jessica405 You almost got it. Women are simply a numbers game. By your own account if a man ask 100 women a day by the end of one month he would have 30 numbers.

[blueonblack22]

This used to make sense @Jessica405 then modern feminism made it into a #metoo offense if a man even makes a woman uncomfortable. This includes a man just saying “hello” to a woman as enough to be “harassment”.

[HelpfulWoman]

dating coaches are basically all scammers.
they'll use the same techniques all the dodgy business practioners do of the "for every 10 no's you'll get 1 yes" kind of deal.

[Asker]

It’s bs. Why wouldn’t you approach 1 or 2 women strategically, with wise patience? But these bs coaches are like: go to her, tell her she is beautiful and get her number. She will most likely be bothered by that. But they say that otherwise you are cunning. Well, just look at some animals, how much they act and pretend in order to get a sexual mate. I’m not saying we should lie, I’m saying that seduction is a game and you can’t expect to seduce anyone like that

[coachTanthony]

How would a woman ever get to the point of knowing you or trusting you if you never say hello?

[Asker]

If you meet her in a group, circle or social setting. Not randomly on the street

[coachTanthony]

LOL that is the best way to meet someone you're not interested in. Go after what you want in life and that includes women.

[Asker]

Well, I’m more interested in people the more I know them

[BonzoInBitburg]

They say that because the best women aren't on dating sites and approaching women works. A guy will get blown off a lot when he starts approaching but eventually it becomes easy. Dating sites are for desperate people and you won't find quality on there.

[Crimsyjo]

We are told that too! That decent confident men won't be on dating sites!
But where do we find these decent men? I go gym, cafes, courses. I don't see any guys I like and even if I did I wouldn't know if they single or how to get their attention enough that they might wanna risk "cold approaching" me?
And yh I know us gals should make the first move sometimes. Much like guys, I'd only do so if there was a hint of interest first (I. e eye contact, smile)

[BonzoInBitburg]

I used to go grocery shopping on Friday nights because I thought that would be my best chance at meeting someone single. I don't know if that's when single men shop but a lot of single women do.

[Crimsyjo]

Really? I finish at 5pm Friday night's. No way in hell would I battle through heavy traffic and go shopping before having to go home, bath, cook, clean and sleep!
Much prefer do a online shop and pick up on my day off. Takes ten mins. No ques or walking up and down aisles haha.

[BonzoInBitburg]

If you want to meet people out and about, you've got to get out and about

[Crimsyjo]

Oh I try. I've joined classes in topics I enjoy, pub social events, go dancing, cafes, gym. I don't know what else i can do!

[Anonymous]

Dating coaches are not there to help you with longterm success. Most women can be talked out of her panties. Getting a woman into bed ain't hard. Keeping her is. That's why coaches tell you this. Because they can help you in the short term. They're like shady car salesman. They get the car to run well enough to get through the test drive and get it sold. After that it's your problem.

[Asker]

Not hard to keep her if you are mentally stable and she is reasonable.

[Lionman95]

Because if you a guy can't approach a woman he'll never find a relationship he's happy in. Most guys are not great at talking to women at first try. So it's a way of practicing and to get used to rejections. The chance of the meeting the woman of your dreams at first sight and she immediately says yes is low in real life so it's better to practice and get self confidence in the process.

[Lionman95]

Sorry please skip the word "you" in the first sentence.

[Asker]

Cold approaching means approaching random women. Why wouldn’t you be happy if in a relationship if you approach women you already know a little bit? If a woman says yes the first time, she is not the woman of your dreams. Who wants to be with a woman who says yes the first time?

[Lionman95]

Sure I wouldn't want a woman either that says yes the first time. But I had made the experience that I asked out a woman I knew a bit and messed up and she told other people so it made the news in our circle of friends. On the other hand it's some way harder to talk to strangers for different reasons as one can't tell if they are married or not.

[Lionman95]

Or taken in general and one needs to be more sensitive to not say something wrong.

[Crazyced]

You might be grossly overestimating what it takes for a woman to trust a man she just met. Hell that bar even changes depending on where in her cycle she is. If she likes what she sees and you are confident and fun to be around that bar can be surprisingly low.

Just don't be a creep.

[Asker]

I’m clearly talking about women who are more sexually restrained and conservative

[meepmeeperton]

I’m guessing it’s more an exercise in getting over your fear of rejection, and getting comfortable approaching women in general. But approaching random women on the street seems like a terrible idea for actually getting a girlfriend.

[Lokiion]

Because you need experience so say you learn all of this advice but never get the chance to use it what was the point? However if you use it when cold approaching you can see what works what doesn’t work how you can kink it into your personality or connect better with whoever you’re talking too etc

[DishLady]

The chances depend on a few different factors -- the event, the location, whether the girl is with her gaggle of friends or not, whether the guy looks like he's approaching bc his posse of friends dared him to... etc etc etc.

[CrabCakes11]

Because they’re grifters who depend on your romantic failure to make money. If their tactics worked they’d have no repeat customers

[Vegasrunner]

@crabcakes11 That doesn't make logical sense.

[CrabCakes11]

@Vegasrunner You can't just say that and expect me to understand what you mean. How?

[Vegasrunner]

@crabcakes11 Because a man's goal is to have multiple women, if a dating coach was successful men would come back everything they needed advice on how to get new women.

[CrabCakes11]

@Vegasrunner the majority of men do not want several women. These online dating coaches market themselves to awkward men who don’t understand how terrible the advice is

[Asker]

@vegasrunner @crabcakes11 Most men I know want to have a serious relationship with a high value woman. It’s actually easy to have multiple cheap women, but it takes more to have a great woman long-term

[CrabCakes11]

That’s what I was saying

[Vegasrunner]

@crabcakes11 Overwhelming majority of men want multiple women, however only a small percentage can pull it off. Male dating coaches have been around for years, and women have been using shaming tactics like yours for years to cope w/ the reality that they aren't as special as they think.

[Vegasrunner]

@asker There's no such thing as a HV woman as woman's value is derived by the caliber of man they can retain. If having multiple women was as easy as you say why are porn and prostitution billion dollar industries?

[Asker]

@Vegasrunner It’s true that men are attracted to multiple women, but that doesn’t mean they respect all of them. If you are at least ‘average’ and you go out from time to time, it is not hard to sleep with women who sleep with any guy at least your caliber. But in addition STD risks, you don’t feel valuable, because you know they would sleep with almost anyone. I can tell you how many women I rejected just because they wanted to have sex after the first date.
It’s great for a guy to know he has options, but most people I know want to have one woman who has higher standards and a low body count

[CrabCakes11]

@Vegasrunner I see, your brain has been rotted by incel content. I’m done talking to you

[Kiss_Me]

The answer is rather obvious.

1. Practice makes men better at meeting and talking to women.

2. Men will have MUCH less dates if they don't actually go out and meet new people.

[lightbulb27]

If you are listening to coaches then you need help w your sicial skills to learn how to talk to women. Thus its good advice.

[Asker]

I just see them on Instagram. I’ve been dating since I was 15, trust me I know how to talk to women. Just like I talk to other people

[lightbulb27]

Thats good. I didn't and so their advice was helpful. Take what good you can. Some is not… know yourself!

[ProbablyClueless]

It's a numbers game; the more often you ask, the more likely you are to hear the answer yes. Also, the dating coaches often got their start in the pick up artist community.

[Radiate143]

If a man can't cold approach a woman, how will he lead and defend a family?

[Asker]

It’s not about someone’s ability to cold approach a woman. It’s about his chances of success.

[Radiate143]

Yes, it is. It's about courage and bravery.

[Asker]

That’s the bare minimum. You don’t need courage to strike a conversation with another human being. It’s not that simple. Not all women think like you, that a man is brave and courageous if he approaches you.
I don’t think a man can ever have better chances with a woman when he approaches her out of the blue than when there’s some rapport between them. Do you trust some random dude? Or you trust a guy from your circle you already know?

[Radiate143]

Hmm.. well we certainly don't like guys staring at us and pretending not to look at us then giving us sour faces because they feel inadequate making their insecurity our problem. This is what the norm is.

[genericname85]

the idea is becoming immune to the pain of rejection but in fact what they're instructing you to do is to speedrun depression.

[Asker]

That’s not even rejection. Maybe a woman is scared of you when a stranger approaches her.
Rejection is when you go to a couple of dates with a woman and she tells you she is not into you

[genericname85]

Asking someone to give you their number and them saying no is also rejection.

[Asker]

But she doesn’t reject you as a person, because she doesn’t know you, so you don’t have to take it personally. Maybe she doesn’t give her number to strangers. She might want to protect herself from a potential threat.
To me, if she gives you her number, goes out with you and then she ghosts you or tells you she’s not into you, that’s rejection. She clearly gave you a chance and she realized she was not into you.

[paledreams]

I won't cold open the same way I don't even cold start a car or cold call in sales ; that job was brutal 😂😆 for commissions lol 😂

[paledreams]

So my answer is no and I'd not be so gullible. 😉😆

[Yannae]

They don't care about your results or what girl you end up attracting. They care about your money.

[RingOfFire]

Because there are a lot of foolish people that are willing to pay them for such advice.

[Anonymous]

their dating advice is as bullshit as that of mainstream society

[DextroShade]

The odds are probably better than dating apps.

[Anonymous]

It's a numbers game! You will have more rejections than acceptances, but if you don't try, you won't have anything. Simple.

[Asker]

In my case, I had only rejections. I only have acceptances when the woman knows me before

[Opinion Owner]

How many attempts have you made? Have you walked into a busy bar/night club and approached 10 or more women? This is not for the faint of heart.

[Asker]

Again, I’m talking about some serious women you want to get into a serious relationship with. I can guess which women are more available and desperate.
I approached 3. The first two rejected me, the third accepted me. I knew the third would, because she looked more “easy”.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes.. like I said... a numbers game whether you're looking for sex or a more serious connection. Even if friends try to connect you with someone, there will be failures and successes.

[Asker]

I know well. Especially when a friend’s girlfriend thinks I’m her friend’s type just because i wear glasses 🤓

[In_Trance]

Because the chances of success if you don't approach are zero

[Anonymous]

Because they are meatheads who care not for the firing squads and lifelong prison sentences passed down for violations of the MeToo statutes

[007kingifrit]

because its a numbers game, if you do it enough it might work

[RedInnocent69]

How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice…

[Jason2469]

Who the fuck careswhat a woman wants feels or thinks. Lol.

[DarkLegacy]

Quite right

[Joshgag2000]

Because if they don’t say anything then no one will pay them

[LiamJHayden]

You miss all of the shots you don't take.

[Asker]

I understand this to a point. If you don’t try, failure is certain.
But why won’t you try to aim before taking the shot instead of shooting aimlessly for the sake of it?
You think of a plan and then you go for it.

[jahaims]

Do you not understand basic statistics?